Grown woman talk Your guide to getting and staying healthy

Sharon Malone, 1959-

Book - 2024

"A practical guide to aging and health for women who have felt ignored or marginalized by the medical profession, from a leading Ob/Gyn and expert on menopausal and post-reproductive health. The medical system today is increasingly complicated and impersonal, and unfortunately, it is not going to be less so in the future. The rules of engagement have changed in medicine, but no one has bothered to inform patients. Much is written about Black women and women of color, be it our increased cancer risk, our alarming obesity statistics, or our disproportionate risk of cardiovascular diseases, but very little is written for us, and a diagnosis from Dr. Internet doesn't cut it. Talk about being sick? Dr. Sharon Malone is sick of that. Gr...own Woman Talk is for all women who have often not been seen or heard. For more than three decades as a practicing Ob/Gyn in the nation's capital and now as chief medical officer of Alloy Women's Health, Dr. Malone has served women across the city all the way to the upper echelons of power. In this book, she gives us the nudge we all need to become effective and efficient advocates in getting the care we deserve. Part medical memoir of the Malone family experience tracing from the Jim Crow South to the highest corridors of power in Washington, part relatable clinical scenarios of women from all walks of life and experiences, and part practical medical and logistical advice, this book is a reliable and easy-to-understand resource. In addition to information on ailments like fibroids, cancer, heart disease, and perimenopause, it also helps us navigate the medical establishment of today with advice on how to choose a doctor, why our family's health history matters, and how to decide among treatments. Combining emerging practices with the latest research the book addresses many women's greatest gap, the one between what they believe and what is actually true. With a combination of medical expertise, up-to-date science, and lived experience, Grown Woman Talk addresses the most common conditions women over forty deal with. And it helps women, especially Black women, identify the power they have and how to use it to chart a path to improve their health outcomes and thrive"--

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  • Introduction
  • 1. Solid: It's Time to Establish a Dependable Medical Home
  • 2. Family Affair: Knowing Your History Helps You Build a Brighter Future
  • 3. In the Thick of it: Sick or Not-So-Sick? Be Ready and Make the Right Call
  • 4. Brave and Strong: What You Need to Know (and Do) About Cancer
  • 5. Control: Chronic Stress, Weight Gain, and Diabetes Tame Your Triple Threat
  • 6. Key to Your Hearth: Guarding Against Cardiovascular Disease
  • 7. When It Don't Come Easy: Brain Health and Alzheimer's
  • 8. I Will Survive: "Female Troubles" and Their Treatments
  • 9. Hot in Herre: Welcome to Perimenopause, Fertility's Final Frontier
  • 10. Finally!: Menopause and Beyond
  • 11. Here Comes the Sun: Live Your Best Menopausal Life
  • 12. Heaven Bound: Be a Benefactor, Not a Burden
  • Epilogue
  • Acknowledgments
  • Pleylist
  • Additional Resources
  • Bibliography
  • Reader Notes
  • Index
Review by Booklist Review

Preventive care is the "Holy Grail" and women need to be their own primary caregivers. In this commonsense guide, Malone, an ob-gyn, stresses the importance of healthy habits: eat unprocessed food, get a good night's sleep, stretch the body and mind, minimize stress, limit alcohol intake, and don't smoke. A music lover, she drops in song titles, such as "Respect" when she writes about looking for a doctor's office that shows that to patients. Along those same lines, she makes a Grey's Anatomy--themed joke: "Forget Dr. McDreamy and Dr. McSteamy. You need Dr. McSeeMe." Malone tucks in easy-to-understand, potentially lifesaving information, such as how untreated urinary tract infections can progress to kidney infections and sepsis. As a Black woman raised by a mom who died of colon cancer at 57, Malone argues for seeing a doctor regularly, getting tests, and maintaining a medical family tree. "Genetics are not destiny," she states. She also pushes the importance of friends and mentions Michelle Obama, one of her own. (Her husband, Eric Holder, served as U.S. Attorney General under President Barack Obama.) Readers will feel empowered.

