Don't call me home A memoir

Alexandra Auder

Book - 2023

"A moving and wickedly funny memoir about one woman's life as the daughter of a Warhol superstar, and the intimate bonds of mother-daughter relationships Alex Auder's life began at the Chelsea Hotel--New York City's infamous bohemian hangout--when her mother, Viva, a longtime resident of the hotel and one of Andy Warhol's superstars, went into labor in the lobby. These first moments of Alex's life, documented by her filmmaker father, Michel Auder, portended the whirlwind childhood and teen years that Alex would go on to have. At the center of it all is Viva: a glamorous, larger-than-life woman with mercurial moods, who brings Alex with her on the road from gig to gig, splitting time between a home in Connecticu...t and Auder's father's loft in 1980s Tribeca, back again to the Chelsea hotel, and spending summers with Viva's upper-middle-class, conservative, hyperpatriarchal family of origin. In Don't Call Me Home, Auder meditates on the seedy glory of her childhood being raised by two counterculture icons, from walking a pet goat around Chelsea and joining the Squat Theatre company to coparenting her younger sister, Gaby, with her mother in the Chelsea Hotel and partying in East Village nightclubs. Flitting between this world and her present-day life as a yoga instructor, actor, mother, wife, and much-loved Instagram provocateur, Auder weaves a stunning, moving, and hilarious portrait of a family, and what it means to move away from being your mother's daughter into being a person of your own"--

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  • Part 1. Place to Place: 1971-1980
  • Chapter 1. The Beginning
  • Chapter 2. Family Diaries
  • Chapter 3. On the Road
  • Chapter 4. The River
  • Chapter 5. Argentina
  • Chapter 6. On the Road Again
  • Chapter 7. Tribeca
  • Chapter 8. Connecticut and Tribeca
  • Chapter 9. The River
  • Part 2. The Chelsea: 1980-1985
  • Chapter 10. The State of Things
  • Chapter 11. As the World Turns
  • Chapter 12. Birth
  • Chapter 13. Martyrs
  • Chapter 14. Press
  • Chapter 15. I Spit on Your Grave
  • Chapter 16. Stolen Time
  • Chapter 17. G-Spot
  • Chapter 18. The River
  • Part 3. The Outer World: 1986-1989
  • Chapter 19. The Bump
  • Chapter 20. The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane
  • Chapter 21. Neptune
  • Chapter 22. "Run for Your Life"
  • Chapter 23. The Dent
  • Chapter 24. The Hour of Regret and Remorse
  • Acknowledgments
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

Actor and performance artist Auder debuts with an enthralling account of her childhood and adolescence living in the Chelsea Hotel with her mother, Andy Warhol superstar Viva, and sister, actor Gaby Hoffman. Auder's narrative features cameos from downtown New York artists including her father, filmmaker Michel Auder, and stepmother, photographer Cindy Sherman, but the core is Auder's messy, chaotic relationship with Viva. As a child, Auder fended off the hotel management's demands for late rent, served as Hoffman's caretaker, and acted as her mother's confidante and adviser on everything from cosmetic surgery to romance. At times, the author's love for her mother "burned the inside of my chest," and at others, she longed to "hit her over the head with a cast-iron frying pan." Auder braids these recollections with a present-day Christmas celebration shared with an 80-year-old Viva, after Auder has had children of her own, ultimately agreeing with her mother that "raising a daughter does feel like a crucifixion." Funny, bracing, and compulsively readable, Auder's memoir resists juicy gossip in favor of hard-won truths. This story of fraught but unbreakable bonds between mothers and daughters is a gem. Agent: Marya Spence, Janklow & Nesbit Assoc. (Apr.)

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Review by Library Journal Review

This memoir from actress, producer, and survivor Auder, oldest daughter of one of Andy Warhol's superstars Viva Hoffmann, is surprisingly candid and scorchingly observant. Auder entered the world on film: her father, French filmmaker Michel Auder, recorded the event, from Hoffman contracting in the Chelsea Hotel lobby to the birth hours later in the hospital. After her parents split, Auder and her mother and later, her half-sister, actress Gaby Hoffmann, lived a seemingly adventuresome bohemian life in New York City. As a child and teen, Auder hung out with downtown New York's finest and most outlandish, traveled with her bright and unstable mother from Chelsea to Connecticut, California, Mexico, and the Hoffmann family compound, where high drama and family fights were daily occurrences, and contended with her mother's many moods. Escape to her father's Tribeca loft was no less confusing. He fought drug addiction for many years and often left the parenting duties to his wife, artist Cindy Sherman. Despite all this dysfunction, or perhaps because of it, Auder carved out a life of her own, with a supportive husband and two kids. VERDICT With humor, love, and some giddiness, Auder tells her singular survival story.--Liz French

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Review by Kirkus Book Review

A memoir by the daughter of Warhol superstar Viva and big sister of actor Gaby Hoffmann. "I'm certain that if she and the Dalai Lama were locked in a cell together, and she turned the screw on him, he would crack within the hour," writes Auder about her mother. "He might even kill her because he has been kowtowed to his whole life and never forced to contend with a Viva. I've always suspected I'm more patient and loving than the great masters because I've been in a cell with her for a lifetime and have physically attacked her only twice." Auder's vibrant memoir of her larger-than-life mother alternates between the present, as she and her husband and child host the aged diva at their home in Philadelphia, and her roller-coaster childhood. The author, a performance artist and actor, spent much of that time living frugally at the Chelsea Hotel and hanging out around the corner at the Squat Theatre. Her childhood also featured regular visits to her mother's family home on the St. Lawrence River. Auder's vivid writing illuminates a deep and sparkling trove of storytelling riches. Especially memorable is her description of her mother's meeting of her father, which occurred "on the streets of Paris, just after she'd filmed the sex scene in Warhol's Blue Movie that would make her both superstar and criminal"--and just before "she and Michel made off for Rome (both draped in ruffled silk shirts, jewel-toned velvet blazers, capes, beaded necklaces, and chunky silver bracelets) to make their own movie." In Quebec, Viva's extended family sometimes devolved into bloody brawling; other times, the author's five tall, slender aunts, dressed in tiny crocheted bikini bottoms, flocked sweetly around her like birds. In the acknowledgements, Auder reveals that she has "been writing versions of this memoir for over twenty-five years." The work has paid off. Auder makes the most of her magnificent mess of material, celebrating her bohemian upbringing and her crazy mother in style. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.