God I feel modern tonight Poems from a gal about town

Catherine Cohen, 1991-

Book - 2021

"Tragicomic verses by award-winning comedian and renaissance millennial woman. Catherine Cohen, the one-woman standup chanteuse who has electrified the downtown comedy scene in her white go-go boots, has been posting poignant, unfiltered poems on social media since before Instagram was a thing. A self-proclaimed self-obsessed millennial on the prowl with her beaded bag, she ponders good and bad dates, English-major dreams, the Lululemon employee who murdered her co-worker, and other weighty matters in these captivating short lyrics that speak to and about her generation."--

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Subjects
Genres
Humorous poetry
Poetry
Published
New York : Alfred A. Knopf 2021.
Language
English
Main Author
Catherine Cohen, 1991- (author)
Edition
First edition
Item Description
This is a Borzoi book published by Alfred A. Knopf.
Physical Description
69 pages ; 19 cm
ISBN
9780593318331
  • Machine generated contents note: Poem I Wrote After I Found Out That Alcohol Is Actually Just Sugar
  • Poem I Wrote After I Woke Up At 6 A.M. As A Joke
  • Poem I Wrote After I Crumrned
  • Poem I Wrote After I Went To Tuscany To Journal About My Toxic Guitar Teacher
  • Poem I Wrote After I Told You I Was Empathetic
  • Poem I Wrote After I Decided That All I Need To Do To Be In A Good Mood Is Spend Six Hours Alone In My Apartment Every Day
  • Poem I Wrote After I Looked At Your Jawline And It Ruined My Life
  • Poem I Wrote After I Masturbated While Wearing Airpods
  • Poem I Wrote After I Went To The Gym With Someone I Had Sex With
  • Poem I Wrote After I Sent Three Guys The Same Nude
  • Poem I Wrote After I Didn't Drink For Six Days And Thought About Starting A Cult
  • Poem I Wrote After You Told Me Your Ex Is "Actually Really Cool"
  • Poem I Wrote After You Went Down On Me And Then Called Me "Dude"
  • Poem I Wrote After I Ruined The Bathroom At Au Bon Pain
  • Poem I Wrote After I Realized No One Talks About That Time The Lululemon Employee Murdered Her Coworker In The Store
  • Poem I Wrote After I Decided Something Was Going On With The Moon
  • Poem I Wrote After You Ordered Fried Shrimp At The Diner And I Was Like "Gross" But Really I Was Like "Dang That Sounds Good"
  • Modern Love Poem
  • Poem I Wrote Last Night When I Couldn't Go To Sleep Because There Are No Sheets On My Bed Because I Perioded On My Other Sheets And Cannot Be Bothered To Put New Ones On
  • Poem I Wrote After I Did The Dishes In My Apartment And Was Like Okay I'm In A Play
  • Poem I Wrote After Experiencing An Amazing Hangover
  • Poem I Wrote After I Told You About My Joie De Vivre
  • Poem I Wrote After I Got Scolded At The Whole Foods For Stealing A Meatball From The Salad Bar
  • Poem I Wrote After We Enjoyed Crying About How We Can't Be Together
  • Poem I Wrote After Calling Someone A "Darling Of The Scene"
  • Poem I Wrote After Seeing That Guy From Project Runway At The Whole Foods Again
  • Poem I Wrote After I Read An Article On Why It Is So Hard To Go Up Stairs
  • Poem I Wrote After I Called Myself The Taylor Swift Of Comedy
  • Poem I Wrote After A Stranger On Youtube Said He Wouldn't Fuck Me With Someone Else's Cock
  • Poem I Wrote After I Ordered A Waffle As A Side Dish
  • Poem I Wrote After I Asked My Personal Trainer If He Believed In God
  • Poem I Wrote After My Therapist Told Me To Have A Drink
  • Poem I Wrote After I Told You I Was Free Bleeding At The Improv Show
  • Poem I Wrote After You Helped Me Assemble My New Couch And Then Broke Up With Me On It
  • Love Poem For My British Lover
  • Every Good Song Is Named "Dreams"
  • Poem I Wrote After You Told Me "I Don't Think You're As Amazing As You Think You Are"
  • Life Is In The Spaces Between Sex With You
  • Oh God
  • It's Worse Than I Thought
  • Italy
  • The Night We Met You Kissed Me In A Closet And I Slapped You And Told You To Ruin My Life
  • There's No Such Thing As Overreacting, It's Called Reacting, Darling!
  • The Void
  • Poem I Wrote After I Downloaded The Sims At Age 28 During Quarantine
  • Poem I Wrote After I Had A Dream Jessica Simpson Took Me "Under Her Wing"
  • Poem I Wrote After I Listened To My Spotify Top Songs Of 2019 And It Undid All The Work I Did In Therapy Last Year
  • Poem I Wrote After My Lover Quoted Zoolander Towards Me
  • Poem I Wrote After I Opened A Canned Wine Upon Receiving Your Email
  • Poem I Wrote After I Asked My Friend If Her New Boyfriend Cares About Me
  • Poem I Wrote After Another Exquisite Morning On My Phone
  • Poem I Wrote After I Asked You If Cereal Can Expire
  • Poem I Wrote After The New Taylor Swift Album Came Out Thank God
  • Poem I Wrote After I Had The Strangest Urge To Confide In Dear Friends Beneath Starlight
  • Poem I Wrote After I Texted My Therapist That I'm Not Pregnant
  • Poem I Wrote After I Tried To Write A Tweet About Sparkling Water
  • Poem I Wrote After I Took A Photo Of My Tits With A Self-Timer Alone Like An Adult
  • Poem I Wrote After I Made You Tell Me I Was Sexy Four Times Today
  • Road Trip Poem #3
  • Road Trip Poem #9
  • Road Trip Poem #12
  • Road Trip Poem #17.

poem I wrote after I told you I was empathetic I go to the CVS on 14th & 8th and you've asked me not to contact you anymore one time you were having a smoothie like it was 1998 and there was nothing I could do about it your jawline is so perfect that I cannot stop telling you to kill me even though you said please stop asking me to kill you a leaf just fell outside my window remember when I tripped on the dance floor and that guy who always talked about Ibiza called me a fat whore? I should have said I'm a leaf I'm a leaf like I was in a play like I was in something bigger than my body I can't tell if my therapist is cool or just has short bangs poem I wrote after I tried to write a tweet about sparkling water I've got a disease where I haven't watched an entire feature film since the aughts do you like how I said "aughts"? you don't see that every day! I've never been to a sex party but one time I made fun of this girl for bringing deviled eggs to an event and then I ate six of them. humiliation, satisfaction, a long walk home in spring. I love sex and I love before it-- the double vodka soda leg touch Is it possible to miss everything at once? poem I wrote after I had the strangest urge to confide in dear friends beneath starlight I just took a pregnancy test to feel alive and all I got was piss on my hands I don't think I'd take my daughter to get her nails done if I were a mother she can do that with her friends if she wants I'd like to have kids at 35 so I can start wearing graceful linen sacks and calling everyone "darling" I'd like to wear lipstick and lean on a built-in bookcase and tell you I like Helen Frankenthalther and did you know that's her painting on the Renata Adler novel I told you to read the one I never finished because I needed to have sex with someone who lived on the Upper West Side can you grab some ice? I like ice in my wine Excerpted from God I Feel Modern Tonight: Poems from a Gal about Town by Catherine Cohen All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.