Differently wired Raising an exceptional child in a conventional world

Deborah Reber

Book - 2018

"Today millions of kids are stuck in a world that doesn't respect, support, or embrace who they really are--these are what Deborah Reber is calling the "differently wired" kids, the one in five children with ADHD, dyslexia, Asperger's, giftedness, anxiety, sensory processing disorder, and other neurodifferences. Their challenges are many. But for the parents who love them, the challenges are just as hard--struggling to find the right school, the right therapist, the right parenting group while feeling isolated and harboring endless internal doubts about what's normal, what's not, and how to handle it all. But now there's hope. Written by Deborah Reber, a bestselling author and mother in the midst of a...n eye-opening journey with her son who is twice exceptional (he has ADHD, Asperger's, and is highly gifted), Differently Wired is a how-to, a manifesto, a book of wise advice, and the best kind of been-there, done-that companion. On the one hand it's a book of saying NO, and how it's time to say no to trying to fit your round-peg kid into society's square holes, no to educational and social systems that don't respect your child, no to the anxiety and fear that keep parents stuck. And then it's a book of YES. By offering 18 paradigm shifts--what she calls "tilts"-- Reber shows how to change everything. How to "Get Out of Isolation and Connect." "Stop Fighting Who Your Child Is and Lean In." "Let Go of What Others Think." "Create a World Where Your Child Can Feel Secure." "Find Your People (and Ditch the Rest)." "Help Your Kids Embrace Self-Discovery." And through these alternative ways of being, discover how to stay open, pay attention, and become an exceptional parent to your exceptional child"--

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Subjects
Genres
Nonfiction
Published
New York : Workman Publishing 2018.
Language
English
Main Author
Deborah Reber (author)
Physical Description
ix, 278 pages ; 22 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographical references (page 268-271) and index.
ISBN
9781523502127
  • A Differently Wired World
  • Part 1. A Rallying Cry
  • Chapter 1. An Unmarked Path
  • Chapter 2. The New Normal
  • Chapter 3. Square Pegs in Round Holes
  • Chapter 4. What's Keeping Us Stuck
  • Chapter 5. It's Time for Something New
  • Part 2. How Everything Can Change
  • Tilt 1. Question Everything You Thought You Knew About Parenting
  • Tilt 2. Get Out of Isolation and Connect
  • Tilt 3. Let Go of What Others Think
  • Tilt 4. Stop Fighting Who Your Child Is and Lean In
  • Tilt 5. Parent from a Place of Possibility Instead of Fear
  • Tilt 6. Let Your Child Be on Their Own Time Line
  • Tilt 7. Become Fluent in Your Child's Language
  • Tilt 8. Create a World Where Your Child Can Be Secure
  • Tilt 9. Give (Loud and Unapologetic) Voice to Your Reality
  • Tilt 10. Practice Relentless Self-Care
  • Tilt 11. Let Go of Your Impossible Expectations for Who You "Should" Be as a Parent
  • Till 12. Make a Ruckus When You Need To
  • Tilt 13. Align with Your Partner
  • Tilt 14. Find Your People (and Ditch the Rest)
  • Tilt 15. Recognize How Your Energy Affects Your Child
  • Tilt 16. Show Up and Live in the Present
  • Tilt 17. Help Your Kids Embrace Self-Discovery
  • Tilt 18. If It Doesn't Exist, Create It
  • Epilogue: Join the Revolution
  • Acknowledgments
  • Selected Sources
  • Favorite Resources
  • Book Club Discussion Questions
  • Index
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

Reber (What Smart Girls Know) brings the optimistic, child-centered approach of her Tilt Parenting website and podcast, which focus on raising neuroatypical children, into the self-help book format, but doesn't have much advice that's particularly original. Reber posits that "today's increasingly large population of atypical children may actually be a modern-day evolution," before launching into complaints about schools with one-size-fits-all approaches ill-suited to students with conditions like dyslexia and autism. Leaning heavily on her own experiences with Asher, her son diagnosed with ADHD, who struggled in school until her decision to homeschool him, Reber offers 18 "tilts"-practical shifts in behavior or attitude to improve family life. Many are similar to ideas offered to overwhelmed parents generally, such as avoiding becoming isolated from one's peers, not being concerned with the judgments of others, and practicing self-care, though some, like parenting "from a place of possibility instead of fear" and letting children exist "on their own timeline," are more targeted to atypical kids. Though Reber's upbeat voice may be inspiring for some parents, her advice on subjects like dealing with schools and building community tends toward the generic, preventing her manual from standing out amid the host of books covering the same topic. (June) © Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved
Review by Library Journal Review

When Reber's son was diagnosed as "2e" (twice exceptional), with the trifecta diagnosis of ADHD, Asperger's, and gifted, the author was introduced to the "lonely and difficult" journey of parenting an atypical child in a "conventional" world. A YA novelist (Language of Love) and nonfiction (Doable) writer, -Reber made a career shift and started TiLT Parenting, a website, podcast, and social media company for parents of differently wired children as a result of her experience with her own son. Reber asserts that parents need to start by powerfully changing their thinking and action to transform the dynamics in the family and help their children to be the best version of themselves. Instead of hoping they outgrow their wiring and working on building on a child's weaknesses, Reber encourages embracing their strengths and adopts the term neurodiversity to discuss neurological differences. She suggests seeking out like-minded parents, letting go of time lines and expectations, and making self-care a priority. VERDICT A valuable resource for parents, teachers, and family members of exceptional children of all types. © Copyright 2018. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

(c) Copyright Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
Review by School Library Journal Review

When Reber's son was diagnosed as "2e" (twice exceptional), with the trifecta diagnosis of ADHD, Asperger's, and gifted, the author was introduced to the "lonely and difficult" journey of parenting an atypical child in a "conventional" world. A YA novelist (Language of Love) and nonfiction (Doable) writer, -Reber made a career shift and started TiLT Parenting, a website, podcast, and social media company for parents of differently wired children, as a result of her experience with her own son. Reber asserts that parents need to start by powerfully changing their thinking and action to transform the dynamics in the family and help their children be the best version of themselves. Instead of hoping they outgrow their wiring and working on building on a child's weaknesses, Reber encourages embracing their strengths and adopts the term neurodiversity to discuss neurological differences. She suggests seeking out like-minded parents, letting go of time lines and expectations, and making self-care a priority. VERDICT A valuable resource for parents, teachers, and family members of exceptional children of all types.-Julia M. Reffner, North Chesterfield, VA © Copyright 2018. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

(c) Copyright Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.