***This excerpt is from an advance uncorrected copy proof*** Copyright © 2018 Sydney Landon One "What an asshole!" Dana Anders huffed in exasperation to her boss and best friend, Zoe Jackson. The fact that she was referring to Zoe's brother-in-law, Asher, didn't concern her in the least. If there was one rule in this world, it was that you always had your friend's back, even when it got tricky. "Since when is it acceptable to ask a woman if she shops in the teen plus-size section? He certainly knows how to multitask because he got in a dig at both my height and my weight." "I swear, I don't know why he acts like that towards you." Zoe grimaced as they both watched Ash walk out of Zoe's Place. Dana had been the manager of the popular hotel coffee shop for several years now, and it was the best job that she'd ever had. She loved meeting all the new people that passed through the luxury Oceanix-Pensacola Resort as well as chatting with the regulars who came in daily. She was a people person, so the work suited her perfectly. At least it had until the moment when Asher decided to relocate from the Oceanix-Charleston to their Florida location. Dana normally got along with everyone--she had really never met anyone who didn't like her, so at first the animosity Asher leveled her way was puzzling. Then it finally began to piss her off. What had she ever done to the man to deserve his scorn? It was as if he'd decided within an instant of making her acquaintance that he didn't like her, and his attitude toward her had only gotten worse. But the most galling part of the entire situation was that although she gave as good as she received where he was concerned, she could admit, just to herself, that she was wildly attracted to the jerk. A humiliating fact she prayed he never discovered. "Because he's compensating for his shortcomings by being a turd," she snapped. "I know the man is your brother-in-law, but I think you would have to agree with me on this one. He's never had one civilized word to say to me. What is his problem?" Dana inwardly winced when her question came out sounding more hurt than ticked off. The last thing she wanted getting back to Ash was for him to know that his behavior was getting to her. Well, that and the fact that she dreamed of him ripping her clothes off and taking her on the counter of the coffee shop. She suspected her boss would not approve of that particular fantasy either, although she was certain that Zoe and her husband, Dylan, had probably succumbed to it more than once. Speaking of Dylan, he was another Jackson brother that she hadn't particularly bonded with. Although in their case, the verbal sparring was more like that of siblings, rather than the more insulting variety she participated in with his brother. Dylan had thought that Dana was a bad influence on Zoe when they had finally started to date after years of platonic friendship. In the end, though, Dylan had married the woman he loved, and since the wedding he had mellowed a lot. Nevertheless, he still went through the motions of arguing with Dana just for fun. It was something they both enjoyed. Zoe laid a hand on Dana's shoulder and squeezed it in commiseration. "I honestly don't know," she admitted. "I've asked Dylan about it more than once and he says that it's really out of character for Ash. He's normally very charming where the opposite sex is concerned so we're all rather puzzled over it. Maybe I should talk to him," she began before falling silent as Dana vigorously shook her head. "No way. I won't let him have the satisfaction of thinking he's getting to me. Imagine how much that discovery would thrill him. You never give a bully that kind of power." Zoe picked up the latte that Dana had made for her earlier and took a sip. "So what are you going to do then?" She gave her a look full of sympathy before adding, "I can tell that he's hurting your feelings. I've wanted to beat the crap out of him myself even though he's not saying that stuff to me." Stiffening her spine, Dana brushed a hand down her black apron and tossed her head defiantly. "It's about time I started fighting fire with fire. If he can come into my place of business and insult me every day, then maybe I need to level the same treatment at him." Zoe gave her a skeptical look before asking, "What exactly does that mean? You two already bicker when he's here. It's not as if you're just standing around taking it from him." "True," Dana agreed, nodding, "but he gets the last word in because he is free to walk out the door whenever he wants. Since I'm always in the middle of my shift, I can't exactly follow behind him." "You could signal me if I'm here so that I can take over for you," Zoe suggested helpfully. Dana thought to herself--not for the first time--that she'd hit the lottery in the boss department. Not many business owners would volunteer to cover for their employee so she could follow a customer out the door to continue an argument. Especially when she was now related to the other person by marriage. Zoe rocked, as a friend and as a boss. Giving her first real smile of the day, Dana shook her head. "That's not necessary, but I absolutely