Review by Booklist Review
Readers assuming a memoir from a death doula will be somber, sentimental, or sedate will be pleasantly surprised by this upbeat, entertaining, and life-affirming account. Arthur graduated from elite universities and practiced law for over a decade before discovering her true calling. Many people, she finds, are surprised by her appearance (5 feet, 10 inches, born in Ghana, dreads to the middle of her back, lots of piercings and ink) and methods--forthright, direct, and laser focused on the wishes of her clients, though not always on those of their caregivers. Witty, themed chapters explore the influences that led Arthur to her career as a death doula and shaped her training, outlook, and personal growth. Her descriptions of past cases, made up of composite characters in representative scenarios, showcase both her professionalism and her empathetic grace. She shares what she's learned: every day we live, we're one day older than we've ever been before and one day closer to death. It's time to love our ever-evolving selves and make the most of every day. Arthur's is wise, thoughtful, reassuring counsel.
From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review
Arthur recalls in her elegant debut memoir how she became a death doula, providing emotional support and guidance to those who are nearing death. Eight years into a dissatisfying law career, Arthur was depressed, unmoored, and sure she'd "fumbled my way into a life I despised." On a trip to Cuba in search of answers, she had a transformative encounter with a woman suffering from uterine cancer; when she asked how the woman felt about the possibility of dying and learned no one had posed such a question before, Arthur knew she'd stumbled into her life's calling: "It breaks my heart that Jessica is dancing alone with death. I feel called to dance with her in that lonely place." Interweaving the account of her journey to becoming a death doula with digressions into her legal career, romantic relationships, bouts of depression, and childhood memories of fleeing Ghana with her family in the 1980s, Arthur poignantly recalls how her clients prepared for death, whether in quiet privacy or surrounded by music, art, and friends, "in full surrender, grateful for the gift to have been... human." Taken together, these stories portray death as simultaneously personal, universal, and unknowable, a complexity that Arthur acknowledges with consummate respect: "No certainty exists in the practice of death companioning.... The best I can do is be there with as they try to create answers for themselves." Readers of Caitlin Doughty and Lori Gottlieb will be fascinated. (Apr.)
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Review by Kirkus Book Review
A poetic, inspiring book about how embracing our mortality allows us to find our deepest selves and truly connect with others. Arthur has answered a unique calling: helping dying people come to terms with their imminent passing. As a "death doula," she has helped countless people during the end of their lives, and each of them has taught her something. She trained for the role, but it is her natural empathy that has made her exceptionally good at what she does, whether the dying person is facing the end with calm grace or fighting hard against the failing light. In fact, it is in their final hours when many people are at their best, showing the truth of their souls and accepting the failures, successes, secrets, and regrets of their lives. Arthur also helps bereaved families and friends with both the emotional strain of losing a loved one and the often complex bureaucratic processes of death. Her path to her vocation was not easy, with personal losses, some failed relationships, and a protracted stint of depression along the way. Arthur suggests that these experiences have made it easier to understand and help others, a view that has the ring of truth to it. There is an undeniable poignancy to her accounts of the passing of her clients, although the sadness is often tinged with courage and strength. "With the dizzying serendipity that must occur for us to be born, the fact that we live is a miracle….This is what I wish for all of us: a life that feels like the miracle it is and a death that serves as a period on a satisfying sentence," writes the author. "Because we live, we get to die. That is a gift." Arthur's powerful memoir underlines the value of every life. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
