Autism in heels The untold story of a female life on the spectrum

Jennifer Cook O'Toole

Book - 2018

"Autism in Heels, an intimate memoir, reveals the woman inside one of autism's most prominent figures, Jennifer O'Toole. At the age of thirty-five, Jennifer was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, and for the first time in her life, things made sense. Now, Jennifer exposes the constant struggle between carefully crafted persona and authentic existence, editing the autism script with wit, candor, passion, and power. Her journey is one of reverse-self-discovery not only as an Aspie but--more importantly--as a thoroughly modern woman. Beyond being a memoir, Autism in Heels is a love letter to all women. It's a conversation starter. A game changer. And a firsthand account of what it is to walk in Jennifer's shoes (...especially those iconic red stilettos). Whether it's bad perms or body image, sexuality or self-esteem, Jennifer's is as much a human journey as one on the spectrum. Because autism "looks a bit different in pink," most girls and women who fit the profile are not identified, facing years of avoidable anxiety, eating disorders, volatile relationships, self-harm, and stunted independence. Jennifer has been there, too. Autism in Heels takes that message to the mainstream."--Page [2] of cover.

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Subjects
Genres
Autobiographies
Published
New York, NY : Skyhorse Publishing [2018]
Language
English
Main Author
Jennifer Cook O'Toole (author)
Other Authors
Navah Paskowitz-Asner (author of introduction)
Physical Description
xx, 248 pages ; 24 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographic references (pages 245-248).
ISBN
9781510732841
  • Foreword
  • Preface
  • Acknowledgments
  • Introduction: Thirty-Four Years
  • Chapter 1. Backwards in Heels: My Story in Reverse
  • Background Check
  • The Missing Link: Family Connections
  • Cracking the Diagnostic Code
  • What Ifs
  • Bell(e) Curve
  • Chapter 2. Camouflage: Hiding in Plain Sight
  • A World You Don't See: Synesthesia
  • Sketch the Portraits: The Masks We Wear
  • Tell the Stories: Behind the Mask
  • See and Be Seen
  • Labelish, Much?
  • The Chick-List Checklist
  • Chapter 3. Life with the Volume Turned Up: Intense Minds, Intense ... Everything
  • Splat! People
  • Championing the Human Spectrum: Intellectual Intensity
  • Song of Myself
  • The Name Game
  • The Wonder Bread Crisis
  • The Unexpected Redhead
  • Context Clues
  • Make-A-Wish
  • A Million Shards of Sand: Sensorial Intensity
  • Just Go Play!
  • Chapter 4. Executive, Functioning: Girls Can Be Professors, Too
  • Fault Lines (Through No Fault of Our Own)
  • Invisible on the Monopoly Board
  • I Can't Believe I'm About to Teach Brain Science in Public
  • Santa: Executive, Functioning
  • Brain Transplant
  • Executive Functions
  • Organization Function Skills
  • Regulation Function Skills
  • Trains and Fireflies
  • Functional Cruise Directors
  • Pivot Point
  • Chapter 5. Mythbusters: Open Heart Emotion
  • Can You Feel Me Now?
  • How Do I Look?
  • Alexa, Tell Me How I Feel
  • Poison, Dipped in Sugar
  • Cognitive Empathy, Theory of Mind, and Mary Poppins
  • Affective/Emotional Empathy: What Happens Once We Know
  • Ouch: Your Hurt Hurts Me
  • Why Not You-Or Me?
  • My Father's Daughter
  • Chapter 6. The Land of Anywhere But Here: Predators and Fandom Families
  • The Theory of My Mind
  • Little Blue Men in the Hands of Predators
  • Catching the Rain
  • Unlikely Heroes
  • Long Ago and Far Away
  • Chapter 7. The Statue of Venus: Friends, Rules, and Red High Heels
  • The Teachers' Lounge
  • That's What Friends Are For
  • Something Beautiful out of Something Broken
  • Bottoms Up
  • How to Be a Girl
  • Red High Heels
  • Chapter 8. So This Is Love: Autism by Gaslight
  • This. Wow. This.
  • Hands Off, Boys
  • An "Us" instead of a "Them"
  • A Cumulative Panic
  • The Poor Flower
  • A Kiss Is Not Just a Kiss
  • A Sisterly Aside
  • (A Little Rough Sometimes)
  • Finger Paint Bruises
  • The Piss Jar
  • Autism by Gaslight
  • For Good
  • Chapter 9. Hurts So Good: Our Epidemic of Self-Harm
  • The Woman I Almost Knew
  • Again and Again and Again
  • The Wandering Years
  • If Anyone Had Known
  • Salads and Spreadsheets
  • Kathryn's Birthday Present
  • Chapter 10. Semicolon: The Story of a Sisterhood
  • The Yank Meets the Princess
  • Thelma and Anne-Louise
  • Lola
  • Works Cited
Review by Booklist Review

*Starred Review* When O'Toole was diagnosed as autistic at age 34, she was relieved, rather than despairing. Finally, there was a reason why she felt so smart but so stupid. Why she could memorize facts but couldn't get to an appointment on time. Why scents, sounds, and colors were so distracting. Autism is usually considered a male disease; O'Toole speaks for the many females who haven't been diagnosed. Like heart disease, autism presents differently in women and is often misdiagnosed. Women are often able to keep their anxieties well hidden. O'Toole opens the world of autism to readers in this frank memoir, enabling them to understand how complicated simple actions can be when you're being bombarded by sensory stimuli. She talks of navigating life without a rule book, of misunderstanding social cues, and of facing bullying and abuse. O'Toole, author of the Asperkids series and an outspoken advocate for Aspies (named after Asperger's), doesn't apologize for being neurologically different. She contends that autism forges connections and perspectives that aren't available to the neurotypical. She is for acceptance, rather than impatience. This insightful, candid book, filled with memories from own her life and the stories of others, will be a lifesaver for anyone facing similar challenges and those close to them.--Candace Smith Copyright 2018 Booklist

From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

In this chipper memoir-cum-inspirational guide, O'Toole (the Asperkids series) documents life with Asperger syndrome, a classification within autism spectrum disorder. O'Toole's primary audience is girls and women on the spectrum, who are often underdiagnosed and "camouflage" their condition. Her book aims to help them and their families and friends see autism as "a neurological, not pathological, profile" and recognize the gendered ways in which that profile presents itself by using examples from her own life. O'Toole details her own childhood spent obsessing over Little House on the Prairie and the Smurfs, tirelessly rearranging her mother's nativity set, and pleasing adults but alienating other kids. As an adult, her Asperger's left her vulnerable to an eating disorder and abusive relationships. Each chapter includes a synthesis of research or explanation of autistic traits, and references to her current work as a motivational speaker. She offers encouraging, if trite, adages throughout: "I believe that kitchens are for dance parties (and brownies). That there is no such thing as too much glitter or too many 'I love you's.' That life is an endless feast of adventure and possibility and wonder." Regardless, O'Toole's compassion and enthusiasm are infectious. (Aug.) © Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved