Gaslighting : recognize manipulative and emotionally abusive people--and break free

Gaslighting Recognize manipulative and emotionally abusive people--and break free

Stephanie Sarkis

Book - 2018

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Subjects
Manipulative behavior.
Psychological abuse.
Published
New York, New York : Da Capo Press 2018.
Language
English
Main Author
Stephanie Sarkis (author)
Edition
First edition
Physical Description
viii, 261 pages ; 23 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographical references (pages 243-248) and index.
ISBN
9780738284668
  • Introduction
  • 1. Is It Me, Or Is It You Making Me Think It's Me?: Portrait of a Gaslighter
  • 2. Love-Bombed, Hoovered, Devalued, and Discarded: Gaslighting in Intimate Relationships
  • 3. Passionate, Confident-and Out for Control: How to Avoid Falling for a Gaslighter in the First Place
  • 4. Saboteurs, Harassers, Off-Loaders, and Thunder Stealers: Gaslighters in the Workplace
  • 5. You, Too: Sexual Harassment, Violence, Domestic Abuse, and Gaslighters
  • 6. Mad for Power: Gaslighters in Politics, Society, and Social Media
  • 7. Beware the Man Behind the Curtain: False Messiahs, Extremist Groups, Closed Communities, Cults, and Gaslighting
  • 8. The Ones Who Really Get Under Your Skin: Gaslighters in Your Family
  • 9. With Frenemies Like These: Gaslighting in Friendships
  • 10. Your Ex, Your Kids, Your Ex's New Spouse, Your New Spouse's Ex: Gaslighting in Divorce and Coparenting
  • 11. Who, Me?: What to Do When You Are the Gaslighter
  • 12. Getting Free: Counseling and Other Ways to Get Help
  • Resources
  • Acknowledgments
  • References
  • Index
  • About the Author
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

Psychologist and mediator Sarkis, who blogs for Psychology Today, provides an extensive typology of the "gaslighter," who manipulates others into doubting their grip on reality. Gaslighters, according to Sarkis, are prone to, among other things, initially "love-bombing" others and then dodging commitment, eschewing personal responsibility, and harassment. She provides a great deal of practical information on how to deal with one in a variety of relationships (a spouse, a boss, a friend). She even has a chapter on what to do when one suspects oneself to be a gaslighter, though given this group's un-self-reflective nature, they would seem an unlikely audience for this book. If Sarkis has a weakness, it is for extreme cases; she sometimes seems to conflate the gaslighter with the psychopath, as when stating that the former might be prone to swindling or otherwise conning others and that they "will focus on stealing your spouse." She can also be self-congratulatory on her book's practical benefit for readers ("You'll learn much from this chapter that can help you put your own behavior into context"). Aside from those flaws, this is a succinct, useful self-help guide to responding to an all-too-common but underdiscussed personality type. (Oct.) © Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved
Review by Library Journal Review

Licensed mental health counselor Sarkis (Natural Relief for Adult ADHD; Making the Grade with ADD) introduces the little--researched phenomenon of gaslighting, manipulating someone by psychological means into questioning their own sanity. This behavior can be found in politics, the boardroom, and personal relationships. Gaslighters are usually quite charming but also master controllers who use specific techniques (e.g., triangulating, expecting special treatment, etc.). Sarkis demonstrates how to avoid falling for a gaslighter, or getting free of one if caught in their game, with in-depth portraits of domestic abusers and false messiahs as well as family members who use others as scapegoats. VERDICT A fascinating and necessary study of rampant gaslighting and how to steer clear of being a victim. © Copyright 2018. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

(c) Copyright Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

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