I promise it won't always hurt like this 18 assurances on grief

Mystery novelist Mackintosh (The Last Party) shares in this cathartic account the lessons she learned after the death of her five-week-old son, Alex. Three weeks after his premature birth, Alex's health issues began to snowball, from a bacterial infection to meningitis to a brain hemorrhage. Eventually, Mackintosh and her husband made the devastating decision to take Alex off life support and end his suffering. Almost two decades later, Mackintosh opens up about that experience, structuring her thoughts around "a series of promises: my commitment to that the sun will rise again." Each of the 18 chapters are baseed on a lesson she's learned in the 18 years since Alex's death, including that grievers "won't always lie awake at night, sobbing until cannot breathe," and that the deceased "won't always be first thought in the morning." Throughout, Mackintosh expresses her anguish with striking candor, labeling her feeling after Alex's passing as "raw, choking pain impossible to describe to those who haven't felt it." While certain assurances come across more like platitudes than hard-won truths (including the promise that every mourner will "find someone who understands"), for the most part, Mackintosh delivers a salve for broken hearts. Readers who've been touched by loss will find comfort in these pages. (Mar.)

Grief is a beast. It is terrible. Losing a loved one can feel like hitting a wall of pain. Best-selling mystery author Mackintosh knows this firsthand. She makes her nonfiction debut with this memoir about the death of her infant son. She admits she compartmentalized her grief. She could not process her loss, and 14 years after her son's death, she was emotionally ambushed by it. On the anniversary of her son's death, she shared her thoughts online because she felt so alone in her grief. She also wanted to offer hope to people who, like her, who were still struggling with their grief. Through the response she received, she learned that grieving is an act and that everyone experiences it differently. Sometimes the smallest thing can trigger a painful memory. She wrote this book, supplying 18 "assurances" for the hard moments in the grieving process and to comfort those who read it and let them know they are not alone. VERDICT Mackintosh's words deliver because of her honesty and openness about getting past the pain. Highly recommended.--Laura Ellis