Let's talk about hard things

Anna Sale

Book - 2021

Anna Sale wants you to have that conversation. You know the one. The one that you've been avoiding or putting off, maybe for years. The one that you've thought "they'll never understand" or "do I really want to bring that up?" or "It's not going to go well, so why even try?". Sale is the founder and host of WNYC's popular award-winning podcast Death, Sex, & Money, or as the New York Times dubbed her, "a therapist at happy hour". She and her guests have direct and thought-provoking conversations, discussing topics that most of us are too squeamish, polite, or nervous to bring up. But Sale argues that we all experience these hard things, and by not talking to one another, we... cut ourselves off, leading us to feel isolated and disconnected from the people who can help us most. In Let's Talk About Hard Things, Sale uses the best of what she's learned from her podcast to reveal that when we have the courage to talk about hard things, we learn about ourselves, others, and the world that we make together. Diving into five of the most fraught conversation topics - death, sex, money, family, and identity - she moves between memoir, fascinating snapshots of a variety of Americans opening up about their lives, and expert opinions to show why having tough conversations is important and how to do them in a thoughtful and generous way. She uncovers that listening may be the most important part of a tough conversation, that the end goal should be understanding without the pressure of reconciliation, and that there are some things that words can't fix (and why that's actually okay). Touching, personal, and inspiring, Let's Talk About Hard Things is a profound meditation on why communication can connect us instead of divide us and how we can all do it better.

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Subjects
Genres
Self-help publications
Published
New York : Simon & Schuster 2021.
Language
English
Main Author
Anna Sale (author)
Edition
First Simon & Schuster hardcover edition
Physical Description
ix, 288 pages ; 24 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographical references (pages 263-278) and index.
ISBN
9781501190247
  • Introduction
  • Death
  • Sex
  • Money
  • Family
  • Identity
  • Conclusion
  • Acknowledgments
  • Notes
  • Index
Review by Booklist Review

Expanding on her hit WNYC podcast, Death, Sex, & Money, journalist Sale urges readers to have difficult conversations about their lives. The book is divided into sections based on the most common areas of contention: death, sex, money, family, and identity. There are stories of divorce, the sudden loss of a young partner, alienation from one's immediate family, secret investments gone wrong, and the pain of systemic racism. The book elaborates on content that aired previously on her show and includes new interviews with friends and celebrities. Infusing it all with memoir, Sale is generous when divulging her tricky chats of yore, and always quick to acknowledge the privilege that has allowed her--a cis, heterosexual, married, white parent--to have some difficult conversations but not others. This book is a road map to navigating these sorts of conversations with friends and family, and even includes specific phrasing to try; it also offers a sense of solidarity. Simply bearing witness to the struggles of strangers is sure to leave readers feeling less alone.

From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

Sale, host of the podcast Death, Sex & Money, dives deep into "hard conversations" in her empathetic debut. Sale writes that talking openly about death, sex, money, family, and identity is crucial to understanding "how our experiences fit into broader patterns that we can learn from and take solace in," and she walks readers through the importance of discussing each topic. In "Death," she writes that acknowledging its inevitability can help the grieving and the dying "find companions in that pain." "Sex" covers an uncomfortable postpartum experience Sale had at an OB-GYN office and offers that "sex is one of the most potent ways we communicate with one another." In "Money," she encourages readers to discuss both the emotional and practical aspects of wealth, even when it seems more polite to stay quiet. In addition to her own experiences, Sale offers no shortage of outside perspectives through interviews with former podcast guests, friends, and psychologists (Brad Kontz, for example, breaks down personality types based on one's relationship with money). Fans of Sale's podcast will find a familiar guide in her reflective and introspective voice, and those encountering her for the first time will find this a comfort in hard times. Agent: Daniel Greenberg, Levine Greenberg Rostan Literary Agency. (May)

(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved
Review by Library Journal Review

Sale, host of the podcast Death, Sex, and Money, explores how we can talk about difficult situations in order to better connect with family, friends, and coworkers. This debut covers five topics--death, sex, money, family, and identity--which Sale explores via stories from her own life and by interviewing a racially and economically diverse group of people. The book also offers short scripts to help readers approach often-complex issues. When discussing death, she advises, pragmatic conversations should be separated from emotional talks. On sex, she writes, the dialogue can go beyond physical pleasure, to encompass trauma, morality, aging, and disability. She advises that conversations about money should recognize its emotional weight. Years-old issues and the intimacy of family can pose additional challenges; Sale advocates connecting with relatives through family stories. In discussions of identity, people with less power are often burdened with explaining their perspectives, Sale writes, and she emphasizes that privileged individuals should listen carefully in these conversations. Not to be mistaken for a self-help guide, Sale's book also analyzes the structural and cultural dynamics that impede meaningful conversations. VERDICT Besides listeners of her podcast, this will appeal to any adult struggling to broach these topics.--Chris Wilkes, Tazewell Cty. P.L., VA

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