Raceless In search of family, identity, and the truth about where I belong

Georgina Lawton

Book - 2021

"Raised in sleepy English suburbia, Georgina Lawton was no stranger to homogeneity. Her parents were white; her friends were white; there was no reason for her to think she was any different. But over time her brown skin and dark, kinky hair frequently made her a target of prejudice. In Georgina's insistently color-blind household, with no acknowledgement of her difference or access to black culture, she lacked the coordinates to make sense of who she was. It was only after her father's death that Georgina began to unravel the truth about her parentage--and the racial identity that she had been denied. She fled from England and the turmoil of her home-life to live in black communities around the globe--the US, the UK, Nicarag...ua, Cuba, the Dominican Republic, Vietnam, and Morocco--and to explore her identity and what it meant to live in and navigate the world as a black woman. She spoke with psychologists, sociologists, experts in genetic testing, and other individuals whose experiences of racial identity have been fraught or questioned in the hopes of understanding how, exactly, we identify ourselves. Raceless is an exploration of a fundamental question: what constitutes our sense of self? Drawing on her personal experiences and the stories of others, Lawton grapples with difficult questions about love, shame, grief, and prejudice, and reveals the nuanced and emotional journey of forming one's identity." --Amazon.ca.

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Subjects
Genres
Autobiographies
Published
New York : Harper Perenial [2021]
Language
English
Main Author
Georgina Lawton (author)
Edition
First U.S. edition
Item Description
"Also published in Great Britain in 2021 by Sphere, an imprint of Little, Brown Book Group" -- title verso
Physical Description
294 pages ; 21 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographical references (pages 289-294).
ISBN
9780063009486
  • 1. The Secret
  • 2. Restarting
  • 3. Don't Make a Fuss
  • 4. Wearing Someone Else's Face
  • 5. My Lot
  • 6. City Is a Pity
  • 7. Did You Lose Your Comb?
  • 8. Shame
  • 9. Time Traveling
  • 10. Passing
  • Acknowledgments
  • Notes
Review by Choice Review

