Review by Publisher's Weekly Review
Freelance writer Khar holds nothing back in this moving debut memoir about addiction. She had been sexually abused and suffered depression beginning at age four; at eight, Khar filches a narcotic painkiller from her mother's medicine cabinet and feels release from her emotional pain. She begins a drug habit, and at 13, moves on to heroin. Khar unflinchingly recounts being raped by an ex-boyfriend and details a long string of destructive relationships. At one point, she becomes pregnant by an aging rock star and reluctantly has an abortion. There are years of rehab and relapse until at age 28, in 2002, Khar finds out she's pregnant for a second time and enters a short-lived, emotionally abusive marriage. After the birth of her son, Atticus, in 2003 Khar quits cold turkey. Rebuilding her life, she starts a blog, enters a healthy relationship, and eventually gives birth to a second son. Khar writes that she chose to share her story in an effort to reduce the stigma associated with having a drug addiction, "which prevents people from reaching out." This heartbreaking yet heartwarming memoir puts a human face on the drug crisis and the factors that lead to addiction. Agent: Jeff Kleinman, Folio Literary. (Feb.)
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Review by Library Journal Review
Freelance writer Khar shares her 15-year struggle with heroin addiction in this well-written debut memoir. Khar first experimented with opioids at age 13, when she found momentary relief after taking her mother's painkillers. Born into a wealthy family, Khar seemingly had everything, but she endured childhood sexual abuse, was raped by an ex-boyfriend as a teenager, and suffered from depression from an early age. She abruptly stopped using heroin after the birth of her son, Atticus, at age 28, but spent years trying to hide and minimize her addiction while losing herself in unhealthy relationships. Khar hopes to help destigmatize drug addition by telling her story, and she effectively captures how her unprocessed trauma and self-loathing fueled her cycle of drug use. Some passages feel slightly rushed and in need of more detail, but Khar makes up for it by sharing her heartbreaking journey with truth and absolute sincerity. VERDICT Purchase where memoirs about addiction or books about the opioid crisis are in demand.--Emily Patti, Fox Lake Dist. Lib., IL
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Review by Kirkus Book Review
A deeply confessional memoir by a widely published advice columnist who went all the way down the rabbit hole.In her first book, Khar, who writes the "Ask Erin" column on Ravishly, opens with a stark question from her 12-year-old son, Atticus: "Mom, did you ever do drugs?" It turned out to be a question with a voluminous answer from a woman who had kept her secrets close. The author started stealing pills in her early teens, experimented with other drugs, and ended up addicted to heroin for 15 years. Those who have read addiction memoirs before will recognize the pattern in this story: Eventually, the addict must take dope not to get high but to get "straight" enough to pretend to be a functioning human being. Then they usually suffer multiple relapses, which only add to the grief of their loved ones. Hopefully, like Khar, they can kick the habit and emerge on the other side with a semblance of a life intact. Now that she has gained some distance from her addiction, Khar is able to describe her behavior with refreshing perspective, and she is candid throughout, especially about how she continually drew people into her dangerous orbit before spontaneously pushing them away. While not as blisteringly shocking as some addiction memoirs, this contemporary take on an unfortunately too-common experience is eye-opening and relevant, especially as we continue to witness the escalation of the opioid epidemic. "I have compared my years spent in active addiction to being in a room on fire. With each passing year, with each line I crossed that I'd said I wouldn't, those flames got bigger.And I couldn't figure a way out of the room.The last time I detoxedwhen I was pregnant with AtticusI knewthat staying in that room would kill us both. I made a decision to walk through the flames and fortunately made it out."A necessarily honest and emotional account that ends in earned redemption. Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
