Exalted A novel

Dorn (Vagablonde) returns with a hilarious and surprising chronicle of astrology packed with sharp cultural commentary. Dawn, a recently dumped Leo with a drinking problem and a penchant for arson, alternates between quoting her court-appointed therapist and astrology memes from @Exalted, her favorite Instagram account. The page is run by Emily, a Scorpio and failed actor who spends her afternoons at a burlesque club and tries to do enough online chart readings to scrape together the rent. When Emily receives a request for a reading from a man named Beau Rubidoux, she is shocked to find that his astrological placements are "exalted," astrology-speak for ideal. Despite the fact that Emily believes astrology is a "scam" yet still "divine" (blame it on her Gemini moon--"so ideologically chaotic"), she becomes convinced Beau is the love of her life. Meanwhile, Dawn drinks too much, overstays her welcome at various gay bars and friends' houses, and keeps tabs on @Exalted. Told from the alternating perspectives of Dawn and Emily, this salacious trip barrels through Southern California as the two women's startling connection is finally revealed. The narrative conveys a deep knowledge of astrology, which the characters skewer with sharp-witted observations ("Freud," Emily claims, "is just Astrology for men"). Compulsively readable, this consistently shocks and delights. Agent: Sarah Phair, Sanford J. Greenburger Assoc. (June)

The lives of a struggling millennial astrologer and one of her Gen X fans intersect in a shocking way. Emily Forrest operates the uber-popular Instagram astrology account Exalted, but in real life, her rent isn't paid and she lives on blue Gatorade, turkey slices, saltines, and as much weed as she can scam from her clueless ex-boyfriend Thomas, all the while obsessed with the mysterious Beau Rubidoux, a photographer with a perfectly exalted chart--"placements where the sign can achieve its highest potential." Emily insists astrology is a scam, merely generalizations designed to flatter us, and yet she still falls prey to its allure. "The thing is: I have a Gemini moon, and that allows me to hold two contradictory ideas at once," she says. Dawn is a down-and-out Gen Xer with borderline personality disorder and a regrettable tendency to send horrible texts to ex-girlfriends and her estranged son whenever she drinks. Their paths first cross when Dawn pays Emily to read her astrology chart. Both women are living the opposite of exalted lives: lonely, broke, and self-loathing, if for somewhat different reasons. Emily lies to her friends and family so they'll like her more; Dawn has sabotaged every relationship in her life by saying the most awful things possible. Luckily, their sharp humor and self-awareness save them from being insufferable even as they say and do terrible things. Like the planets of the zodiac, the two women orbit each other, leading to a toe-curlingly awkward finale that's as funny as it is cringeworthy. Ultimately, this is a story about seeking--money, fame, fate, and most importantly, human connection; with prose as delightfully moody as its heroines, it's cynical yet strangely uplifting. A caustic yet charming snapshot of contemporary digital life. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.