On marriage

Devorah Baum

Book - 2023

"As far back as our history books go, we have no record of a time preceding marriage. Isn't that an extraordinary fact?" So writes Devorah Baum in this searching and revelatory book. Marriage, for better or for worse, is how humans have organized their world and told their story. Straight, queer, coupled, single: none live outside the remit of marriage. One might as well try to live beyond language. But when confronted with the question "What do intellectuals think of marriage?" Baum concludes that most philosophers have preferred to avoid the subject. Is marriage then an intellectual blind spot? To fill in the gaps, she draws on a wide range of cultural material, from the classical to the contemporary, while inter...weaving reflections on her own experiences of matrimony to both critique and celebrate marriage's many contradictions and its profound effects on us all. In doing so, she reveals how marriage has worked as a cover story for power and its abuses on the one hand, and for subversive and even utopian relational practices on the other. Entertaining, illuminating, consoling, and candid, On Marriage is an unprecedented investigation of what we are really talking about when we talk about marriage. --Publisher's description.

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Subjects
Published
New Haven : Yale University Press 2023.
Language
English
Main Author
Devorah Baum (author)
Physical Description
x, 323 pages ; 23 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographical references (pages 317-323) and filmography (page 324).
ISBN
9780300271935
  • Marriage as Philosophy
  • 1. Are You Thinking About Marriage?
  • 2. The Veil (a cover story in seven parts)
  • Marriage as Creation
  • 3. Natural Selection
  • 4. Creative Accounting
  • Marriage as Conversation
  • 5. What We Talk About When We Talk About Marriage
  • 6. Conversation Pieces
  • i. The Deed is Done
  • ii. What Do Women Want?
  • iii. Best Intentions
  • Marriage as Entertainment
  • 7. Co-watching
  • 8. Romantic Comedy
  • Marriage as Religion
  • 9. My Heart Belongs to Daddy
  • 10. Holy Matrimony
  • Marriage as Afterlife
  • 1. Divorcing
  • 12. Obscenes from a Marriage
  • Epilogue
  • Acknowledgements
  • Permissions
  • Bibliography
Review by Kirkus Book Review

A comprehensively researched, wry examination of the many dimensions of marriage and how it has evolved. Baum begins with the odd assertion that there has not been much intellectual analysis of marriage, and she proceeds to round up the work of philosophers, novelists, filmmakers, and even comedians on the subject. It makes for fascinating reading, and the author punctuates the story with vignettes and commentary about her own marriage, which gives the research a personal touch. She brings an engaging element of humor to the proceedings; in fact, her sense of fun was revealed in her 2017 book, The Jewish Joke. As a professor of literature, she seems to have read everything connected to marriage, from Shakespeare's tragedies to Nora Ephron's novels. She organizes the book in sections dealing with marriage as an ongoing conversation, marriage as entertainment, the religious underpinnings, and the tricky subject of divorce. The institution of marriage goes back centuries, and although it has sometimes been attacked as a way to lock women into a cage of domesticity, it continues to thrive. Matrimony is a life goal for most people and is widely seen as the best structure for a family. A problem is that it is a long-term commitment, and when the early glow of romance fades, the participants realize there is a long road ahead. Some people can travel it successfully, while others cannot. One thing is certain: It never turns out to be like a rom-com; it is always messier and harder and involves more housework. Still, Baum accepts that it is for her (she is married to director and screenwriter Josh Appignanesi), and for many others. Marriage, she concludes, "continues to carry and shape our human story," and "we are likely to see it remaining with us long into the future, until death do us part." A rollicking account about marriage in books, movies, and culture, told with authority and genuine warmth. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.