Forget prayers, bring cake A single woman's guide to grieving

Gerson debuts with an illuminating memoir-cum-guide to dealing with grief as a single woman. Gerson grounds her advice in her experience of dealing with the death of her father, who suffered from a fatal brain disease, while moving and renovating a house on the other side of the country: "It is you, first and foremost, who gets to be your partner through your grief, and for the rest of your life." To assuage suffering, she recommends creating a routine, connecting with one's spirituality (included are prayer routines for multiple religions), and setting boundaries on what one's "physical, mental, and emotional capacity will be used and for what purpose." Gerson's affirming message nudges readers toward identifying what they need for themselves, no matter how much it differs from the advice they may be given: "Whatever it is you need to mourn, you have my permission." Gerson's willingness to explore the depth and breadth of personal loss will help those grieving know they are not alone. (Sept.)

Gerson (an intergenerational trauma consultant on the set of Amazon's hit show Transparent) is no stranger to grief. Here she reflects on grieving as a single person, drawing on her training in inherited trauma and her own grief after the death of her father. Through lenses both professional and personal, she describes working her way through anguish at the loss, while living alone and moving to a new city; there's particular attention to practicalities like paying bills, and interpersonal matters like maintaining (or not maintaining) romantic relationships. One of her most significant suggestions is to memorialize the dead via a ritual of one's own making (writing, making photo montages--anything that bridges the past and the future). VERDICT An excellent resource for readers dealing with grief or trauma on their own.--Deborah Bigelow, Director Emerita, Leonia P.L., NJ