From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

"It's time to talk openly and unapologetically about the common things that we all should know could happen in our bodies," contends obstetrician gynecologist Malone in her spirited debut guide to how women over 50 can take control of their health. Offering scientific background on and advice for preventing Alzheimer's disease, diabetes, and hypertension, among other illnesses, Malone explains that cardiovascular disease "is caused by the accumulation of damage to your blood vessels caused by cholesterol plaques, blood clots, chronic inflammation, and/or high blood pressure," and recommends that patients exercise for 30 minutes five times per week and refrain from smoking to stave off the condition. Highlighting the health troubles faced by Black women, specifically, Malone explains how the "chronic stresses induced by systemic injustice steadily erodes the health of marginalized people" and notes that "Black women tend to have higher levels of stress hormones even when they do not self-report feeling stressed." Frequent parenthetical references to thematically relevant songs distract, but Malone's social insight elevates her advice and the emphasis on advocating for oneself ("Don't normalize discomfort. Demand to be heard, seen, and have your complaints addressed") tackles an often-overlooked obstacle to receiving adequate treatment. It's a robust primer on grappling with the health issues that come with aging. Agent: Gail Ross, WME. (Apr.)

(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved
Review by Library Journal Review

This addition to the growing library of woman-centered approaches to aging mixes science with playful chapter titles based on songs; they're put together in a playlist so that women can rock out even when they're feeling hot from menopause--or bothered by racist, classist, and sexist double standards related to medical care. Malone, the chief medical officer of Alloy Women's Health, reminds readers that an individual doesn't always have full control over their own health; medical biases, lack of access to care, and other systemic issues lead to racial health disparities and mean that healthy eating and exercise aren't enough to keep people well. As a result, she gives guidance designed to empower women to advocate for themselves and to utilize everything available to them without demanding superfoods or cost-prohibitive wellness trends. She cautions that when physicians--and wellness influencers--focus on weight and BMI, they neglect real health concerns. For example, a doctor might "prescribe" weight loss when a woman comes in for a concern requiring more nuanced health management or a different diagnosis. VERDICT A remarkable, accessible offering of feasible action steps that will help women feel more in control of medical issues related to heart health, hormones, cancer, and much more. Written from a social justice lens.--Emily Bowles

