Disability intimacy Essays on love, care, and desire

Review by Booklist Review

Intimacy in its many forms is one of the greatest gifts--and needs--of being human. This celebration of disabled intimacy takes an unflinching look at how members of the disabled community pursue meaningful relationships even when society puts up barriers. In essays, poetry, and photos, contributors examine many types of intimate relationships, not only sexual and romantic but also between friends, creatives, caregivers, and parents and children. A woman with a neuromuscular disorder shares her longing to become a mother; a nonbinary person with autism who describes their wonder at living alone to freely pursue their needs; a man with curvature of the spine cocreates photographs to share his experience on his own terms. The importance of community, shared experiences, and understanding is a recurrent theme. Many pieces consider how the pandemic shaped experiences of intimacy, particularly for immunocompromised people. With powerful first-person perspectives, this richly diverse chorus of voices honestly assesses the challenges of living with disabilities in a world centered around the non-disabled and shares the joy of connection.

From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.

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Review by Kirkus Book Review

Disabled writer and thinker Wong's latest book focuses on expanding the idea of intimacy beyond ableist interpretations. "When I started working on this book, I googled 'disability intimacy,' and the search results were disappointing and pathetic. 'Ewwwwww,' I muttered to myself." So writes Wong, the author of Year of the Tiger, in this witty, vulnerable, and insightful collection that highlights a diverse roster of disabled writers. The book, which the author organizes partially around the central value of "tenderness," delves into topics such as love, creativity, care, and power, all while treating intimacy as a vast and multifaceted concept that can be applied to individuals just as easily as collectives. The contributions include a photo essay about care work, a poem about kissing, and a hybrid essay about "Bondage, Domination / Discipline, Service / Submission, Sadism and Masochism," also known as BDSM. Alongside these formally inventive approaches, other writers examine nontraditional subjects of intimacy, including, among others, a disabled pet and "a contraption called a Milwaukee back brace." Just like Wong's introduction, which includes both a confession about her romantic history and a gloriously poetic description of her sexual desire, most contributions are intensely confessional, inviting readers into the writers' lives with radical, compassionate love and encouraging them to rethink their traditional views of everything from sex to love to care. Unfortunately, the sheer number of essays results in an overstuffed book that includes a handful of pieces whose quality doesn't quite rise to the admittedly high bar of the most extraordinary ones. Overall, though, this anthology is not only a joy to read but also a welcome introduction to innovative, intensely liberating approaches that are sure to change the way readers feel about traditional notions of intimacy. A poignant anthology about ability and intimacy that espouses a gorgeously original worldview. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

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