Ed. Note: Choice considers racial justice a cornerstone of its mandate to support academic study. Accordingly, Choice is highlighting select racial justice titles through the creation of long-form reviews such as the one featured here. Though the scope of these reviews will be broader than those applied to our standard 190-word reviews, many of the guidelines regarding what to focus on will remain the same, with additional consideration for how the text under review sheds light on racist systems and racial inequities or proposes means of dismantling them. Our intent is to feature important works on racial justice that will be of use to undergraduates and faculty researching racism and racial inequalities from new perspectives. The quest to be seen, heard, recognized, acknowledged, and appreciated as we are symbolizes the core of human existence. In Raceless, Lawton uses her lived experience as the baseline to unravel the complex story of how she came to have "half a story, half an identity, and in many ways, half a life" (p. 18). Raceless is her journey to piece together her Black heritage, which had been deliberately obscured from her by her parents. Born out of infidelity resulting from her white mother's one-night stand with an unidentified Black man, she shares with readers her inner search for identity in the 21st century, a time when identity and belonging are of utmost importance. Currently host of The Secrets in Us podcast, Lawton is a journalist who has written for such outlets as The Guardian, VICE, and The Times (London), focusing on topics that deal with travel, culture, and identity. The experience of being a Black person raised in a white household and neighborhood is nothing new. White/Black interracial families and their mixed children have been on the rise since the late 1960s. What is bewildering is that Lawton's white parents deliberately misidentified and treated her as if she were white, leaving her unprepared for the external realities of racial prejudice. Certainly, Lawton's mother wanted her child, but she specifically wanted a white child. As a result, her mother's insistence on not "seeing" Lawton's color or accepting that she is mixed race conveyed to Lawton that her mother refused to engage with all parts of who she was, leaving her essentially invisible. To Lawton, not seeing racial differences was not only destabilizing and depressing, but part of a broader pattern of white privilege, racial hierarchy, and inequality, and a demonstration that there is something wrong with others who live with a racialized identity. Lawton argues compellingly that color-blind parenting "is a form of identity theft" that is damaging to mixed-race Black children (p. 89). Saying that one does not see a Black person's race is both a comfort and a discomfort, love and rejection all intertwined at once as an individual's appearance (including their color) must be acknowledged before any interaction. For instance, Lawton recounts how her own "[B]lackness walked into every room before [she] did" (p. 66). As the author highlights, a more appropriate form of color blindness must not mean color indifference, but rather a recognition and appreciation of the diversity of human colors with equal and equitable avenues for progress afforded to people of every color. Doing so would nurture the ingenuity and talents of every individual, strengthening society as a whole. Lawton is not arguing for a raceless society or a raceless future. Such a society would "mean the elimination of [B]lack people" due to the overwhelming political, military, and economic power of white people (p. 278). Instead, she is advocating for a future where all races are acknowledged in their diversity, where whiteness is decentered and white supremacy deconstructed, and where collective efforts are made to identify and dismantle the structures that have helped normalize the denial and erasure of minority groups and their identities. It is only when each race is valued, Lawton argues, that society can reach its greatest potential, a faint reminder of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s 1963 "I Have a Dream" speech. Within the educational system, where future generations might learn these progressive ideals, Lawton laments the absence of racial discourse. She points out that in Britain, discussions of race are ignored "in the hope that either they will go away[,] or we can simply overlook them" (p. 277). In the US, the rejection of Black identity and the refusal to acknowledge Black contributions to building the foundation of this nation can be seen at various levels, such as by the refusal of some conservative school districts to observe Black History Month in February, or their choice of history textbooks that teach little about minority contributions. At present, this rejection can also be seen in the uproar within conservative circles against the inclusion of simplified versions of the 1619 Project and critical race theory within K--12 school curricula. These rejections mask underlying fears that acknowledging Black Americans' contributions will expose the US's racist past, making white people feel uncomfortable about their role in subjugating Black identity, and forcing white students to draw inconvenient conclusions about racism's roots. Lawton's own struggle to contend with her racial identity is similarly fraught, though her hunt for her heritage and biological father is nothing new. When children of closed adoptions come of age, they often seek out their birth parents. However, what is striking in Lawton's personal account is that her family never acknowledged the clear differences in her physical appearance, relative to their own. Desiring to reduce her rage and sadness, restore emotional and psychological balance, and better understand and believe in who she is, Lawton walks readers through her gradual transformation from believing to questioning that she was white as a child, seeking the truth about her heritage as an adult, and then progressively bringing her family onboard, encouraging them to accept and be proud of her as a mixed-race Black woman. Lawton explains that she knew she was different as early as age five, but her immediate and extended family told her otherwise. This denial intensified after her father's death, propelling her to seek the truth elsewhere. Because Lawton's parents failed to truthfully explain her Black identity, she sought answers from psychologists, sociologists, and genomic sciences, learning from DNA testing that she is 43 percent Nigerian. When Alex Haley's novel Roots was published in 1976, it popularized the use of DNA testing, which has since opened a new door for those searching for identity and belonging. By resorting to DNA testing, Lawton knows that she is treading a path followed by many African Americans, whose ancestors were uprooted from Africa and transported to the Americas by Europeans to be enslaved. She points out that the global obsession with DNA testing is a window into increasingly heightened racial discourse and offers people in the African diaspora an opportunity to relocate themselves in a personal and historical narrative that has been hijacked by others who should not be telling Black stories. Lawton keenly observes that the increase in testing is tied to a growing search for personal history and belonging, greater accessibility of providers and affordability, "the rise of Afrofuturism," and an embrace of the concept of sankofa (p. 252). However, as she cautions, genetic ancestry DNA tests have also been exploited for nefarious ends by insurers and government institutions. Going back even farther, European powers have used race as a social construct to weaponize, discount, and diminish the realities of minority ethnic groups since the 15th century. Throughout her travels in countries such as Vietnam, Nicaragua, Cuba, and the Dominican Republic, Lawton observed that the forces of colonialism and imperialism, executed by Spanish, French, Portuguese, American, and British authorities, have impressed their cultural norms on local populations, "leaving emotional wounds and economic scars that are embedded, bone-deep, in the bodies of these places" (p. 174). She bemoans another depressing reality in the disparaging way in which Black bodies are treated when compared to white bodies in interconnected ways both big and small. This includes, as an example, the perception of Black women's hair by white hairdressers as too "difficult" to handle in its natural state and needing to be "tame[d]," which relates back to a larger impetus to control Black women and deny them "autonomy over their own bodies" (p. 187). Lawton succinctly analyzes the trauma she and her mother faced after the death of her father: her mother from a privileged white point of view and herself from the perspective of having a lost identity. Both were forced to seek help from a therapist, she writes, noting that the healing power of therapy is best achieved when participants stay true to their authentic selves. Lawton acknowledges that within these judgment-free sessions, she and her mother were able to converse about inequality and their racial differences, eventually coming to understand, acknowledge, and accept each other as they are. Readers might ask whether British and American societies need a similar therapy session: truth and reconciliation commissions on race to facilitate genuinely open discussions of their racial histories. Belonging goes beyond shared cultural background. As Lawton opines, middle-class white people still cling to racist feelings that "[B]lack skin comes with the weight of loaded assumptions that class and accent and education can never eradicate" (p. 200). She observes that some mixed children, attracted by the advantages that come with being white, are willing to pass as white when circumstances allow, thus denying their Black identity. Lawton rejects this idea of passing because, in addition to being exhausting, it embodies deception. It illustrates that white racialized identity is so omnipotent that we should all aspire to it. She stresses that we cannot escape our identities as they shape who we are, whom we seek out, and how we connect with one another for the betterment of all. White people have functioned for so long as though whiteness is the normative touchstone of all humanity and have expressed anger and defensiveness when reminded that there are "others." These "others" want to be seen, acknowledged, recognized, and accepted for who they are: human beings who belong to this world just as much as anyone else. Summing Up: Highly recommended. All levels. --Zacharia Nchinda Nchinda, Milwaukee Area Technical College

