Review by Booklist Review
First the title: ¡Hola Papi! is the name of a gay advice column the author, a Mexican American, who is himself gay, writes for Substack, and these 14 autobiographical stories are offered as replies to invented questions from imagined writers to the column. Thus, a story about the horrors of Brammer's eighth-grade life (arguably the best piece in the collection) is prefaced by the question, "How do I let go of my childhood trauma?" Signed, Damaged Goods. Another, this one about how the author falls in love with his best friend and comes out to him in a Walmart parking lot--the second best--is prefaced with the question, "How do I let go of a rotten relationship?" Signed, Addicted to You. Speaking of addicted: readers are likely to become addicted to these stories; they're that good. Beautifully written ("each step was as heavy as a falling piano"), the stories run a gamut of emotions that readers will share. Some are wistful; some, melancholy; others, sad or poignant or bittersweet. The subjects of the stories--Brammer's quotidian life--are made fascinating with the author's deeply introspective musing and self-analysis. Brammer comes to know himself very well, and readers will be delighted to make his acquaintance, too.
From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review
LGBTQ advice columnist Brammer debuts with a frothy, episodic memoir written in the format of answers to such questions as "How do I make peace with the years I lost in the closet?" Brammer recounts his rural Oklahoma childhood, being bullied in middle school, and early sexual experiences, including a confusing relationship with a closeted Christian. He also discusses trying to reclaim his Mexican American heritage in high school by working at a Mexican restaurant and how coming out on Facebook "helped me work up the courage to admit it to myself." After encountering Grindr for the first time as a college junior "desperate for the knowledge... how to date and hook up and live as a gay person," Brammer eventually launched his advice column on the dating app in 2017. Though he has a genuine interest in helping others and frankly details a suicide attempt and other intimate matters, Brammer's writing regularly slips into clichés (his New York apartment is a "shoebox"; his abuela is "a very short, very brown woman" who watches telenovelas). Fans will appreciate a closer look at Brammer's life; others will wish for greater depth. (June)
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Review by Library Journal Review
There is an ease and charm to Brammer's writing that will make readers feel as though he is sitting beside them, regaling them with his often funny, increasingly insightful, sometimes heartbreaking tales. Using a question-and-answer format (Brammer's "¡Hola Papi!" began as a popular advice column on Grindr), this memoir touches on a myriad of topics, including what it means to feel authentically Mexican, surviving bullying, and the existence of "the one." With a combination of frankness and self-reflection, Brammer takes readers from his childhood in Oklahoma to his adulthood in Brooklyn and back again, recalling the situations and events that shaped and continue to shape him. This collection shines especially brightly whenever Brammer describes his coming-of-age experiences--figuring out his sexuality, as well as his efforts to grow into his career as a writer. As he does in his advice column, Brammer addresses readers directly, showing us the times he sought advice and the times he should have taken it. VERDICT Brammer's worldview is grounded in realism and self-deprecating humor; his book is likely to be a well-loved addition to any collection of personal essays or memoirs.--Rachel Rosenberg, North Vancouver District Lib., BC
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Review by Kirkus Book Review
Life counsel from an LGBTQ+ advice columnist. In his sassy, entertaining debut collection, Brooklyn-based author and illustrator Brammer doles out sage guidance for primarily gay male audiences through personal anecdotes and memories. He shares bold, unique perspectives on a variety of subjects, including his attempts to forgive a childhood bully, navigating the "hook-up" app culture, and acing the "serious mental gymnastics" involved in moving from a closeted kid to an out gay man. Brammer derived the name of his advice column from the first greeting he received on the Grindr app. From there, he gained in popularity as he began addressing a host of situational, sexual, relationship-oriented, and racially diversified issues within the LGBTQ+ and Latinx communities. The author humorously and candidly discusses his personal coming-out process and thirst for knowledge about the gay community, and his authentic voice will appeal to and resonate with readers navigating their own sexual identities. Brammer also writes about his mixed-race history as a Mexican American son of a "brown woman from Texas" and a "white man from Oklahoma" alongside a beloved abuela doling out tough love. For the author, school days were tough and lonely, the exact opposite of his parents' experiences at the same schools, where they were popular basketball superstars. Brammer also revisits decisions he made about working in Mexican restaurants in high school after recognizing that he "wasn't Mexican enough"--decisions his abuela disdained: "I was deliberately undermining all the hard work Abuela had put into making me white." As free-flowing commentary on identity, Latinx culture, and tradition commingle with Brammer's contemporary urban gay experience, the narrative is packed with illuminatingly frank perspectives. Some sections, which answer fan questions on how to dress "gayer," aren't nearly as impactful, but the sum of Brammer's life experiences will prove charming, instructional, and frequently relatable for his established readership and those seeking time-tested advice on contemporary conundrums within the gay community. Contemporary lighthearted wisdom (and some campy fun) for LGBTQ+ audiences. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
