Why good sex matters Understanding the neuroscience of pleasure for a smarter, happier, and more purpose-filled life

Nan Ellen Wise

Book - 2020

"A sex therapist and neuroscientist describes anhedonia, the inability to feel a satisfactory amount of pleasure-and provides the pathway back to fully enjoying sex, food, time with family and friends, and other pastimes, while also staving off depression, anxiety, and addiction"--

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Subjects
Genres
Self-help publications
Published
Boston : Houghton Mifflin Harcourt [2020]
Language
English
Main Author
Nan Ellen Wise (author)
Physical Description
xix, 252 pages ; 24 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographical references (pages 217-241) and index.
ISBN
9781328451309
  • Introduction
  • The Pleasure Crisis and the Path to Healthy Hedonism
  • 1. The Theft of Pleasure
  • 2. The Sexual Route to Understanding Pleasure
  • 3. The Core Emotions in the Brain's Basement
  • Restoring The Emotional Brain
  • 4. Rebalancing Your SEEKING System: Liking What You Need
  • 5. Hot-Tempered and Afraid: Taming Our Defenses
  • 6. CARE, GRIEF, and PLAY: Using Our Affiliative Emotions to Enhance Pleasure
  • Pursuing-And Obtaining-Healthy Pleasures
  • 7. Operational Intelligence and Creating a New Way to Be
  • 8. Sex as a Tool for Transformation
  • 9. Good Sex Versus Great Sex: Embracing Your Sexual Potential
  • A Final Note
  • Acknowledgments
  • Notes
  • Index
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

In this astute debut, neuroscientist and therapist Wise analyzes the connection between mental health and sexual satisfaction and offers tips to improve one's sex life. Humans are addicted to "quick pleasure fixes" like television and social media, Wise writes, and suffer from anhedonia--an inability to experience authentic pleasure. There's a heavy focus on science in the first part of the book, as Wise discusses brain circuitry, neuromodulators, and the brain's relationship to sex and pleasure. She shares her research into how the brain reacts to an orgasm (it becomes infused with oxygen) and concludes that "orgasm may serve as the best possible 'exercise' for the brain." She addresses the ways that various stresses (fear, rage) create an emotional imbalance and lower sex drive, and shares stories of patients she's treated who've confronted issues related to intimacy, self-esteem, and more on their way to better sex. Wise also offers "Good Sex Tools," which include generic self-care tips (do yoga, journal) and a test for readers to figure out which kind of lovers they are ("rough and tumble," "needy"). Those looking for a more fulfilling sex life will benefit from this smoothly written, if at times clinical, look at how a person's mental state can elevate or sabotage their sexual experience. (Jan.)

(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved
Review by Kirkus Book Review

The fascinating science behind the intersection of sexual pleasure and brain functionality.In her debut book, cognitive neuroscientist and sex therapist Wise presents the "culmination of many decades" of scientific study dedicated to sex and its effects on the human brain. Findings from the author's clinical neurobiological research comprise the first sections of the book, in which Wise reveals how the primal emotional brain and its serpentine circuitry helps to drive our ability to experience joy. In many of her clients, the author recognized a "pleasure crisis," whereby debilitating symptoms like anxiety, stress, and chronic depression stifle one's ability to feel gratification. Though addictive quick fixes such as TV and social media have become exceedingly popular, their effects are fleeting, and anhedoniaan inability to experience pleasurebriskly returns to dull the psyche. Wise examines how we arrived at this crossroads by way of our historic ambivalence toward pleasure; while "we are intrinsically sexual beings," the number of roadblocks obstructing the pathways to true sexual satisfaction increases with age and the complexities of modern life. The author describes our "seven emotional systems" and how understanding them "is the first step to bringing your own brain-body into balance and returning to pleasure." Wise then introduces patients from her psychotherapy practice whose personal happiness has been hijacked by emotional imbalances and a lack of brain pleasure chemicals such as oxytocin and dopamine, which are released through touch and orgasm. For readers less scientifically attuned, the book's second half clearly addresses core issues of sex and pleasure through the practices of "good sex tools" (yoga, breathing exercises, etc.) to promote better self-care, erotic empowerment, and a heightened understanding of what role sex plays in our lives. Featuring a harmonious blend of clinical research and relatable instruction, the book will appeal to sexuality specialists and lay readers seeking guidance on matters of achieving pleasure.A rewarding text steeped in laboratory analysis and thought-provoking, motivating patient-based conclusions. Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

