I had a miscarriage A memoir, a movement

Psychologist Zucker delivers an illuminating discussion of miscarriage in her strikingly intimate debut memoir. A doctor specializing in reproductive and maternal mental health, Zucker miscarried her daughter during her fifth month of pregnancy in October 2012. Despite her own professional experience, grief "took over my body, seared my insides," and she sank into "an unnerving sense of vulnerability." In the aftermath, Zucker writes of being hurt by a friend who was revolted by a photograph Zucker showed her of her miscarried fetus, suffering from acute PTSD, and seeking help from a therapist who uncovered "visuals and physical feelings associated with death occurring in my body." She situates her own story within the bigger picture of miscarriage, noting that one in four pregnancies in the U.S. end in miscarriage (for an annual total of more than 3 million), and identifying "a strident trifecta" of silence, stigma, and shame that "obstruct conversations... and isolate those who experience it." For Zucker, comfort came in the form of a visit to Japan's Unborn Children Garden, which is "dedicated to those lost to miscarriage," and the birth of a second daughter, her "rainbow baby," in 2017. Zucker's story is a profound personal reflection, and her remarkable storytelling sheds new light on a difficult topic. Miscarriage survivors will find affirmation and hope in this stirring account. (Mar.)

A psychologist shares the intimate details of her miscarriage. During her second trimester, Zucker, whose work focuses on reproductive and maternal mental health, suffered a miscarriage at home. Based on her experiences with the silence, shame, and stigma that often surround this emotionally charged experience, she created the #IHadaMiscarriage campaign and wrote this memoir/manifesto to enable a broader discussion of the subject. The author is candid about the personal, frightening details of her loss, and she smoothly interweaves her moving story with the narratives of some of her clients, all of which are complex and worthy of examination. "Miscarriage, pregnancy, and infant loss is not just a 'woman's experience.' It does not discriminate. There is also no 'one way' to feel about these specific losses." As the author shows, while some women experience relief after a miscarriage, most feel a profound sense of loss and grief. Throughout the book, Zucker is attuned to diversity and the unique circumstances facing marginalized groups ("I want to acknowledge that my experience represents just that--my experience"), and her inclusive approach allows women to embrace their feelings and express them rather than hide them or diminish their significance. She discusses how important it is to accept the loss and yet not feel like a failure because it happened, and she consistently emphasizes its unfortunate prevalence ("One in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage--and that's just of the pregnancies that are known"). Zucker also writes about her need to name her child and chronicles her trip to Japan to discover "the unique ways Japanese culture acknowledges pregnancy loss." Given that so many pregnancies end without a successful birth, this book should serve as both balm and guidebook for those suffering from such loss. A contemplative, sensitive, and necessary work in the field of pregnancy and parenting. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.