Special topics in being a human A queer and tender guide to things I've learned the hard way about caring for people, including myself

S. Bear Bergman, 1974-

Book - 2021

"S. Bear Bergman's illustrated guide to practical advice for the modern age, filtered through a queer lens. As an author, educator, and public speaker, S. Bear Bergman has documented his experience as, among other things, a trans parent, with wit and aplomb. He also writes the advice column "Asking Bear," in which he answers crucial questions about how best to make our collective way through the world. Featuring disarming illustrations by Saul Freedman-Lawson, Special Topics in Being a Human elaborates on "Asking Bear"'s premise: a gentle, witty, and insightful book of practical advice for the modern age. It offers Dad advice and Jewish bubbe wisdom, all filtered through a queer lens, to help you navigate ...some of the complexities of life - from how to make big decisions or make a good apology, to how to get someone's new name and pronouns right as quickly as possible, to how to gracefully navigate a breakup. With warmth and candor, Special Topics in Being a Human calls out social inequities and injustices in traditional advice-giving, validates your feelings, asks a lot of questions, and tries to help you be your best possible self with kindness, compassion, and humour."--

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Subjects
Genres
Nonfiction comics
Graphic novels
Self-help publications
Published
Vancouver : Arsenal Pulp Press [2021]
Language
English
Main Author
S. Bear Bergman, 1974- (author)
Other Authors
Saul Freedman-Lawson (illustrator)
Physical Description
271 pages : chiefly color illustrations ; 26 cm
Issued also in electronic format
ISBN
9781551528540
  • Introduction
  • 1. How to Make Big Decisions in a Way That Matches Your Values
  • 2. How to Tell People Things They Very Probably Won't Be Happy to Hear, at Least at First
  • 3. How to Keep Firmly and Everlastingly in Mind That Doing Nothing Isn't Neutral
  • 4. How to Give the Kind of Help That Helping's All About (and Not the Kind We All Can Do Without)
  • 5. How to Avoid Getting Your Upset All Over Other People When You Feel Out of Control
  • 6. How to Love Someone with Your Words, Actions, and Priorities (in Addition to Your Feelings, Which I'm Sure Are Very Nice)
  • 7. How to Apologize (Properly, Not like a Republican Congressman)
  • 8. How to Have a Disagreement, or Even an Argument, without Having a Fight
  • 9. How to Be Reasonably Graceful When a Relationship Has Ended, Even If You Feel Wretched
  • 10. How to Take Criticism (and How to Tell What's Criticism and What's Just a Pointless insult)
  • 11. How to Take a Compliment Sometimes (No One Is Reading Your Diary; We All Struggle with This)
  • 12. How to Get Someone's New Name and/or Pronouns Right, Every Time, Sooner Than You Think
  • 13. How to Increase a Sense of Safety for Women and Other People with Marginalized Genders Whom You Encounter in Daily Life
  • 14. How to Be Bad at Things but Do Them Anyway
  • 15. How to Be a Useful Ally or Co-Resister to Actual People Whom You Support
  • 16. How to Keep Going When You Just Want More Than Anything to Stop, for G-d's Sake
  • 17. How to Be Yourself
  • Acknowledgments
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

This delightful, neatly intersectional graphic compendium of advice tailored to a variety of situations--such as "How to Apologize (Properly, Not Like a Republican Congressman)"--lands as so down-to-earth that few readers will mind that it's telling them what to do. Bergman (Blood, Marriage, Wine and Glitter), of the web advice column "Asking Bear," approaches his mission with humility, humor, and practicality. Each section contains numbered steps, considerations of context, and illustrations showcasing a refreshing range of human bodies. The artwork by Freedman-Lawson includes some examples drawn from the co-creators' real lives, such as in "How to Have a Disagreement, or Even an Argument, Without Having a Fight," where Bergman advises that so much of marital dispute heats up from delivery versus the facts of debate--so in his marriage, they randomized which of the couple has to apologize about using a "tone" based on whether it's an even or odd day. In an especially charming section titled "How to Be Bad at Things but Do Them Anyway," Bergman does a stint as illustrator, with wobbly stick figures, while Freedman-Lawson writes "Unease... is likelier to be an indication that we need more practice than it is a harbinger of doom." Delivered with more than a spoonful of kindness, this medicine goes down easy and has the potential to facilitate real healing. (Oct.)Correction: An earlier version of this review incorrectly stated the co-creators of this book are married.

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