Review by Booklist Review
In this luminous memoir-in-stories, Boylan, the author of many books, including the memoir Stuck in the Middle with You: Parenting in Three Genders (2013) and the novel Mad Honey (2022) with Jodi Picoult, examines the differences between manhood and womanhood, noting they are "as I have experienced them, in everything from food to fashion, from love to loss." As a trans woman who knew from her earliest memories that she was female, Boylan wonders what it means to be a woman who never had a girlhood. Nonetheless, "the person I'd been was, mostly, still a source of joy for me." Some stories are emotionally charged, like those about her marriage, her children, and her daughter's own transition. She writes fondly of mentors, especially the brilliant writer John Barth. Among a generous assortment of topics, Boylan also examines mothers, lovers, voice, and rogues and pixies in a chapter that may have some readers scratching their heads. While her tone ranges from sprightly to quirky to serious, the content of Boylan's stories is always erudite, enlightening, and thought-provoking. Love is never far from her consciousness. She concludes that with a little luck, love might prevail, and readers will hope so, too.
From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review
In this witty and wise memoir-in-essays, Boylan (She's Not There) reflects on her status as a trans elder more than 20 years after her transition. The book opens with an essay titled "Both Sides Now," and its namesake Joni Mitchell song offers an instructive reference point: throughout, Boylan strikes a balanced, clear-eyed tone, acknowledging that her years living as a man were not pure tragedy, and that living as a woman has not cured her of all longing. But gender is just one subject through which Boylan explores rich themes of in-betweenness. "The Heisenberg Variations" leans the furthest into literary criticism, with Boylan considering how the understanding of stories--including L. Frank Baum's Oz series and Maggie Nelson's The Argonauts--are altered by time, context, and readership. In "Daughters," Boylan writes movingly of her own child's gender transition, wrestling with her complicated feelings about "my own child turn out to be someone like me." Boylan is an accomplished and playful writer, adept at handling serious subjects with a light but poignant touch; she asserts more than once that she's "probably the wrong guy to ask," winking at the rigidity of gender discourse without mocking it outright. Readers will be equal parts entertained and edified. Agent: Kristine Dahl, CAA. (Feb.)
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Review by Kirkus Book Review
Charting the boundaries between manhood and womanhood. In 15 engaging chapters that blend memoir and cultural critique, Boylan chronicles numerous formative experiences, ranging from her childhood and adolescence on the Philadelphia Main Line, to college at Wesleyan University and marriage as a cis man to a cis woman, to parenthood and success as a writer and college professor. The book's emotional linchpin is "Mothers," in which Boylan, a noted authority on gender, depicts her older child's decision post-college to transition from cis male to trans woman. Boylan initially experienced a welter of conflicting emotions upon learning of her child's intentions: "It was all something I'd never have wished on anybody, especially someone whom I loved" and "Is it possible, I wondered,that I made this look like fun?" The irony and painful surprise are worthy of an O. Henry story. Other chapters are informed by observations of the shifting attitudes toward trans people and the fewer opportunities for community that Boylan has noted over the past two decades since she first came out as trans: "There used to be a lot of [trans-centered] conventions, places where trans people could safely gather for a weekend." Of her 2003 memoirShe's Not There, Boylan remarks that the book is permeated by "an air of apology," and "In so many ways, the author of that book is begging the reader--Please, don't hate me. I'm so sorry." Today, however, "People coming out as trans…aren't apologizing for who they are. They aren't begging for forgiveness or understanding." Her stated hope for her community, in spite of rising backlash, is that "love will prevail"--the same words her mother used when Boylan told her she was transitioning. An exploration of gender that effectively balances pathos and humor. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