(c) Copyright Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

Chapter 1 Solid It's Time to Establish a Dependable Medical Home Dear Sis, Quick: What's your internist's name? When was the last time you went to the gynecologist? Have you had a bone density test? Did you get and keep the results of your most recent colonoscopy? How? And when was that? You should know the answers to these questions cold! If you don't, we're going to get you there--­and everywhere else you need to be to have better control of your health and a better life. First, you need a team of sound and reliable healthcare professionals, and that's about having more than board certifications and a decent bedside manner, although both are important. It's also about convenience. If your doctors are hard to get to, you won't go as often as you should. And you'll be better served if your doctors know each other and are affiliated with the same hospital system. At this stage of your life, lots of things can get in the way of good care, from your socioeconomic status and politics to your gender and race. You cannot ignore that but you also can't control that. That said, you are your primary caregiver! Not your significant other, your BFF, your parent, or your grown child. Not even your primary care physician. No one is going to care more about your health than you do. No one is in a better position to do more about your health than you are. And no one has more to gain when you handle your business than you! xo, Dr. Sharon We know that whatever, whomever, and wherever we come from shapes us. But it also shapes our relationships with our bodies, with food and fitness, and with healthcare and self-­care. Even as a doctor, I am no exception. Caregiving, I got. But, like most of us, I have a complicated relationship with care-­getting. And that's rooted in how and where I grew up ["Home"]. It is hard to describe my hometown. It is neither a small town nor a big city. It is urban without being urbane. Mobile, Alabama, sits at the mouth of the Mobile Bay and at the anus of the Mobile River. It marks both the beginning and end of things. For those fleeing the oppressive poverty and lack of opportunity of the state's interior farmlands, as my parents did, Mobile was a beacon of hope. As a way station, it served its purpose. But for many, Mobile was just a rest stop on the way to a better life. In 1944, shortly before the end of World War II, my parents left the Black Belt, a large swath of rural Alabama named not only for its rich, dark soil but also for the preponderance of descendants of the enslaved who toiled there for generations. I have often wondered what made my parents, Bertha and Willie Malone, leave "the country," which is what city folk called the 95 percent of Alabama that didn't have streetlights or paved roads. I mean, what makes a man and woman with no money, little education, and four babies uproot their lives in the midst of a war to move to the giant and scary unknown? Were the crops failing? Was there unspeakable violence? I can only speculate, because my parents never spoke of it, but the answer must lie in the notion that whatever they were leaving was intolerable and whatever lay ahead could be no worse. Like millions of other Black people who fled the South during the Great Migration, they may have simply been searching for a better life for their growing family. And, to them, Mobile was The Big City--­a mecca of possibility unlike anything they'd ever known. Ultimately, they found jobs at Brookley Air Force Base--­Mom as a maid and Dad in maintenance--­and, indeed, they were able to create for us what had been denied to them. By 1949, they had managed to buy our two-­bedroom house at 760 St. Anthony Street. They filled it with three more kids and my paternal grandfather, aunties, and a host of cousins who needed a place to stay until they got on their feet. How ironic that they made a home there, on the street named for the patron saint of lost and stolen things. How many things had my parents lost or had stolen away? I will never know, but I know that they moved there with the sincere hope to find them. Our neighborhood was unique. Although segregation was de rigueur in Mobile, it had once been white. I knew this because there were remnants of that whiteness all around. We lived next door to the old Marine hospital, which during the Civil War supposedly treated both Union and Confederate soldiers, although I have my doubts about how many Union soldiers were treated there before the city was taken. By the time my family moved in beside it, the once-grand Greek Revival building had been repurposed into a tuberculosis asylum, never mind that a cure for tuberculosis had already been discovered. And who thought it was a good idea to put a TB hospital directly across the street from an elementary school in the middle of a residential area? As a child, I watched TB patients scale the six-­foot brick wall that was supposed to keep them in. Then I watched them blend seamlessly into the neighborhood, only to return by nightfall. One block to our west was the city hospital, Old Mobile General. Another approximation of neoclassical architecture, Old Mobile General provided a lovely facade for the completely separate and unequal medical care it delivered inside. Black patients entered through the "colored only" entrances in the rear and were attended by white doctors and white staff in segregated wards. In the 130 years of its existence, no Black doctors were allowed to admit patients there. I say all of this to illustrate how much has changed in our orientation to medical care and its orientation toward us--­and how much has not. Too many of the geographic, economic, and cultural barriers that shaped healthcare in the Jim Crow South of my childhood persist throughout the country to this day. The world's most recent pandemic refocused our attention on preexisting inadequacies and biases in our healthcare system but offered no new solutions. And the same issues that have disfigured the system since its inception have given rise to our often dysfunctional relationships with it. Case in point: My four oldest siblings were born at home on the farm in my mother's tiny birthplace, a town so small and rural it didn't have a proper name. It shouldn't surprise you to know it didn't have a hospital either. After moving to the city, my parents' fifth child was born in a "colored" maternity hospital run by Catholic nuns. Surely my mother expected the care there would be at least marginally better than a home delivery--­but it must not have been, because baby number six was born at home. My mother delivered her next child at Old Mobile General, the segregated hospital a block away from our house. Seven years later, she gave birth to me, her eighth and last child, in her bedroom on St. Anthony Street. Just twelve years later, she died. So, I was never able to ask my mom why she made the choices she did, or to learn how her treatment compared in these very different institutions. But without uttering a word, her actions spoke volumes. One doesn't need psychic powers to know that neither Mobile's segregated hospital, with its white-­only physicians and "colored only" wards, nor the crowded "colored" hospital, with its substandard tools, made my mother feel cared for, or safe. Bear in mind that Mom had come of age in a place with no hospital, no doctors nearby, and truth be told, no effective treatments for most illnesses even when a doctor was summoned--­and doing so was no small thing. First of all, you had to have the money to pay the doctor. Most folks did not. Second, you had to get in your horse-­drawn buggy (remember, this was the 1920s in rural Alabama--­very few people owned cars) and travel miles to go get him (it was always a "him" in those days). Just imagine if nearly every time a doctor was summoned, someone was grievously ill and quite possibly near death. And so you were rarely sure whether the doctor had actually helped or hurt. Would you be quick to seek medical help? Exactly. And let's not forget that in my parents' day, these doctors were practicing medicine before antibiotics or insulin, before high blood pressure medicine, and in many cases, without anesthesia. There really wasn't much in that old black bag except maybe a stethoscope, some bandages, a tourniquet, catgut sutures, and a bone saw. Doctors were associated with trauma, some of which they caused. Given that, even house calls must have been a terrifying experience. Imagine the agony that was witnessed; imagine how it felt to be sick and in a doctor's so-­called "care." These deeply disturbing associations were cemented in the minds of generations of people, my mother's included. Mom believed in hard work, education, and the power of God--­not necessarily in that order. She insisted on a clean house and did virtually no socializing outside of her church and family. And she was deeply suspicious of white people, especially of white doctors and their versions of care. With this history, is it any wonder that when my proud, self-­contained mother got sick in her mid-­50s, she didn't seek help until she was so ill that there was no viable option for treatment? Excerpted from Grown Woman Talk: Your Guide to Getting and Staying Healthy by Sharon Malone All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.