Bearing the unbearable Love, loss, and the heartbreaking path of grief

Joanne Cacciatore

Book - 2017

When a loved one dies, the pain of loss can feel unbearable, especially in the case of a traumatizing death that leaves us shouting, 'NO!' with every fiber of our body. The process of grieving can feel wild and nonlinear and often lasts for much longer than other people, the nonbereaved, tell us it should. This book is a companion for life and most difficult times, revealing how grief can open our hearts to connection, compassion, and the very essence of our shared humanity. The author, who is also a bereavement educator, researcher, Zen priest, and leading counselor in the field accompanies the reader along the heartbreaking path of love, loss, and grief. Through moving stories of her encounters with grief over decades of support...ing individuals, families, and communities, as well as her own experience with loss, the author opens a space to process, integrate, and deeply honor our grief.

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Subjects
Genres
Nonfiction
Published
Somerville, MA : Wisdom Publications [2017]
Language
English
Main Author
Joanne Cacciatore (author)
Item Description
Includes index.
Physical Description
222 pages ; 23 cm
ISBN
9781614292968
  • List of Grieving Practices Mentioned
  • Foreword
  • Prologue
  • 1. The Role of Others in Our Grief
  • 2. Public and Private Grief
  • 3. Ritual and Artistic Expressions of Grief
  • 4. Early Manifestations of Grief
  • 5. Nutrient-Deficient Soil
  • 6. Cultural Sensitivity
  • 7. Bearing the Unbearable
  • 8. Pause, Reflect, and Feel Meaning
  • 9. The Terror beneath the Terror
  • 10. The Pursuit of Happiness and the Unity of Opposites
  • 11. Bypassing Grief, Bypassing Love
  • 12. Intensity and Coping
  • 13. Contraction and Expansion
  • 14. The Collision of Love and Loss
  • 15. Boundless and Timeless Love
  • 16. Personifying Grief
  • 17. Pausing with Grief
  • 18. The Practice of Being With
  • 19. My Heart Cried Many Tears
  • 20. The Barefoot Walkabout
  • 21. The Vitality of Self-Care
  • 22. Self-Care and Sleep
  • 23. Ways to Care for Yourself
  • 24. Telling Family and Friends What We Need
  • 25. Self-Care as Distraction
  • 26. Learning, Adapting, and Trusting Intuition
  • 27. Re-Grieving
  • 28. Surrendering and Stretching
  • 29. When We Fragment
  • 30. Duration of Grief
  • 31. The Courage to Remember
  • 32. Joining Hands
  • 33. The Power of Unprocessed Traumatic Grief
  • 34. Silenced for Decades
  • 35. Guilt and Shame
  • 36. Inward and Outward
  • 37. Works of Love
  • 38. Waves of Grief
  • 39. "Remember Me," She Said
  • 40. Ritual and Microritual
  • 41. Meaning through Compassionate Action
  • 42. Kindness Projects
  • 43. Through Knowing Suffering
  • 44. Fierce Compassion
  • 45. The Horse Chemakoh
  • 46. The Price of Unrealized Grief and Trauma
  • 47. Transgenerational Grief
  • 48. Grief Broth
  • 49. The Darkness Has Its Gifts
  • 50. What I Know
  • Epilogue
  • Acknowledgments
  • Index
  • About the Author
Review by Choice Review

There is no shortage of texts about grief. Without a doubt, Cacciatore, bereavement educator, researcher, Zen priest, and counselor, has taken a unique, straightforward approach that will enlighten those who have not made this journey, offer guidance to those who are navigating loss, and provide validation for those who failed to meet society's expectations of how they should respond to their lives being forever changed. Cacciatore exposes the "happiness at all costs" mentality of contemporary society, a cultural norm she identifies as the core of the phobia of those around grievers, which many individuals experience during their time of loss. The author is a proponent of learning to live a life that coexists with grief, allowing grief to teach and change people. If one postpones facing grief, those emotions can become toxic. Cacciatore encourages individuals who have experienced loss to expand who they are as they look inward, embrace the loss and the associated feelings, and bravely inform others if they need assistance. The very short chapters, each focusing on a feature of the journey, leave readers breathless. Summing Up: Recommended. Lower-division undergraduates and above; faculty and professionals. --Jean S. St. Clair, Lynchburg College

Copyright American Library Association, used with permission.