The how : notes on the great work of meeting yourself

The how Notes on the great work of meeting yourself

Yrsa Daley-Ward

Book - 2021

"From the acclaimed poet behind bone, an exploration of how we can meet our truest selves, the ones we've always been meant to become Yrsa Daley-Ward's words have resonated with hundreds of thousands of readers--through her books of poetry and memoir, bone and The Terrible; through her writing for Beyoncé on Black Is King; and through her always illuminating Instagram posts. Now, in The How, Yrsa encourages readers to begin, as she puts it, the great work of meeting ourselves. This isn't the self we've built up in response to our surroundings, or the self we manufacture to please the people around us, but instead, our most intimate self, the one we visit in dreams, the one that calls to us from a glimmering future.... With a mix of short lyrical musings and her signature stunning poetry, Yrsa gently takes readers by the hand, encouraging them to join her as she explores how we can remove our filters, and see and feel more of who we really are behind the preconceived notions of propriety and manners we've accumulated with age. With a beautiful design and intriguing meditations, The How can be used to start conversations, to prompt writing, to delve deeper--whether you're solo, or with friends, on your feet or writing from the solace of home"--

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Subjects
Self-actualization (Psychology)
Mind and body.
Self-help publications.
Genres
Self-help publications
Published
[New York, New York] : Penguin Books, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC [2021]
Language
English
Main Author
Yrsa Daley-Ward (author)
Physical Description
xxxi, 155 pages ; 19 cm
ISBN
9780143135609
  • Introduction
  • Where you are, what you want
  • But listen, your life is telling you what it needs
  • Why is everything work?
  • The swing of things
  • All our best lessons are circles
  • Milestones and other cons
  • If we were different, we'd be perfect
  • Outside in
  • Let's talk about the water
  • The god of the rainbow
  • Save yourself
  • The war, the bloody war
  • Site beauty
  • Tomorrow (as we know it) is never promised
  • How to maintain equilibrium
  • Body as tremendous temporary home
  • Only dreaming
  • When awakening
  • Find me in the morning
  • Mind violence
  • Even the greatest love is work
  • The desire behind the desire
  • Beginning
  • Ending
  • Truthwork
  • Why we write it down
  • The three percent
  • You are not the only one
  • Blessed expertise
  • And are you lonely?
  • Not the end of the day
  • Bad news that is (sometimes) good news
  • When nothing works
  • One last thing.
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

Poet Daley-Ward (bone) wonders, "In a world so filled with voice, how to ever be sure of your own?" in this gratifying exploration of self. Daley-Ward excels at describing the indescribable: depression is referred to as "the thing that lurks" and loneliness is "a mix of several unspecified, blue things." To deal with these and other negative feelings, she practices self-care by spending time alone, saying, " 'Selfish' has horrible press, and yet this inward focus, this business of feeling good, is vital when it comes to the wealth of the mind." She draws inspiration from the magic of the universe and the power of nature, which Daley-Ward suggests teaches "the largest acts of love" because "it shows us itself again and again and asks us for nothing." This work defies genre and features a beautiful blend of lyrical prose and bold poetry: "We are human, and often we think of ourselves as lone, separate entities, forgetting that we are connected to this odd and expanding universe, forgetting that we are part of something vast and unexplained." Amid her musings, Daley-Ward also weaves in affirmations and prompts for self-reflection. This is a tender, hopeful meditation. (Nov.)

(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved
Review by Library Journal Review

Poet Daley-Ward (The Terrible; Bone) urges readers to rediscover and redefine their own true desires and aspirations. The how is about removing the filters of others and meaningless activities to find what personally resonates. Daley-Ward offers encouragements, questions for journaling, and meditations to help unearth one's true essence. A particularly interesting exercise asks readers to think about the music, books, and poetry they like, and identify the main themes that run through them to find insight into their lives. VERDICT Ideal for writing prompts for solo journaling or for self-realization discussions.

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Review by Kirkus Book Review

A heartfelt, artful manifesto focused on living fully and authentically. Poet Daley-Ward addresses readers directly and speaks for them collectively, in addition to sharing her own experiences, in an earnest effort to offer them a reflection of themselves as well as their potential. "We must know," she begins, "there are no truths but the ones that we arrive at on our own." This admittedly indirect path--what she describes as "the great work of meeting yourself"--defines this book. The author includes exercises and affirmations designed to help readers examine and redefine "what we think life is all about…what we think work is, and to release the idea that we must suffer and struggle for the things that we want." She addresses feelings such as restlessness, dissatisfaction, anxiety, depression, insecurity, isolation, romance, self-compassion, gratitude, and grief, proposing solutions such as simplifying, writing down one's dreams, and taking time every day away from the phone. She suggests myriad practices of self-inquiry to attune readers to their inner wisdom and joy. "If you are not spiritually fit right now," she warns, "running anywhere else is pointless. The next place will never save you." Other tidbits of advice include: "Just be more you: that's the solution"; "We should always be letting go"; "You have to save yourself and worry about the rest later"; "Expression is relief, and surefire medicine." Throughout this slim book, the author strikes a balance between self-help and confession. For example, when she shares her own knowledge that she can never look to anything external as a way out of herself--although that doesn't stop her from trying--she opens up space for readers to reflect on their own accounts of avoidance and/or real desires. She creates connections, much like a circuit closing, and invites her audience on a voyage of self-discovery. By turns simplistic, elegiac, and illuminative. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

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