Squeeze me A novel
Large print - 2020
"Palm Beach. A prominent high-society matron - who happens to be a fierce supporter of the President and founding member of the POTUSSIES - has gone missing at a swank gala. When the wealthy dowager Kiki Pew Fitzsimmons is later found dead in a concrete grave, panic and chaos erupt. The President immediately declares that Kiki Pew was the victim of rampaging immigrant hordes. This, as it turns out, is far from the truth. Meanwhile, a bizarre discovery in the middle of the road brings the Fi...rst Lady's motorcade to a grinding halt (followed by some grinding between the First Lady and a lovestruck Secret Service agent). Enter Angie Armstrong, wildlife wrangler extraordinaire, who arrives at her own conclusions after she is summoned to the posh island to deal with a mysterious and impolite influx of huge, hungry pythons ... "--Provided by publisher.
*Starred Review* Hiassen's latest foray into South Florida offers both an absurdist view of tomorrow's headlines (it's set in postpandemic America) and a welcome reprise of the outrageously surrealistic tropes that first established the author as the Hieronymous Bosch of crime fiction. This time, though, the unhinged bad guys include the crude-spoken commander-in-chief (referred to by his Secret Service moniker, Mastodon) and a gaggle of Botox-infused, martini-swilling women who call themselves the Potussies and swear brassy loyalty to their president. Hiaasen's plot kicks into gear when one of the Potussies, Kiki Pew Fitzsimmons disappears from the president's Palm Beach pleasure dome, Casa Bellicosa, on the same night that a giant python is found on the grounds. Wildlife-relocation expert Angie Armstrong is certain that Kiki is now residing in the python's midsection, but that explanation won't fly at the Casa. An alternate theory emerges, embraced by Mastodon and the Potussies: Kiki was abducted by an illegal alien. The plot gets crazier from there in a manner that we might once have seen as exaggerated for effect but that, today, sounds like a White House presser. Among the many pleasures in this rampagingly funny satire is the reappearance of one of Hiaasen's much-loved characters, the wily Skink, former Florida governor turned Everglades hermit, who joins forces with Angie and Mastodon's fed-up wife, Mockingbird, to inject a dash of hope into the Boschian landscape.HIGH-DEMAND BACKSTORY: Hiaasen's satire is sure to get more off-the-book-page attention than usual. Copyright 2020 Booklist Reviews.Review by PW Annex Reviews
At the start of this heavy-handed satire from bestseller Hiaasen (Razor Girl), wealthy 72-year-old Kiki Pew Fitzsimmons, a member of the POTUS Pussies, "a group of Palm Beach women who proclaimed brassy loyalty to the new, crude-spoken commander-in-chief," disappears from a charity event for the local chapter of a foundation "committed to defeating Irritable Bowel Syndrome." Kiki Pew's fate isn't a mystery for long. The event manager calls in animal capture specialist Angie Armstrong after a large python with a distended belly is found in a tree on the grounds. After beheading the snake, Angie stores the carcass without checking what's inside the reptile. Crooks soon steal the dead python, from which they remove Kiki Pew's body and bury it in cement. The Secret Service becomes involved after the thieves fail to secure the python's body in the trunk of their car, and it falls into the path of a vehicle transporting the first lady. The unnamed American president, meanwhile, is a clueless idiot, enabled in his ignorance by his staff. Hiaasen doesn't put subtlety at a premium. Those looking for light distraction from current events may be amused. Agent: Esther Newberg, ICM Partners. (Aug.) Copyright 2020 Publishers Weekly Annex.
When a high-society dowager murdered at the height of Palm Beach’s charity gala season is declared a political martyr by the colorful President she supported, a talented wildlife wrangler uncovers the truth amid the discovery of a controversial affair. (mystery & detective). Simultaneous.Review by Publisher Summary 2
When a high-society dowager murdered at the height of Palm Beach's charity gala season is declared a political martyr by the colorful president she supported, a talented wildlife wrangler uncovers the truth amid the discovery of a controversial affair.Review by Publisher Summary 3
“If you could use some wild escapism right now, Hiaasen is your guy.” —Janet Maslin, The New York Times From the author of Skinny Dip and Razor Girl, a hilarious, New York Times best-selling novel of social and political intrigues, set against the glittering backdrop of Florida’s gold coast. It's the height of the Palm Beach charity ball season: for every disease or cause, there's a reason for the local luminaries to eat (minimally), drink (maximally), and be seen. But when a prominent high-society dowager suddenly vanishes during a swank gala, and is later found dead in a concrete grave, panic and chaos erupt. Kiki Pew was notable not just for her wealth and her jewels--she was an ardent fan of the Winter White House resident just down the road, and a founding member of the POTUSSIES, a group of women dedicated to supporting their President. Never one to miss an opportunity to play to his base, the President immediately declares that Kiki was the victim of rampaging immigrant hordes. This, it turns out, is far from the truth. The truth might just lie in the middle of the highway, where a bizarre discovery brings the First Lady's motorcade to a grinding halt (followed by some grinding between the First Lady and a love-struck Secret Service agent). Enter Angie Armstrong, wildlife wrangler extraordinaire, who arrives at her own conclusions after she is summoned to the posh island to deal with a mysterious and impolite influx of huge, hungry pythons . . .Carl Hiaasen can brighten even the darkest of days and Squeeze Me is pure, unadulterated Hiaasen. Irreverent, ingenious, and highly entertaining, Squeeze Me perfectly captures the absurdity of our times.