True to you A therapist's guide to stop pleasing others and start being yourself

Kathleen Smith, 1985-

Book - 2024

"A Guide to The Theory and Practice of Creating Authentic Relationships. When's the last time you felt as composed as you portray to your boss, family and friends? If there's a discord between the two, you're not alone. Humans are master pretenders--we often seem stronger, calmer and more mature than we really are, while the truth is we're full of doubts and self-criticism that pushes us to borrow reassurance from friends, beliefs from strangers on the internet, or attention that, in the moment, makes us feel successful, but leaves us totally hollow and burnt out. True to You is a relatable self-help guide for people who want to learn to live less focused on others' reactions and more confidently by their own p...rinciples. Readers will learn how to: Interrupt relationship patterns that keep you stuck; Rely less on praise and approval from others; Develop a solid sense of self in anxious times; Build more authentic and rewarding relationships. Dr. Smith uses examples from the lives of her therapy clients to explain how we borrow confidence, calmness, and beliefs from our relationships and offers actionable steps and exercises for building a life with your own best-thinking. With a healthy dose of humor, she unpacks the science of our social nature, explaining why we try so hard to be what others want us to be and how we can start living from the inside out. By learning how to be more responsible for yourself, rather than over-responsible for everyone else, you can find the freedom to develop richer relationships, pursue what's important to you, and feel steadier in this very anxious world"--

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Subjects
Published
New York : St. Martin's Essentials 2024.
Language
English
Main Author
Kathleen Smith, 1985- (author)
Edition
First edition
Physical Description
viii, 277 pages : illustrations ; 22 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN
9781250893017
  • Introduction
  • Part I. The Relationship Patterns that Keep us Stuck
  • 1. How We Lose Ourselves
  • 2. The Cost of Keeping People Happy
  • 3. How We End up Borrowing Our Beliefs
  • 4. How We End up Overfunctioning for Others
  • 5. How We End up Underfunctioning
  • 6. The Ways We Distance from Others
  • 7. How We End up Blaming Others
  • Part II. How We Find Ourselves
  • 8. Ending the Chase for Approval and Attention
  • 9. Learning to Let People Surprise Us
  • 10. Becoming More Responsible for Ourselves
  • 11. Building Stronger Relationsships
  • 12. Learning to Evaluate Ourselves
  • 13. Finding the Courage to Take a Position
  • Conclusion: The Challenges We Face
  • Growing Questions
  • Bowen Questions
  • Acknowledgments
  • Notes