The co-parenting handbook Raising well-adjusted and resilient kids from little ones to young adults through divorce or separation
Book - 2017
"A practical manual for parents transitioning from being a married couple with children to being solely co-parents together. This guide helps them navigate difficult emotional terrain, create boundaries, and establish guidelines so that together they can be the parents their children deserve. The Co-Parenting Handbookhelps parents confidently take on the challenges of raising children when they live in separate homes. Addressing parents' questions about the emotional impact of separation, conflict, grief, and recovery, the author skillfully provides a roadmap for all members of the family to constructively navigate through separation/divorce and beyond. Through practical and reassuring guidance, parents discover how to move on fro...m being angry and hurt partners to constructive, successful co-parents who are able to put their children's needs first"--
Saved in:
- Subjects
- Published
-
Seattle :
Sasquatch Books
2017.
- Language
- English
- Main Author
- Physical Description
- xx, 267 pages ; 22 cm
- Bibliography
- Includes bibliographical references and index.
- ISBN
- 9781632171467
- Preface: Why This Book?
- A Note about Family
- Introduction
- Chapter 1. The Journey through Separation
- How Conflict Keeps Us Connected
- What It Means to Uncouple
- Separating "Spouse Mind" from "Parent Mind"
- Key to Healing: Avoiding or Managing Triggers, Rage, and Meltdowns
- Crafting a Separation Story: What Do We Tell the Neighbors?
- High Conflict: When Your Ex Is Stuck in Blame or Anger and Won't Talk to You
- Grief Isn't a Straight Path: Anger, Tears, and Acceptance
- Forgiveness: Is It Worth It? Is It Possible?
- Chapter 2. The Journey from Parenting Together to Co-Parenting Apart
- Parents' Feelings: Pacing the Process
- How Separation Impacts Parenting Style
- Gatekeeping
- Stepping Up and Stepping In
- The Value of Two Good-Enough Parents
- Co-Parenting as Allies, Not Enemies
- Co-Parenting Goals
- Your Co-Parenting Goals
- Chapter 3. The Journey through Separation for Kids
- Child Development and Adjusting to Separation
- What Your Child Needs Most (At Any Age)
- Don't Kids Deserve the Truth? Actually, No
- Explaining Separation in Kid Language
- Kids Caught in the Middle of Parental Conflict
- Fanning the Fire of Parental Conflict
- Kids as Spy or Private Eye: An Unhealthy Alliance
- Tips to Protect Kids from Parental Conflict
- Helping Children Work through Emotions
- When We Feel Too Much for Our Kids: Compassion Traps
- Answering Kids' Difficult Questions
- Chapter 4. Settling into a Two-Home Family
- Building a Secure Home Base in a Two-Home Family
- Two 100 Percent Parents on a Parenting Schedule
- A Clear Residential Schedule
- Guidelines for Managing Your Residential Schedule
- The Complexity of Co-Parenting Long Distance
- Child-Centered Transitions
- Good Co-Parenting Hygiene: Rules for the Co-Parenting Road
- Sovereign Time: Independent Parenting
- Helping Grandparents and Extended Family Join the Team
- What about Miss Kitty and Fido?
- Chapter 5. Communication Protocols that Work
- The Five Cs that Guide Respectful Communication
- Communication Protocols
- Modes of Communication
- Kids and Communication
- Chapter 6. Decision Making
- CEOs: Co-Parent Executive Officers
- Joint Decisions Made Jointly
- "Your Dad and I," "Your Mom and I"
- Day-to-Day Decision Making
- Responsible Informing
- Emergency Decisions
- Kids and Co-Parenting Decisions
- Child Care: Babysitters and Leaving Older Children Home Alone
- Chapter 7. Managing Finances
- CFOs: Co-Parent Financial Officers
- Educate Yourself: Co-Design a Plan and Implement with Integrity
- Anticipating Expenses
- Kids and Money Matters
- Clothing and Budgets
- Holidays, Birthdays, and Gifts
- Chapter 8. Co-Parenting at Holidays and Life-Cycle Events
- New Family Rituals Evolve over Time
- What about Birthdays?
- More Special Occasions
- Chapter 9. Co-Parenting in Public Spaces
- Emotional Readiness
- Sports and Extracurricular Activities
- School and School Events
- Faith-Community and Religious Practices
- Primary Health-Care and Dental Appointments
- Peer Birthday Parties
- Playmates and Their Families
- Other Family Events in Public Spaces
- Chapter 10. New Adults in Your Children's Lives
- Adult Relationships 101
- Introducing New Romantic Partners
- Growth and Development
- Timing, Pacing, and Adjustment
- Adult Sleepovers
- Romantic Partner or Stepparent?
- New Partners at Kid-Centered Public Events
- Chapter 11. The Co-Parenting Relationship: Skill, Acceptance, and Maturity
- Co-Parenting Relationships Develop over Time
- Impact of Changes in Circumstance
- Co-Parent Skills
- Co-Parent Styles
- What If I Worry that My Children Are Unsafe?
- The Key to a Difficult Co-Parent: Acceptance
- Chapter 12. Raising Well-Adjusted and Resilient Kids in a Two-Home Family
- Rebuild a Sense of Family Fun
- Believe Your Kids Will Do Great Things
- Love: The Balance of Nurturing and Discipline
- Involve Kids While Protecting Childhood
- Protect Your Children from Adult Problems
- The Seven Cs: Helping Kids Build Resilience
- Give Kids the Gift of a Happy Parent
- Acknowledgments
- Appendix
- Additional Resources
- Transition Communication Checklist
- Co-Parent Business Meeting Checklist
- Signs of Kid Distress
- What to Tell the Kids about a High-Conflict Co-Parent: Teach Four Big Skills
- Children and Chores: Suggestions for Tasks that Build Children's Skills and Confidence
- How Do I Get My Ex to Accept a New Stepparent for Our Kids?
- Choosing a Family Law Attorney
- Changing Your Parenting Plan: What to Consider When Things Aren't Going Well
- Inadvertently Harming Your Child's Relationship with the Other Parent
- Index