Beyond the mountains An immigrant's inspiring journey of healing and learning to dance with the universe

Deja Vu Prem

Book - 2024

"The powerful story of how an immigrant from the Philippines overcame childhood trauma and an emotionally abusive marriage to find her voice and thrive"--

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Review by Booklist Review

This heartfelt and candid memoir depicts the journey of a smart and determined woman who grew up too fast in pursuit of a better life beyond her rural town in the Philippines. Known in 1989 at age 17 as Luisa, she was attracted to girls but married a 33-year-old American pen pal, moved to the U.S., suffered an induced abortion, gave birth to two kids, and found herself divorced and jobless after four years of marriage. Readers will feel deeply immersed in Prem's tale of self-discovery, courage, and resiliency. She recounts the trauma of sexual abuse, her complex love-hate relationship with her family, and feeling starved for affection. She shares her conflicting emotions about her belief in God and her awe for her grandfather, a formidable shaman in her small rural town. Prem's account of her success as a filmmaker, coming out as gay, and finding herself through a mixture of providence and verve will resonate with readers as an introspective and engaging chronicle of what it's like to pursue the American dream with resolution in spite of the ugliness of prejudice. Throughout, Prem imparts words of wisdom and encouragement.

From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

In this stirring debut memoir, Prem recounts coming from the rural Philippines to San Francisco as a mail-order bride in 1989 and her subsequent struggle to leave her emotionally abusive marriage. After a brutal childhood marked by poverty and sexual abuse, with solo walks in the mountains as her only respite, Prem learned about mail-order brides during a trip to the library. Certain she'd found her only ticket to "something better," at age 17 she began corresponding with an American named Harvey. Prem soon moved to San Francisco, married Harvey, and gave birth to two children. It didn't take long, however, for Harvey to reveal his controlling, emotionally manipulative tendencies. After four years of marriage, Prem left him with only $100 in her pocket, taking her daughters first to Berkeley, Calif., and then to Colorado, where she once again took solace in nature. In the memoir's second half, Prem tentatively enters a new relationship, returns to the Philippines to face her abusers, and offers her daughters hard-won nuggets of wisdom. Throughout, her tenacity and unstinting optimism inspire. This slim volume pays big emotional dividends. (Nov.)

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Review by Kirkus Book Review

A "mail-order bride" from the Philippines creates a nontraditional life for herself in the United States. At a young age, Deja Vu Prem (then known as Lucia) was dissatisfied with her life in her "remote barrio in the Philippines." With a mother who she resented, a father who was rarely home, and three relatives who sexually assaulted her, Prem dreamed of leaving for America, a land she learned about from one of her father's jobs. She writes, "The encounters with the Americans gave me the perspective that America was a safe haven and its people were kind." Determined to escape from poverty and abuse, at the age of 17, a chance encounter with a stranger leads her to begin corresponding with five American men in search of mail-order brides. When she announces her engagement to one of these men--a sound engineer named Harvey--her family is shocked, but helpless to stop her migration. Soon after a brief wedding in Las Vegas and a subsequent move to California, Prem realizes that her husband is dangerously manipulative. Eventually, Prem embarks on a life of remarkable creativity and independence, which culminates in her realization of her queerness and her decision to rename herself Deja Vu. Prem's story resonates with frankness, circumspection, and humor. Her ebullient voice radiates warmth and confidence and is just as confident poking fun at her own foibles as it is celebrating her resourcefulness and strength. While the prose can, at times, feel stilted, this story is a pleasure to read. The triumphant tale of a Filipina who takes control of her story. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.