love you for offering. No, what I had in mind was to give him a taste of his own medicine. He orders lunch and coffee from here almost daily. So from now on, I think I'll make that delivery myself instead of having one of the girls take care of it." Dana saw the exact moment that the lightbulb went on above Zoe's head. Her friend's lips twitched before a loud giggle escaped. "That's rather brilliant, I have to admit. You're gonna bring the battle to his doorstep. Crap, I'd love to be around to see that the first time. He won't be expecting it." "No, he won't." Dana offered an evil grin. "Of course, it'll only be a surprise once, but if I play my cards right, it'll make such a big impression that he'll think twice about opening his mouth to say anything to me other than a polite 'How are you today?'" Cringing slightly, Zoe looked at Dana before saying, "I feel as if I should warn my husband out of loyalty. I mean, it is his office that you're declaring war on." When Dana narrowed her eyes at her friend, Zoe laughed and held up one hand. "All right, my lips are sealed. I'm sure Ash will tell him all about it after your first delivery anyway. Plus, his brother seriously needs to learn some manners." They did a fist bump before getting back to work. After that, the rest of the day passed by quickly as usual, and when Dana left for home that afternoon, it was one the few times since Asher Jackson had arrived on the scene over a year ago that she had pep in her step. She had a war to wage tomorrow, and she found that she was beyond excited to deliver some justice to Ash along with his usual sandwich. Hell hath no fury like a woman called fat by a man. When Asher Jackson's stomach growled yet again, he glanced at his watch, wondering what was taking so long for his food delivery. Since Zoe's Place was located in the same hotel, the service was usually very fast. But it had already been almost an hour and he was starving. He'd had a clingy one-night stand the previous evening and he'd been determined not to provide breakfast and mixed signals. When you cooked for a woman, they made a lot of assumptions. Usually he cleaned out the refrigerator before he went out on the prowl. He didn't even keep cereal in his cabinets. He'd made that mistake before and had a woman eat that stuff dry when he'd told her he was out of milk. Now he knew never to underestimate a woman looking to make what was supposed to be a brief sexual encounter into something more. Truthfully, he discouraged women from staying over, but it had been so late by the time they'd made it to his place and the deed was done, that he'd just crashed instead of dealing with the awkward showing her the door routine. Turned out he'd made a mistake by delaying that and giving them both a few hours of sleep. When he'd woken up, Betsy, Betty, or whatever her name was had been wandering around his apartment in one of his T-shirts while flipping through a family photo album. He'd had a creepy feeling that she was looking at his boyhood pictures and dreaming about what their future children would look like. She'd even motioned him over and quizzed him about his attractive female cousins featured in some of the pictures. He'd thought he was imagining the tension in her voice until he noticed her eye twitching. Danger! He'd been with his share of crazy chicks before and he knew the signs. So he'd made up something about an early meeting and literally dressed her before pushing her out the door. Afterward he'd found her name and number written in lipstick on his bathroom mirror with a big heart drawn around them. The same information had also been left duct-taped to his refrigerator door. What he wanted to know was where in the hell had she gotten duct tape and what kind of person put that on top-of-the-line stainless steel? He'd barely gotten over that audacity when he'd returned to the bedroom to find more writing on the mirror in his closet and then later on his dining room window. Fuck, had she been raised in a barn? He was still trying to wipe the bright red stuff off when his housekeeper, Rosa, had arrived. She'd taken one look and connected the dots perfectly. She'd been with him less than a year, but the woman seemed to know everything and she damn sure wasn't shy about sharing her opinions with him. "Pissed off another one, huh, Romeo? I hope this girl didn't cut holes in your expensive sheets or pee on your bath towels. That girl sure had a bladder on her. She nearly soaked through those extra-fluffy ones. Where do you find these women anyway? Have you considered taking out a personal ad? E-Harmony is supposed to run background checks, aren't they?" Without waiting for him to answer, she'd rolled her eyes and shook her head in disapproval. "No, that won't work. You need a service that runs an in-depth psych check. And probably not before you sleep with them. Because they're mostly normal at that point. But you do something during the hour or so that you let them stay to push them over the edge. If you ever decide to see one a second time, by some rare miracle, that's when the evaluation is needed." She had walked up to him with a bottle of Windex in her hand