The gift 12 lessons to save your life

Holocaust survivor and therapist Eger (The Choice) encourages readers to break free from self-imposed mental prisons in this engaging work. Eger, drawing on a variety of therapeutic concepts, developed a technique she calls "choice therapy," which aims to promise freedom from the deleterious effects of personal trauma by choosing each day to recognize that suffering is temporary, to find lessons to be learned in the worst experiences, and to remain curious about the future. She covers 12 common "mental prisons," including avoidance, rigidity, and the "chronic anger and irritation" of resentment, fear, and hopelessness. For each "prison," she shares stories from her own life and those of clients to show how focusing on the future and reframing and reconsidering actions can have a powerful impact on one's happiness and mental health. Some of the examples are so extreme as to seem inapplicable--her own experiences in Auschwitz, a woman surviving two gunshots to the head, a singer developing a vocal tremor and back injury on the cusp of a world tour--but her nonclinical, conversational tone and genuine optimism make her suggestions seem entirely achievable. The range of topics Eger's methods address and her accomplished writing distinguish this useful guide for improving one's life. Agent: Doug Abrams, Idea Architects. (Sept.)

This 92-year-old author survived Auschwitz and went on to get a PhD in psychology and conduct a successful clinical practice for decades. She maintains that real freedom is within one's mind, and that it consists of one's power to choose. Here, with cowriter Weigand, Eger identifies common mental prisons that contribute to suffering, helps readers identify these, and offers tools to become free. The author's approach, named "choice therapy," is centered on the idea that healing, fulfillment, and freedom come from one's ability to choose one's responses to life's circumstances, and to make meaning and purpose from it all. Her three guideposts are: "We do not change until we're ready" and "change is about interrupting the habits and patterns that no longer serve us and discovering the real you." The chapter "Would You Like To Be Married to You?" deals with resentment, and "No One Rejects You But You" focuses on guilt and shame. VERDICT Eger's particularly wise book based on personal experience and clinical practice is highly recommended.

Chapter 1 KEYS TO FREE YOURSELF FROM VICTIMHOOD That was then, this is now. Think of a moment in childhood or adolescence when you felt hurt by another's actions, large or small. Try to think of a specific moment, not a generalized impression of that relationship or time of life. Imagine the moment as though you are reliving it. Pay attention to sensory details--sights, sounds, smells, tastes, physical sensations. Then picture yourself as you are now. See yourself enter the past moment and take your past self by the hand. Guide yourself out of the place where you were hurt, out of the past. Tell yourself, "Here I am. I'm going to take care of you." In every crisis there is a transition. Write a letter to a person or situation that has caused you pain, recently or in the past. Be specific about what the person did, or about what happened that you didn't like. Put it all on the table. Say how the actions, words, or events affected you. Then write another letter to the same person or situation--but this time write a thank-you letter, expressing gratitude for what the person has taught you about yourself or how the situation has prompted you to grow. The goal of the thank-you letter is not to pretend to like something you didn't like, or to force yourself to be happy about something painful. Acknowledge that what happened wasn't right and that it hurt. And also notice the healing power in shifting your point of view from a powerless victim to who you really are: a survivor, a person of strength. Harness your freedom to . Make a vision board--a visual representation of what you want to create or embrace in your life. Cut out pictures and words from magazines, old calendars, etc.--there are no rules, just see what attracts you. Paste the images and words to a sheet of poster board or a big piece of cardboard. Notice what patterns emerge. (This is a wonderful practice to do together with dear friends--and with plenty of good food!) Keep your vision board close by and look at it every day. Let this intuitive creation be an arrow to follow. Excerpted from The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life by Edith Eva Eger All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.