It's ok that you're not ok Meeting grief and loss in a culture that doesn't understand

Megan Devine

Book - 2017

"In It's OK That You're Not OK, Megan Devine offers a profound new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we try to help others who have endured tragedy"--Amazon.com.

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Subjects
Published
Boulder, CO : Sounds True 2017.
Language
English
Physical Description
xix, 249 pages ; 21 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN
9781622039074
1622039076
Main Author
Megan Devine (author)
  • Foreword / by Mark Nepo
  • Part I. This is all just as crazy as you think it is
  • The reality of loss
  • The second half of the sentence: why words of comfort feel so bad
  • It's not you, it's us: our models of grief are broken
  • Emotional illiteracy and the culture of blame
  • The new model of grief
  • Part II. What to do with your grief
  • Living in the reality of loss
  • You can't solve grief, but you don't have to suffer
  • How (and why) to stay alive
  • What happened to my mind? Dealing with grief's physical side effects
  • Grief and anxiety: calming your mind when logic doesn't work
  • What does art have to do with anything?
  • Find your own image of "recovery"
  • Part III. When friends and family don't know what to do
  • Should you educate or ignore them?
  • Rallying your support team: helping them help you
  • Part IV. The way forward
  • The tribe of after: companionship, true hope, and the way forward
  • Love is the only thing that lasts
  • Appendix. How to help a grieving friend.
Review by Publisher Summary 1

Offers a new approach to the experience of grief, arguing that building a life alongside grief is more beneficial in the long-term rather than seeking to overcome it.

Review by Publisher Summary 2

As seen inTHE NEW YORK TIMES•READER'S DIGEST•SPIRITUALITY & HEALTH• HUFFPOSTFeatured on NPR's RADIO TIMES and WISCONSIN PUBLIC RADIO When a painful loss or life-shattering event upends your world, here is the first thing to know: there is nothing wrong with grief. "Grief is simply love in its most wild and painful form," says Megan Devine. "It is a natural and sane response to loss." So, why does our culture treat grief like a disease to be cured as quickly as possible? In It’s OK That You’re Not OK, Megan Devine offers a profound new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we try to help others who have endured tragedy. Having experienced grief from both sides—as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner—Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, "happy" life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it. In this compelling and heartful book, you’ll learn: • Why well-meaning advice, therapy, and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief • How challenging the myths of grief—doing away with stages, timetables, and unrealistic ideals about how grief should unfold—allows us to accept grief as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to solve • Practical guidance for managing stress, improving sleep, and decreasing anxiety without trying to "fix" your pain • How to help the people you love—with essays to teach us the best skills, checklists, and suggestions for supporting and comforting others through the grieving process Many people who have suffered a loss feel judged, dismissed, and misunderstood by a culture that wants to "solve" grief. Megan writes, "Grief no more needs a solution than love needs a solution." Through stories, research, life tips, and creative and mindfulness-based practices, she offers a unique guide through an experience we all must face—in our personal lives, in the lives of those we love, and in the wider world.It’s OK That You’re Not OK is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves—and each other—better.

Review by Publisher Summary 3

Megan Devine reveals a path for navigating grief and loss not by trying to escape it, but by learning to live inside it with more grace and skill. Through stories, research, life tips, and creative and mindfulness-based practices, she offers a unique guide through an experience we all must face. Here she debunks the idea of trying to "cure" grief, offering skills and tools to help us move forward through our own grief and provide genuine comfort to others experiencing intense loss.

Review by Publisher Summary 4

As seen inTHE NEW YORK TIMES•READER'S DIGEST•SPIRITUALITY & HEALTH• HUFFPOSTFeatured on NPR's RADIO TIMES and WISCONSIN PUBLIC RADIO When a painful loss or life-shattering event upends your world, here is the first thing to know: there is nothing wrong with grief. "Grief is simply love in its most wild and painful form," says Megan Devine. "It is a natural and sane response to loss." So, why does our culture treat grief like a disease to be cured as quickly as possible? In It’s OK That You’re Not OK, Megan Devine offers a profound new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we try to help others who have endured tragedy. Having experienced grief from both sides—as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner—Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, "happy" life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it. In this compelling and heartful book, you’ll learn: • Why well-meaning advice, therapy, and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief • How challenging the myths of grief—doing away with stages, timetables, and unrealistic ideals about how grief should unfold—allows us to accept grief as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to solve • Practical guidance for managing stress, improving sleep, and decreasing anxiety without trying to "fix" your pain • How to help the people you love—with essays to teach us the best skills, checklists, and suggestions for supporting and comforting others through the grieving process Many people who have suffered a loss feel judged, dismissed, and misunderstood by a culture that wants to "solve" grief. Megan writes, "Grief no more needs a solution than love needs a solution." Through stories, research, life tips, and creative and mindfulness-based practices, she offers a unique guide through an experience we all must face—in our personal lives, in the lives of those we love, and in the wider world.It’s OK That You’re Not OK is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves—and each other—better.