Review by Booklist Review
Allie had never been serious about the suicide pact she and her big sister, Leah, had created when their parent's fights became unbearable. But after Leah takes a fatal overdose of pills, Allie is forced to look back and ask herself how she didn't see how much pain her sister was in, and why she had been left out of Leah's decision. This story proves to be a well-written portrait, not just of grief but also of the pain of realizing you didn't really know someone you thought you were close to. Ramey's haunting novel is reminiscent of Jennifer Brown's Hate List (2009), with similar themes of devastating hindsight, and Gayle Forman's I Was Here (2015), which also captures the desperation to make sense of a loved one's suicide. Allie's own prescription-drug abuse is handled well, with the consequences physical and emotional laid out clearly without getting too preachy. A heavy but powerful read that tackles big topics without letting them drag the narrative down.--Horan, Molly Copyright 2016 Booklist
From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.
Review by Kirkus Book Review
In the aftermath of her sister's suicide, Allie's grief is thick and relentless. Allie adored her older sister, Leah. What with boyfriend troubles, their mom's Xanax addiction, and their dad's affair, the sisters had a pact that they would die together if things ever got too awful. Now, Allie is reeling from her sister's solo fatal overdose, and she's not coping well. The story reads like Go Ask Alice, as, page to page, Allie's swigging NyQuil or swallowing yet another pill. She's constantly drifting in a haze of queasy highs and nauseous lows. Frequent ghostly visitations from her dead sister seem to lead Allie ever deeper into drug use and further from reality. As Allie learns the many sordid secrets of her sister's concealed life, she begins to understand the powerful influence her sister had on her and, a talented painter, struggles to find her own voice. Allie's fraught inner monologues and hallucinated conversations with her sister succeed in illustrating Allie's emotional struggle. As if her own struggles aren't enough, Allie's flat, present-tense narration recounts additional teen drama, such as friends' squabbles and sexual dalliances, and much of the dialogue feels scripted: "Don't push me away. I didn't mean it. I don't love her like." An earnest, overstuffed look at the collateral damage of suicide and drug abuse. (Fiction. 13-18) Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
