Review by Booklist Review
Poet, writer, and cohost of the Thirst Aid Kit podcast, Perkins explores her sexuality amid social pressures placed on women, especially Black women, and how family, boyfriends, and pop culture helped shape her. Curious about sex from an early age, she also heeded the warnings not to be fast or get pregnant, especially since the only happy romances she saw in the media were white couples. She introduces three women she looked up to at different stages: her great-grandmother, her unbothered Aunt C, and her big sister. She talks about the powerful influence of music; Prince and Janet Jackson each get their own essays. She remembers an affair with a married man, and how difficult it is to keep men at arm's distance once they've had sex. Her Good Lover Radar shows up several times, rewarding her with good experiences. She also touches on her HBCU education, depression, Frasier and Kermit the Frog, BDSM, and her list for the perfect man. This is a funny, sexy, reverent, vulnerable meditation on Black women's sexuality through one woman's journey to her own hard-won power, a gift to memoir readers.
From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review
Perkins (Lilith, but Dark), a poet and former cohost of the Thirst Aid Kit podcast, examines religion, Black womanhood, desire, and sexuality in this powerful work of cultural criticism. She cleverly illustrates how pop culture has the power to shape, break, and illuminate the stories people tell about themselves and their intersecting identities. In one essay, "Kermit the Frog," she reflects on her childhood love of Miss Piggy, only to understand as an adult that the "felt porcine femme" was abusive toward Kermit and, in that way, created a warped mirror of the domestic violence she witnessed between her parents growing up. In "I Love Niles Crane," Perkins aspires to experience a divine love, in which a man "think my presence is a blessing from on high." Meanwhile, she connects her earliest feelings of desire to Prince's "Girl" ("the nastiest, sexiest song I'd ever heard in my life") and reminisces on how she learned "what was possible in Black college life" from the Cosby Show spin-off, A Different World. Writing from a place of humility and humor, Perkins paints an exuberant portrait of a Black woman speaking to and from her power. Tender and bright, this intimate work piques nonstop. Agent: Kiele Raymond, Thompson Literary (Aug.)
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Review by Library Journal Review
This engaging memoir by writer and poet Perkins (co-host of the podcast Thirst Aid Kit) offers a series of vignettes from different points in the author's life that together create a portrait of a person discovering her identity and power. Perkins embraces all the complicated experiences, thoughts, identities, and decisions that make her an individual with a unique voice, a person who celebrates her freedom and complexity as a Black woman. The book is billed as a reflection on pop culture (which is certainly an interesting element of the work), but sexuality is its most prominent theme. Perkins describes her sexual experiences with a great deal of candor and reflection. The book has no hard beginning or ending, but rather leaves readers with the understanding that the author's journey began long before this narrative and will continue long after. It's a book that's full of surprises, whether Perkins is reflecting on college memories or dating mishaps, and the beautiful writing and honesty will keep readers turning the pages to the very end. VERDICT Memoir readers who appreciate unpredictability, candor, and pop culture will enjoy this book and may very well find themselves thinking about it even weeks after they've finished it.--Sarah Schroeder, Univ. of Washington Bothell
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Review by Kirkus Book Review
A thoroughly enjoyable journey into the mind of a beloved pop-culture commentator. Perkins is a 2017 Audre Lorde fellow and host of This Is Good for You, a podcast for pleasure seekers. In this collection of essays, she interweaves pop-culture observations with deeply personal vignettes of self-discovery in a fickle and sometimes dangerous world. The author is unafraid to lay herself bare, and she boldly recounts the ups and downs of her life as a Black girl and woman. At the beginning of the book, Perkins recalls how, when she was 5, a naptime kissing bandit smooched her and other unsuspecting female classmates, waking her up to the power of femininity even then. Growing up during the 1980s and '90s in Nashville's Black community, she always had her nose in a book, seeking knowledge wherever she could find it. She struggled with her abusive, drug-addicted father, and while she looked up to her older sister, she also protected her autistic younger brother. Despite an early realization of the importance of pleasure, she was often at odds with her mind, battling depression and weight-related self-esteem issues. Her struggles often left her restless but never helpless, and part of the book includes a love letter to bygone days. Perkins describes how the Prince song "Girl" provided a sexual awakening, and she pays homage to Janet Jackson's "all-black uniform," which she learned was chosen so she could look slimmer. An unabashed fan of Frasier ("what I use as a regular antidepressant"), the author writes about her crush on Niles Crane and her online chat-room connections with others seeking safe, impersonal, but real digital camaraderie. Refreshingly, Perkins doesn't deliver a standard happily-ever-after ending. Nobody is coming to save her from her circumstances, and that's OK. She continues to strive and persevere by honing the ultimate secret weapons: self-acceptance and self-care. Fans will appreciate this closer look into Perkins' life and adventures, and newcomers will get to know her well. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
