The secret to getting along (and why it's easier than you think) 3 steps to life-changing conflict resolution

We're surrounded by conflicts at home, at work, online, and in our neighborhoods. Attorney Hartley, who operates a "private mediation practice that centers on alternative dispute resolution," has spent years studying what works and doesn't work in resolving these conflicts. Conflicts can spark growth rather than resentment if handled sensitively, according to the author. Her answer is the YES Method, which stands for understanding Your role, seeking out the Emotional story behind the conflict, and Shelving heated conversations. The author is straightforward and accessible as she describes each step, offering her own or her clients' experiences as illustrations. Focusing on the "why" rather than the "what" of heated encounters, Hartley urges readers to listen carefully and respond rather than react, keeping tempers intact and communications open. Often a small change in habits or a pause to step away from the argument can save the relationship. Prompts for journaling and other exercises help readers evaluate their own styles and encourage reflection, and each chapter ends with takeaways. This practical volume is sure to find an audience.

Even though most people abhor conflict, it persists in society. Hartley (Better Apart), a lawyer and professional mediator, provides a three-step technique called the YES method to assist readers in addressing discord. The book's first three sections examine the three elements of the YES method: Your role; Emotional story; and Shelving heated situations/conversations. The concluding section considers whether this method can help when facing particular conflicts. Hartley makes valid observations and suggestions about how to best handle disagreements with others. She notes that most people are terrible listeners and that communication failures result in unnecessary friction. Hartley stresses that individuals should practice inner quieting and "won't power" to refrain from acrimonious behavior, as one's inner narrative can influence how they react to particular situations or disputes. Chapters offer writing exercises, breathing techniques, positive-affirmation strategies, and suggestions for further reading to assist readers in viewing conflicts as opportunities rather than catastrophes. The author recognizes that this book may not solve all conflicts, some of which may require professional therapy. VERDICT This book offers methods to address conflicts in all life's areas (work, family, friendships). Recommended for anyone seeking to achieve accord or successful resolutions in the face of opposition.--Erica Swenson Danowitz