and pushed him to the side. "You do realize that crazy is just as contagious as a bad case of the flu, right? You keep dragging these nut jobs home and eventually I'm gonna walk in one day to find you sitting in the middle of the floor spinning a plate and clapping your hands together like that Sybil woman." Rubbing his throbbing head, Ash had asked, "Who in the hell is Sybil?" He almost dreaded hearing the answer. He also wasn't brave enough to tell his rather intimidating housekeeper that if crazy was catching, he'd probably get it from her before anyone else. She'd clucked her tongue as if he'd committed some grievous error. "That old movie where Sally Field had all of those personalities. That girl didn't know if she was a boy or a girl or what age she was. She was up, down, and all over the place." Confused, Ash had asked, "What's that got to do with spinning plates? Have you been smoking your husband's medical marijuana again?" Rosa poked her surprisingly bony finger into his side. "I know you were doing God knows what all night, but try to keep up. In the movie, Sybil sat on the floor while spinning a plate and clapping her hands. Bat shit crazy, she was. That could be you one day if you aren't more selective about your woman friends. Why can't you follow your brother's example and find a good girl like Zoe?" Ash didn't bother to point out that she'd avoided his question about the marijuana. Rosa and her husband, Ted, reminded him of old school hippies. He was almost certain there was some pot smoking happening at their house on a regular basis. He'd been around his share of weed so he knew it wasn't weird perfume that Rosa reeked of occasionally. He didn't judge though. When she wasn't giving him hell, she made his life easier. Plus, he found he enjoyed these wacky conversations with her. She'd also shown more than one clinger to the door for him the next morning and that right there was more than enough to earn her a job for life. Hell, he'd make her employee of the month if there was anyone else for her to compete against. As it was, he paid her double the going rate for housekeeping and gave her generous benefits. Okay, so maybe she'd demanded all of that, but he'd given in quickly. She didn't need to know that he was a tad bit scared of her. "Zoe's one of a kind," he admitted truthfully. He was half in love with his brother's wife and wasn't shy about telling Dylan as much on a regular basis. Dylan just laughed it off because he had no worries where she was concerned. They were sickeningly in love with each other, and there was zero chance of either one of them ever straying. "Yeah, you got that right," Rosa had agreed. "But surely she has some friends or maybe a sister. Someone who thinks that good morals means waiting until the soup course before dropping their underwear." Ash couldn't help it--he threw his head back and laughed. Damn, he loved the shit that came out of her mouth. If he could find a younger and hopefully more attractive version of his housekeeper, he'd damn well marry her. Considering the amount of stolen and damaged items that women had taken or destroyed through the years, he'd save a small fortune. Not to mention he'd sleep better knowing he wasn't going to take up a starring role in his own Fatal Attraction movie. Fuck, he had nightmares about psycho chicks standing over him with sharp objects while he slept. "I'm pretty sure that Zoe has already warned all of her friends about me so I don't think there's any chance of that." The words had barely left his mouth when an image of Dana suddenly filled his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block her out. The woman irritated the hell out of him on a daily basis, so it was beyond him why he spent so much time thinking about her. He'd never admit it, but a lot of the thoughts were regret over nasty things he'd said to her. Women loved him because he was full of compliments and charm. But around her, for some inexplicable reason, he turned into some schoolyard bully. It was as if he was standing on the outside watching a stranger say all of that shit to her. But no matter how many times he promised himself that he'd do better, he never did. Within seconds of being in her company, he would unleash another volley of insults. The whole thing might have gotten old enough to put it behind him by now if she didn't rise to the occasion so well. There were a few times that he thought he might have seen what looked like hurt in her eyes when they had gone a little too far, but it had vanished so quickly he'd convinced himself that he'd imagined it. Even his brother, who had a similar relationship with her, had pointed out more than once that he needed to back off before she either killed him or quit her job. If the latter happened, Zoe would make both Dylan and Ash's life a living hell. Almost as if he'd conjured her from his thoughts, the object of his ire strolled into his office like she owned the place. He shook his head, thinking he was still in his apartment talking to Rosa that morning, but no . . . she was standing in front of his desk with her hands on her hips and a smug expression on her plump lips. This