Review by Booklist Review
Because benzodiazepines like Ativan and Valium are addictive, it's a bad idea to take them for long periods of time. In 2010, Bond, a journalist and mom with two very young kids, including one with Down syndrome, starts taking Ativan for insomnia. She gets hooked. She blogs about it and gets interviewed by ABC World News Tonight for a piece that never airs. Over time, she grows skinnier and weaker, and she and her husband drift apart. She switches doctors and takes Valium because it stays in the body longer and causes a less severe "freak-out" when she tries to withdraw. At the close of her memoir, with her kids ages 11 and 12, Bond admits that she still takes 5 milligrams of Valium nightly. At least she's alive, unlike Soundgarden lead singer Chris Cornell, whose death was ruled a suicide but whose wife sued the doctor who gave him so very many Ativan prescriptions. Bond's story, with lines like "the blood orange night turns red and screams through my eyes," is an eloquent cautionary tale.
From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review
In this raw and captivating debut, journalist Bond chronicles her volatile descent into a benzodiazepine addiction. During her pregnancy with her second child, Chloe, Bond developed extreme insomnia, sometimes sleeping as little as an hour a night. Struggling, simultaneously, to care for an infant with Down syndrome, she relied on Ambien to help her sleep, until she met "Dr. Amazing," who, after Chloe's birth in 2010, prescribed Ativan, a benzodiazepine. " 'Take these,' my doctor told me," Bond recalls. "Frantic for sleep, I took them month after month, my mouth wide-open like a hungry carp." After her doctor began ratcheting up her doses, Bond realized she was in the grip of a full-blown addiction: "I was simply following my doctor's orders. I was in a free fall." In lucid flashbacks--one particularly haunting scene sees her blacking out while driving with her children in the car--she details the hellish recovery process ("a year and a half clawing in the underworld") that counted her marriage among its casualties. Pairing her unsparing candor with the same deep compassion she finds in the physician who helped her level out, Bond's narrative casts a burning light onto the hazards of overprescribing and the threat it poses to vulnerable people. This cautionary tale stuns. (June)
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Review by Library Journal Review
Author and narrator Bond's story starts off so well: man of her dreams, wedding, pregnancy. But things soon start to change. Her firstborn son is diagnosed with Down syndrome; her job is a casualty of the 2008 recession; and her second child arrives soon after. Her doctor prescribes Ativan because she's stressed out and unable to sleep, and she still struggles, then bumps up the dosage. She collapses while holding her daughter and learns that she has a benzodiazepine addiction. Quitting is not going to be easy--if not managed properly, withdrawal can be fatal. Bond's story about the journey to sobriety and the challenges it holds is one that is not as commonly known but is very real for many. VERDICT This cautionary tale about dependence on and addiction to benzodiazepines (which include Xanax, Klonopin, and Valium) is very timely. Bond's voice is strong and real and the perfect choice to narrate the audio book. Strongly recommended for public libraries of all sizes.--Gretchen Pruett
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Review by Kirkus Book Review
A harrowing memoir about a class of drugs as dangerous as opioids. Making her book debut, journalist and poet Bond, a blogger for Mad in America, recounts her unintended overuse of popularly prescribed benzodiazepine drugs, which led to addiction and a long, painful process of withdrawal. In 2009, pregnant with her second child and caring for an infant son with Down syndrome, Bond experienced weeks of insomnia that left her physically and emotionally exhausted. "After nine weeks," she writes, "my hands begin to shake. There's the feeling of being broken, of the head and body not being connected. Some puppeteer jangles my legs, my head." After the first trimester, her doctor finally prescribed Ambien, assuring her that it would be safe for her nursing infant and growing fetus. At first, Bond was relieved: Ambien worked. Soon, however, the effects sharply diminished. The author learned only later that the medical literature advised taking benzos only occasionally, for a few weeks; she kept swallowing Ambien for months. After her daughter's birth, her doctor substituted Ativan, another benzodiazepine. Each time its effects stopped, the doctor increased the dose and then added Xanax. Still suffering from insomnia, Bond experienced other symptoms as well: memory loss, olfactory hallucinations, fainting, nausea, digestive problems, and depression, which became exacerbated when she tried to taper the dose. A frantic internet search revealed information that startled her: She was undergoing active drug withdrawal, much more severe with benzos than with opioids. "While the physical withdrawal of opioids is safely done in seven to ten days," she writes, "benzo withdrawal can be ten times that long." Furthermore, sudden withdrawal can be fatal. Bond's anguish affected her relationships with friends and family (her mother had been an addict) and especially with her husband. Marital stress added to her despair, as did her frustration in finding medical help. Bond's sharp critique of big pharma and the broken American health care system sounds an urgent alarm. A vivid chronicle of suffering. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
