The bonus family handbook The definitive guide to co-parenting and creating stronger families

This diplomatic guide from family counselor Blackstone (Co-parenting Through Separation and Divorce) offers advice on how parents can navigate caring for a blended family. Expounding on dating after divorce, Blackstone recommends parents only introduce children to partners they're serious about because kids crave consistency. She tackles the many issues parents should consider when creating a blended household, suggesting that parents wait to move in with a new partner's family until they find a home with enough space to accommodate each child's privacy needs, and that biological parents should set the rules for their kids while stepparents uphold them. Throughout, Blackstone entreats readers to approach everything, from establishing house rules to deflating tensions between an ex and new partner, by applying her "CARE" (communication, acceptance, respect, and empathy) framework, which entails listening to the concerns of all involved, taking "each other's backgrounds and history into consideration," respecting the opinions of others, and putting oneself in the other party's shoes. The discerning advice covers how to manage an extensive range of scenarios--from splitting custody of children over holidays to resolving fights between stepsiblings and building relationships with stepchildren--with kindness and grace. Blackstone packs this encyclopedic manual full of insight. (Oct.)

Nearly 30 years ago, coparenting counselor and child-custody mediator Blackstone (coauthor, Ex-Etiquette for Weddings) coined the term "bonus family" as an alternative to the word "stepfamily," which often has negative connotations. Her new book guides readers through how to best blend families and coparent. She writes from experience; she is friends with her husband's former wife, and her child once asked (and wanted) their half-sibling's mother to go on vacation with them. Her book shows that the keys to having a supportive, cohesive family unit (comprising previous and new relationships) relate to communication, acceptance, respect, and empathy, which she urges readers to remember as the acronym CARE. She offers tips for dating after a breakup, moving in together with a new partner and their children, collaborating with an ex on raising kids, transforming mindsets, and more. Her book also addresses what to do when everyone comes together for weddings, commitment and religious ceremonies, and holidays--Mother's Day and Father's Day, for example--that can lead to tricky situations. She also mentions many other challenges that may be introduced to the household. VERDICT This definitive practical guide addresses nearly every situation that bonus families might experience.