Coping with critical, demanding, and dysfunctional parents Powerful strategies to help adult children maintain boundaries and stay sane

David M. Allen, 1949-

Book - 2018

"Do you have a parent who is invalidating, critical, demanding, or hateful? In this important and much-needed guide, you'll learn how to set boundaries; uncover the hidden motives behind your parent's behavior; put a stop to repetitive, hurtful interactions; and foster healthier relationships. There's no sugarcoating it--if you grew up with a parent who made you feel invalidated or unloved as a child, your pain is very real. In some cases, you may decide that you want to remove this parent from your life, and that is a valid choice. But for many people, dealing with a problem parent becomes a necessary part of life, for whatever reason. If you're one of these people, this book can help. If you've "had it ...up to here" with a parent who makes you feel as though you're just not good enough, this invaluable guide can help you put an end to toxic interactions while maintaining peace in your family" --

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2nd Floor 306.874/Allen Due Apr 29, 2024
Subjects
Published
Oakland, CA : New Harbinger Publications, Inc [2018]
Language
English
Main Author
David M. Allen, 1949- (author)
Physical Description
vi, 229 pages ; 23 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographical references (pages 227-229).
ISBN
9781684030927
  • Foreword
  • Introduction: Your Needs for Warmth and Acceptance
  • Part 1. What Is Going On?
  • 1. Ways to Understand Your Parents' Behavior
  • 2. How Have You Been Responding?
  • 3. Gain Perspective by Considering Family History and Circumstances
  • Part 2. What Can I Do?
  • 4. Prepare Yourself
  • 5. Keep the Logic Straight
  • 6. Anticipate the Seventeen Moves They May Make and Plan Your Countermoves
  • 7. Bring Significant Others and Siblings on Board
  • Part 3. How Do We Shift Toward Warmth and Acceptance?
  • 8. Initiate Constructive Conversations
  • 9. Request Specific Changes
  • 10. Overcome Habit and Relapse
  • Conclusion: You Can Grow Beyond Your Parents' Limitations
  • Acknowledgments
  • References
Review by Library Journal Review

Integrative therapist Allen (How Dysfunctional Families Spur Mental Disorders) writes this book for all who have felt belittled, devalued, controlled, and pressured by their parents but still want to have a relationship with them. First offering insights into why repetitive and difficult interactions take place, followed by techniques and strategies to help readers move beyond the painful effects of dysfunction, Allen then illustrates the use of common "moves" on a parent's part, such as continuing to pick a fight. He then suggests the "countermove" of calling it out, among other beneficial advice. In comprehensively exploring all aspects of dysfunction, he creates real hope for struggling adult children. VERDICT Highly recommended for anyone who has suffered the effects of a dysfunctional family. © Copyright 2018. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

(c) Copyright Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.