Love for imperfect things How to accept yourself in a world striving for perfection

Hyemin

Book - 2018

How do you respond to the pressures of life? Haemin Sunim argues that only by accepting yourself-- and the flaws that make you who you are-- can you have compassionate and fulfilling relationships with your partner, your family, and your friends. He believes that, when you care for yourself first, the world begins to find you worthy of care. -- adapted from jacket.

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Subjects
Published
New York, New York : Penguin Books [2018]
Language
English
Korean
Item Description
Translated from Korean.
Physical Description
259 pages : color illustrations ; 20 cm
ISBN
9780143132288
0143132288
Main Author
Hyemin (author)
Other Authors
Deborah Smith (translator), Lisk Feng (illustrator)
  • Prologue
  • Self-care. Don't be too good ; Your existence is already enough
  • Family. "Please look after Mom" ; Understanding our fathers
  • Empathy. The power of hugs ; Listening is an act of love
  • Relationships. On a Zen retreat ; Dealing with disappointment
  • Courage. To my beloved young friends ; The first failure
  • Healing. When forgiveness is hard ; "Haemin, I am a little depressed"
  • Enlightenment. The mind's true home ; My spiritual journey
  • Acceptance. The art of letting go ; Lessons from life's low point.
Review by Booklist Reviews

Sunim (The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down, 2012), a Buddhist monk, writes with an inviting and gentle voice that is akin to a warm embrace. Rather than deny life's difficult events or our own negative qualities, Sunim advises, we should welcome them as we would a small child, even one who has disappointed us. Although many self-help books preach triumphal purpose-seeking, Sunim astonishes by saying, "I don't think life has something grand in store for me." This may not be what many readers want to hear, but his tender insistence reassures that the day to be lived and the people to find connection with are more than enough. Practicing compassion (for others and for oneself) and detaching from things is work enough for a lifetime. Eight themed chapters are chockablock with short aphorisms and a few mini-essays. Sunim doesn't always hit the mark: there are some trite clunkers. But the majority of the book is worth repeated readings on a commuter train, at bedtime, or as part of a morning routine. Copyright 2018 Booklist Reviews.

Review by Library Journal Reviews

Zen Buddhist teacher Sunim (The Things You See Only When You Slow Down) applies his own experiences and those of the people he's mentored to teach us to accept the imperfections of others and ourselves in a more compassionate way, paying close attention to self-care and the need to listen to and voice our own feelings as well as hearing the opinions of those around us. Chapters on "family," "relationships," "courage," and "enlightenment" feature stories and guidance on the topic as well as tidbits of wisdom to apply to everyday life. VERDICT Quick, easy lessons for developing and increasing our practice of empathy toward ourselves and others. Copyright 2018 Library Journal.

Review by Publishers Weekly Reviews

Zen Buddhist teacher Sunim (The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down) looks tantalizingly at essential yet everyday aspects of the human experience in this lively book of reflections. Divided into broad chapters filled with anecdotes spanning the globe, the book is a multicultural offering for all readers, though the quality varies. Some chapters are relatable and valuable, such as "Family," in which Sunim urges adult children to care for their elderly parents, and "Empathy," in which he reminds readers of the power of hugs and listening as an act of love. Other sections are more questionable, such as the author's view that depression is a natural part of life's ups and downs and is easily fixable. In addition to stories from Sunim's own life, the book contains thought-provoking aphorisms, poems, and simple messages: "Do not think of yourself as a crescent moon/waiting for someone else to fill in the missing part of you...." Others are simplistic and of questionable value: "If you take home a cat and care for it,/ it won't be long before it becomes/ the cutest cat in the world." This is a breezy book with generally helpful reminders, wise advice, and pithy sayings to soothe the challenges of hectic life. (Dec.) Copyright 2018 Publishers Weekly.

Review by Publishers Weekly Reviews

Zen Buddhist teacher Sunim (The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down) looks tantalizingly at essential yet everyday aspects of the human experience in this lively book of reflections. Divided into broad chapters filled with anecdotes spanning the globe, the book is a multicultural offering for all readers, though the quality varies. Some chapters are relatable and valuable, such as "Family," in which Sunim urges adult children to care for their elderly parents, and "Empathy," in which he reminds readers of the power of hugs and listening as an act of love. Other sections are more questionable, such as the author's view that depression is a natural part of life's ups and downs and is easily fixable. In addition to stories from Sunim's own life, the book contains thought-provoking aphorisms, poems, and simple messages: "Do not think of yourself as a crescent moon/waiting for someone else to fill in the missing part of you...." Others are simplistic and of questionable value: "If you take home a cat and care for it,/ it won't be long before it becomes/ the cutest cat in the world." This is a breezy book with generally helpful reminders, wise advice, and pithy sayings to soothe the challenges of hectic life. (Dec.) Copyright 2018 Publishers Weekly.

Review by Publishers Weekly Reviews

Zen Buddhist teacher Sunim (The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down) looks tantalizingly at essential yet everyday aspects of the human experience in this lively book of reflections. Divided into broad chapters filled with anecdotes spanning the globe, the book is a multicultural offering for all readers, though the quality varies. Some chapters are relatable and valuable, such as "Family," in which Sunim urges adult children to care for their elderly parents, and "Empathy," in which he reminds readers of the power of hugs and listening as an act of love. Other sections are more questionable, such as the author's view that depression is a natural part of life's ups and downs and is easily fixable. In addition to stories from Sunim's own life, the book contains thought-provoking aphorisms, poems, and simple messages: "Do not think of yourself as a crescent moon/waiting for someone else to fill in the missing part of you...." Others are simplistic and of questionable value: "If you take home a cat and care for it,/ it won't be long before it becomes/ the cutest cat in the world." This is a breezy book with generally helpful reminders, wise advice, and pithy sayings to soothe the challenges of hectic life. (Dec.) Copyright 2018 Publishers Weekly.

Review by Publisher Summary 1

In a follow-up to his international best-seller The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down, a Zen Buddhist monk turns his spiritual wisdom to the art of self-care and the importance of learning to love ourselves.

Review by Publisher Summary 2

Presents the Zen Buddhist monk's reflections on self- care, self-acceptance, and developing personal relationships.

Review by Publisher Summary 3

Susan Cain, New York Times bestselling author of Quiet: "The world could surely use a little more love, a little more compassion, and a little more wisdom. In Love for Imperfect Things, Haemin Sunim shows us how to cultivate all three, and to find beauty in the most imperfect of things--including your very own self."A #1 internationally bestselling book of spiritual wisdom about learning to love ourselves, with all our imperfections, by the Buddhist author of The Things You Can See Only When You Slow DownHearing the words "be good to yourself first, then to others" was like being struck by lightning.Many of us respond to the pressures of life by turning inward and ignoring problems, sometimes resulting in anxiety or depression. Others react by working harder at the office, at school, or at home, hoping that this will make ourselves and the people we love happier. But what if being yourself is enough? Just as we are advised on airplanes to take our own oxygen first before helping others, we must first be at peace with ourselves before we can be at peace with the world around us.In this beautiful follow-up to his international bestseller The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down, Zen Buddhist monk Haemin Sunim turns his trademark wisdom to the art of self-care, arguing that only by accepting yourself--and the flaws that make you who you are--can you have compassionate and fulfilling relationships with your partner, your family, and your friends. With more than thirty-five full-color illustrations, Love for Imperfect Things will appeal to both your eyes and your heart, and help you learn to love yourself, your life, and everyone in it.When you care for yourself first, the world begins to find you worthy of care.