Trigger

Seventeen-year-old Jay wakes up to find himself in a park, bleeding, his body covered with bruises. He suspects that he has been raped, but maddeningly, he can't remember the night before, when it must have happened. But why is he alone, and where is his boyfriend, Jackson? He was last seen with Jay in the alley outside of Onyx, the club they'd gone to. He'd told Jay he'd be right back, then vanished into the club and hasn't been seen since. Frantic, Jay goes to Jackson's house and races upstairs to his deserted room, where he finds a Rolex watch. But how could Jackson afford such a luxury item? It's a mystery, but the impact of the assault is no mystery: it's left Jay with an anxiety disorder and PTSD. Will he be able to remember the fateful night, and will it help him recover? Moore has written a hard-edged novel in verse about abuse and sexual assault and their impacts on the victim--one of few books like this about a boy. The book is extremely well written and the story compelling.

In the wake of a life-altering night, a gay teen in the British Isles fights for survival, closure, and justice. Jay Walker awakens in a park covered in blood and bruises; he was drugged and raped, but shadows cloak his memory of what happened. He and his boyfriend, Jackson, were at the club. Why did Jackson leave him? Why won't he answer Jay's messages? "Stats help me understand," Jay says in his first-person verse narrative, but they offer the grim likelihood that someone he knows was responsible. Still, these numbers are only "maybes and possibilities": Jay needs to know the truth. Confused by his boyfriend's behavior, he goes to Jackson's house, where he finds evidence that leads to even more questions--a Mac and a Rolex. How could a boy with a struggling single mum afford these expensive items? The poems' short lines capture the fragmented nature of Jay's memories and the frantic frustration of his feelings. As Jay recovers physically, his parents and his best friend, Lau, surround him with support, but Jay feels out of place in his old life. He grapples with fear, shame, self-doubt, questions of identity, and his understanding of love. Therapy and a support group play important roles in his journey toward confronting what happened and discovering how to keep living. Most characters are cued white. A survivor's story portrayed with honest heaviness and caring vulnerability. (author's note, resources)(Verse fiction. 14-18) Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

PART 1 Survival HOLLOW I don't remember Anything from that night. I don't remember How I got The bruises down my thighs. I don't remember How I woke up there, Wet grass splayed around me. I don't remember When they scooped out All of me From this hollow husk Of a body. THE PARK Head heavy, Lifeless limbs, Muddled mind - Every sound Slices through my being, A waterfall of sensations Drowning me. I feel for my phone, Fingertips grazing the cracks. Hold down the power button. Nothing. A golf ball Whizzes overhead. I get to my feet, Stumble into tree cover, Face drenched in sweat, Dried blood and Fresh tears. SUNRISE I emerge from the trees To a ball of blazing red Setting the Sunday skyline On fire. Bones aching, Body beaten, Mind battered, I wonder how something So beautiful Can exist When I'm So lost? WET I traipse through the park, Avoiding Sunday-morning joggers. I glance around me, Dip a hand in my bottoms. I examine the slick liquid, Burning bright Against pale skin. Excerpted from Trigger by C. G. Moore All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.