"Why do you study sex?"   It's winter 2012. Having spent countless hours over the previous three years examining brain imaging studies that involve women donating their orgasms to science, including piloting my own study with endless hours in an fMRI machine, this isn't the first time I've heard this question. I have presented my pilot data to the Society for Neuroscience at their yearly gathering of twenty-thousand-plus brain nerds featuring a dozen or so special lectures given by the rock stars at the cutting edge of the hottest neuroscience topics. Although other neuroscientists have conducted studies on how the human brain responds to sexual arousal, only two labs have been crazy enough to go all the way and study the brain on the big "O." The media loved the results of my team's study, which showed that orgasm was associated with increased blood flow--and therefore more oxygen--to more than eighty regions of the brain. "Have an orgasm instead of doing a crossword," one outlet wrote, "It's better for your brain, says scientist." You would think that people would know more about the sexual brain in general and orgasm in particular by this point, but that is not the case.   The "female brain orgasm video," as it has come to be known, had so many hits it crashed the hosting website and went viral (you can Google it for a view). No doubt this video is what got the attention of the Nightline producers and why Juju Chang was now waiting outside my lab, ready to roll her cameras.   I am mildly agitated at the prospect of having to stop everything to make arrangements for the crew to witness one of our studies, but I am also eager to do the show because I believe we have an obligation to validate the importance of human sexuality--and this gives us the opportunity to show our work to a large national audience.   So, before we start up the fMRI, I think about how to respond to Juju's question, "Why do you study sex?"   This is the same question that I have been asked since I first got into the sex research biz. I've been asked this question in my own psychology department by colleagues who seem uncomfortable with our work and who have expressed the opinion that our participants must be "exhibitionists"--the same colleagues who on occasion let little comments, like "Hey, sex maniac," slip when they bump into me in the hall. It's the same question I am always answering to justify our work. But, in a way, this question is also my own--it's what has been nagging at my curiosity over the past thirty years, from when I first began working as a psychotherapist, then a sex therapist, and now as a neuroscientist. I've been investigating this question in all sorts of settings because it raises so many issues about happiness, health, well-being, and pleasure, and, yes, about sex itself. Indeed, that's why I am writing the book that you now hold in your hands.   The scan fortunately goes well in spite of all the distractions, yielding yet one more orgasm to add to my data. At the end of the clip, there I am in my lab coat, giving my final sound bite. "We live in a country where people are really obsessed about sex and also very hung up about it. I think we need to get over that!"   Juju seems to agree as her voice-over immediately chimes in, "Our sexual happiness, it seems, depends on it." So why do I study sex?   Sex is important for overall physical and emotional well-being. Yet we know less about human sexuality and the brain than we do about possible life in outer space. In fact, until we understand how sex is wired in the brain, we will not fully understand how genitals, especially female genitals, work, how to help people with sexual disorders, and how and why addiction and mood disorders take root.   Interestingly, this question never came up when I was a sex therapist working privately with women and men on their complications and challenges in the bedroom. Sure, I'd been interviewed by magazines and newspapers, and some of my more interesting cases as well as my approach to sex therapy have been featured in books. But no one ever seemed to ask me why I chose a career focused on sex in the first place. That all changed when I decided to go to graduate school and pursue a PhD in cognitive neuroscience with a focus on sex.   Why did I want to understand how the brain and sex relate? Really, it all started with a hunch that was formed during my clinical practice as a psychotherapist (this was before I specialized in sex therapy). Excerpted from Why Good Sex Matters: Understanding the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose-Filled Life by Nan Wise All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.