Talk The new science of conversation and the art of being ourselves

Brooks, an associate professor of business administration at Harvard Business School, debuts with a perceptive guide to what she characterizes as "one of the most complex and uncertain" of everyday human tasks. Citing a need to move beyond "social niceties" espoused by earlier and slicker communication philosophies (such as Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People), she contends that good conversation involves "expecting problems, noticing them, and working to solve them as best we can." Obstacles to doing so include participants' competing priorities and the constant, mentally taxing practice of "self-reading, mind-reading, and room-reading." Brooks's suggestions for improvement range from the concrete, like preparing a list of discussion topics in advance, or asking lots of follow-up questions (those who do "are better liked"), to more complex skills like understanding and prioritizing others' "conversational needs" (which can include "hard feedback, new ideas, a quick laugh, a sounding board, challenging questions, a break"). Compiling valuable data from speed-dating sessions, sales calls, and parole hearings, the author builds a convincing case for practicing and better understanding the elements that shape good conversation. Lucid and pragmatic, this unlocks some of the mysteries of human communication. (Jan.)