Matchmaker matchmaker Find me a love that lasts

Matchmaker and dating coach Ben Shalom (Get Real Get Married), who starred in the Netflix series Jewish Matchmaking, shares the secrets of her trade in this pragmatic guide. Rejecting the idea that "meeting someone should be effortless," she advises readers to go on at least five dates with a potential partner before judging the relationship's viability or having sex. Other tips include ensuring that one's core values align with a partner's, and pursuing one's own professional and personal goals because "the best, most whole, and most alive version of yourself" is most likely to attract the right partner. Ben Shalom details client case studies date-by-date, providing insight on how to perceive the lack of an initial spark ("not feeling butterflies in the beginning" doesn't mean the relationship is doomed) and cautioning against seeking validation from another person (readers should be more concerned with how they feel about potential partners than vice versa). While the advice is aimed at heterosexual couples, and recommendations that men should always pay for the first date or "pursue" women can feel antiquated, readers will glean confidence from Ben Shalom's concrete guidance and methodical, no-nonsense approach. It's a solid manual for singles seeking a no-frills approach to finding the one. (Dec.)