ain't good, he thought before gathering his wits and leveling a sarcastic smile her way. "You here to take me up on that offer to help you dress for your . . . size?" He'd made references to her lack of height and her stocky frame on his last round of taunts. Then offered to take her to Build-A-Bear for a new outfit. Yeah, it had been an asshole thing to do, but it was better than her discovering that she actually turned him on more than anyone had in years. He couldn't give her that kind of power. When did I turn into such a drama queen? He liked tall, leggy women with long, flowing locks. Not petite spitfires with short hair and a bad attitude. She was not his type at all and he'd never been with a woman like her . . . well, there had been one woman, but that had ended badly years ago. They stared at each other for a long moment, and he felt sweat begin to gather on his brow when she showed no outward indication that his words had struck a nerve. Instead she moved forward as if she didn't have a care in the world and placed a white bag carefully in front of him. "Here's your lunch, Mr. Jackson. I'm sorry about the wait. The shop has been really busy this morning and we're short staffed. I added a few of those chocolate chip cookies that you like so much to make up for it." What in the hell was her play here? Cookies? What a bitch! Okay, so maybe that last part was a bit irrational, but how dare she come up to his office--his sanctuary--and be all nice to him? That wasn't the unspoken dynamic that they'd agreed on. Being civil to each other had no place in their relationship. Dammit, he knew he was staring at her with a confused expression on his face. He needed to come up with a clever retort, but he was drawing a blank. The fact that she continued to smile at him sweetly wasn't making it any easier. Think, man. Say something, anything. "Um . . . thanks, Dana." Shit, he'd called her by her actual name and been courteous. He was really making a mess of the whole situation. "Of course, Mr. Jackson." Then she further freaked him out by winking at him before adding, "There's plenty more cookies where those came from. I'll bring you some by soon." She turned for the door, giving him a perfect view of her delectable ass in the snug black slacks she was wearing. I like big butts and I can not lie. Then she busted him staring at her gorgeous backside when she looked over her shoulder suddenly. "Have a great day." With a twitch of her lips that let him know she'd caught him eyeing the goods, she left as quickly as she'd arrived. What in the fuck just happened? Ash slumped back into his chair feeling drained from the bizarre encounter. Truthfully, he'd have thought nothing of the exchange with one of the other ladies that usually delivered his food, but from Dana, it was off-the-charts weird. He had no idea what had changed, but he was uncomfortably aware that she'd somehow turned the tables on him. For if he wasn't mistaken, she'd declared war on him with--niceness. Who in the hell did something that awful? He eyed the bag on his desk as if it were a snake before grabbing it and tossing it in his trash can. There was no way he could risk eating that now. Okay, well, maybe the cookies were okay. He'd just get those out and have them for lunch. Then he'd do his best to figure out what had gone wrong. He needed to be prepared for the next attack. Hell, she'd probably do something horrifying like hug him, and that was simply unacceptable. Dana walked out of Ash's office and almost collided with Dylan's assistant, Lisa Merck. The other woman threw her hands up in the air as she asked, "What was that? I thought you were really going to give it to him. But you were so pleasant it made me gag." Patting Lisa's shoulder, Dana winked before saying, "I came up with a better plan. He gets off on being a bully and arguing with me. I decided to take that option away and see how he handled it." "And?" Lisa asked impatiently. "It sounded as if you were best friends now. Not that I was listening or anything. Just guessing." Dana smirked, knowing damn well that Lisa had been eavesdropping. She'd practically fallen in the door when Dana had opened it. She didn't blame her though. She'd have done the same thing. "I had an epiphany seconds before I planned to go on the attack. Ash likes being an asshole to me. If I had gone in there with guns blazing, then he would have risen to the occasion. Sure, I may have gotten in a few verbal slaps, but as always, he'd have won the battle. Then I would have been forced to slink away once again with my tail tucked between my legs. But by being the exact opposite of what he was expecting, it threw him off his game. He was rattled and didn't have a clue as to how to respond, which is a first for him where I'm concerned." Bouncing on her heels in excitement, Dana added, "I was the one in control from beginning to end and he knew it." Looking skeptical, Lisa asked, "So what . . . you're going to be nice from now on? You know he'll be prepared for that next time. I don't think it'll work again." Shaking her head, Dana said, "No, that's exactly what I won't do. I learned something today. Ash is