Do hard things Why we get resilience wrong and the surprising science of real toughness

Performance coach Magness (The Passion Paradox) delivers a sensible guide to sticking with one's goals. Citing research in neuroscience and psychology, the author outlines how readers can overcome obstacles using his "four pillars of real toughness": "embrace reality," "listen to your body," "respond instead of react," and "transcend discomfort." Magness illustrates the importance of facing reality and accepting one's limits by telling the story of rock climber Alex Honnold, who aborted a challenging climb when he wasn't feeling up to it. To better control how one responds to adversity, the author advises creating "space between the stimulus and response so that we can better navigate what's going on," describing how brain imaging of experienced meditators shows that they can master their response to pain and lessen its mental toll. On transcending discomfort, Magness details studies that found internal motivation produces stronger perseverance than external rewards, and he encourages leaders to cultivate their followers' inner drives by offering support and room to grow. The author's nuanced approach elevates this program above similar guides, with recommendations to set "appropriate" goals and know "when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em" offering a welcome alternative to the traditional emphasis on "pushing through." Informative and entertaining, this has the power to help readers go the extra mile. (June)