Copyright American Library Association, used with permission.
Review by Booklist Review

Lawton, a columnist for The Guardian, was raised as white, with a white English father and a white Irish mother. She often questioned why she looked different from her immediate family, but her parents never discussed race with her, instead explaining her darker skin and curly hair with stories about distant relatives whose genes had skipped some generations. After losing her father to cancer when she was in her early twenties, Lawton took a DNA test that showed she was not his biological daughter. The results forced her mother to admit that Lawton had been conceived through a one-night infidelity with a Black Irishman. Destabilized by the revelation, Lawton grapples with her identity while grieving her father. In her debut memoir, Lawton reflects on the difficulty of reconciling her loving parents with their deeply buried family secret and the resulting erasure of her racial identity throughout her childhood. With writing that at times reads casually, like a personal blog, Lawton's examination of identity and family is a compelling account that will resonate with many readers.

From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

Journalist Lawton explores questions of belonging, racial identity, and family secrets in her shattering debut. Throughout grade school and her teen years, her friends questioned why she, the daughter of white parents, had brown skin and kinky hair, yet her mother refused to discuss the truth about her paternity. Following her father's death, Lawton bought a DNA test, the results of which led her to uncover her mother's infidelity with a Black man, which she revealed in a shocking confession and caused a falling-out between them. The heart of the book chronicles the aftermath, as Lawton, with the help of friends and therapists, blossoms emotionally and professionally despite her psychological struggles, in time becoming a Guardian columnist and traveling across the world. Lawton builds a strong story around her attainment of emotional balance and her quest for identity and belonging. At turns revelatory and profound, this memoir sings. (Feb.)

(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved
Review by Library Journal Review

Lawton, raised as a white Briton by white parents, never wondered why she looked different than them. After taking a DNA test, she exposes a family secret that compels her to grapple with her Blackness and identity.

(c) Copyright Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
Review by Kirkus Book Review

An intimate story about the meaning of family and the subjectivity of race. In her debut memoir, Guardian columnist Lawton offers a unique perspective on identity and family in an era of racial awakening. The author guides readers through her childhood as a mixed-race girl raised by two White parents who insisted that her darker skin was the product of a so-called "throwback gene." After the death of her father, Lawton took a DNA test that forced her to confront why her Blackness was always treated as a burden instead of a self-evident truth. "I was an inquisitive child with an anti-authoritarian streak that would rear its head at inopportune times, but which was probably linked to the fact that my very existence was contradictory and nonsensical," she writes. "I was looking to find my place in the world around me." As she tells her personal story, the author weaves in discussions of such relevant concepts as transracial identity, Afro-futurism and the importance of Black hair, without assuming that readers are familiar with any of them. She helpfully situates her epiphanies about identity within the robust canon of contemporary Black thinkers, from bell hooks to Zora Neale Hurston to Solange. But the book isn't just a passive examination of race. Lawton uprooted her life in search of community, traveling to Cuba, Nicaragua, Morocco, and Vietnam. The book is sure to resonate with those who have had to negotiate their existence in the "in-between" or who possess identities that defy old-fashioned, traditional norms. Lawton gives herself, and others, permission to contain multitudes. "Being yourself," she writes, "is easier once you free yourself from the baggage of other people's expectations, when you look in the mirror and accept that the person staring back at you is a culmination of everything you have always wanted to be." A timely, engaging exploration of family and racial belonging featuring many valuable lessons. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.