used to people being predictable. And I've been playing right into his hands by doing the same thing every time. I toss out a few insults, then stomp off in a huff. So from now on, I have to keep him guessing. I want him so twisted up in the game that he doesn't know which end is up. That's the only way to engage an enemy like Ash and come out victorious. He needs to be so rattled that he takes a deep breath before he walks into the shop. I want him as uncertain as I've felt every time he's around. I took his power today and I'm keeping it. I'm no longer going to be pushed around by Asher Jackson. The king has been dethroned and I intend to make sure he stays that way." Pursing her lips, Lisa looked thoughtful for a moment before nodding her head in approval. "I like it. That's the beauty of men. They never expect a woman to attack, especially when it's not physical. You gotta love 'em, it's so easy to play mind games with them. They take everything so literal. I have to admit, sometimes I do similar stuff to my poor husband when he's made me mad. And even after all these years, he never sees it coming. It almost takes the fun out of it when I have to point it out to him. Men simply can't think outside the box where we're concerned. They constantly underestimate us. Unless you're throwing a physical punch, it sails right over their head." Nodding, Dana grinned. "I personally hope that never changes. I swear I almost lost it when I saw the look of utter confusion on Ash's face before I left. He honestly had no clue what to do or say and the man has never been at a loss for words around me before." Sniffling dramatically, she added, "It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life." "Then you really need to get out more," Lisa snorted. "But the man had it coming. I really have no clue why he treats you that way. He's never said anything remotely insulting to me or any of the staff in the office. Half of the women are in love with him. He's practically the golden boy. Dylan comments on it all the time. His brother is the Casanova of the Oceanix. But the man turns into Satan when he sees you, which is just bizarre. And from what I've gathered, it's been that way from the beginning." Dana's shoulders slumped as she admitted, "It has and I'd give anything to understand it. Other than Dylan, I've never had this effect on a man. The difference with the brothers though is that Dylan and I both know it's a game that we enjoy. But with Ash, it's plain dislike. It's as if I offended him before we ever met, which is impossible. We'd never crossed paths until the day we first met in the coffee shop. The times that he'd visited the resort previously, we had no interaction. Hell, considering how Dylan looks, I was excited to meet his brother. And drool was practically running down the corners of my mouth when he walked into the shop. Then he looked at me as if I was dirt beneath his feet before turning and stalking away. That set the tone for our entire relationship. Well, actually I could have lived with the silent disdain, but when he opened his mouth on the next visit, I learned it was possible to despise a man who looks like sex on a stick." Quirking a brow, Lisa asked, "So do you think it would be easier to deal with if he were ugly as opposed to hot?" "Hell yeah," Dana hissed. "If he were some kind of troll, I wouldn't get tongue-tied when he launches a verbal grenade. I mean, he's telling me I have a haircut like a dude and I'm so caught up staring into those blue eyes that he has to repeat the insult a few times until it gets through. I've never let a man make me feel this self-conscious, dammit. Not bragging, but if they have a penis, then they usually act interested around me." Snapping her fingers, Lisa said, "Maybe he's gay. That could be the answer to the whole mystery." Shaking her head, Dana sighed, "No, I already thought of that. According to Zoe, who got the information directly from Dylan, Ash has plenty of bed buddies and they're all female. I have to accept that it's simply me that he loathes." "Well, if it's any consolation, I think you're on to something with the whole niceness thing. If you can manage to continue doing it without puking, then you might be able to even the playing field." Perking back up, Dana gave Lisa a high five and then hurried back toward the shop. When she got there, Zoe was sitting at a nearby table with her husband. Normally Dana would have walked over and traded a few barbs with him, but her heart wasn't in it today. So instead she waved in their direction and walked behind the counter to help out with the lunch crowd. Despite the activity around her, a certain dark-haired, blue-eyed jerk remained on her mind for the rest of the afternoon. She vowed that, no matter what, she'd find out why the man detested her so much. After all, she had plenty of time on her hands; the opposite side of her bed had been vacant so long there were practically tumbleweeds sitting atop the sheets. I need to get laid, she decided. That's the only way I'll get him out of my head. Excerpted from Room for Two by Sydney Landon All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.
