Growing friendships A kid's guide to making and keeping friends

Review by Booklist Review

For children and preteens, perhaps no other aspect of life is as stressful as making and maintaining friendships. The author team of Kennedy-Moore and McLaughlin offers sound advice from the perspectives of psychologist, parent, blogger, and therapist. Using fun cartoons, relatable stories, metaphors, and bulleted summaries, this provides basic skills training for kids looking to widen their social circles. From reaching out to make initial contact with potential friends, through navigating tricky situations and mitigating arguments, myriad issues are described. Readers are encouraged not to just follow prescribed advice but to consider the feelings of others and to use their own judgment in choosing a course of action. Many of these skills are important lifelong lessons that will benefit readers long after their adolescence. While skills like saying no and compromising may be intuitive to some, for many others, particularly those in their awkward preteens, the advice in the book will be invaluable. This is an authoritative and appealing resource for children working on fitting in and finding a tribe.--Anderson, Erin Copyright 2017 Booklist

From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.

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Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

Kennedy-Moore and McLaughlin highlight five skills-reaching out, stepping back, blending in, speaking up, and letting go-to help readers make and maintain friendships. Each chapter introduces a dilemma relating to one of 15 fictional kids: Aiden tries too hard to be funny, Susan assumes that others are being mean behind her back, and Mackenzie has trouble joining a group. Mingus's cartoon spot illustrations and comics sequences add humor and help illustrate various points (such as the "power difference" involved in bullying, versus other social conflicts). Multiple-choice quizzes and reader-directed questions ("Do you have a habit of apologizing when you didn't do anything wrong?") invite children to apply these ideas to their own developing relationships. Ages 6-9. Agent: Stefanie Von Borstel and Taylor Martindale Kean, Full Circle Literary. (July) © Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved

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Review by School Library Journal Review

Gr 2-6-This guide to friendships is simply illustrated and full of useful information. Written by a child psychologist and a professional parenting writer, this book goes over basic information explaining how body language and verbal signals can help signal the progression of a friendship. It provides basic coping skills for anxiety so that readers can attract more friends. There is also a section on bullying and learning to say no. The information is a lot to digest for a younger crowd, while the conflicts presented are too young for a middle grade audience. Recurring dog and cat mascots are supposed to provide a bit of levity but just end up being diverting. The section on blending in may put off more independent and individualistic types, and the section on anxiety isn't always clear about the feelings it's trying to help children cope with. Overall, though, the information is accurate and helpful. VERDICT A decent guide for younger middle grade collections, even adults could learn something from this book.-Kathryn Kania, Pelham Public Library, NH © Copyright 2017. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

(c) Copyright Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

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Review by Horn Book Review

An unusually practical guide to making friends, keeping friends, and knowing when to end a friendship. Clinical psychologist Kennedy-Moore and parenting writer McLaughlin offer tips on recognizing others' "stop signals," naturally joining activities, matching the tone of a conversation, and more. The dense black-and-white format may seem off-putting, but relevant cartoon scenarios, (eye-roll-inducing) jokes, and reflection questions break up a highly readable text. Reading list. Glos. (c) Copyright 2018. The Horn Book, Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

(c) Copyright The Horn Book, Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

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Review by Kirkus Book Review

A how-to book for making friends, if clear and entertaining as well as informative, could be a very useful tool.Many kids struggle with the myriad aspects of navigating the day-to-day complexity of interpersonal relationships. Combining real-life examples, attractive cartoon illustrations, and humorous commentary from a snarky cat and a friendly dog, this upbeat effort provides ample useful advice. Making friends and keeping them, dealing with bullying and distinguishing it from simple teasing, speaking up for oneself and others, being a good sport, figuring out how to join in a group activity (including choosing the right activity to join), and matching the tone of a conversation are just a few of the topics covered. The presentation is clear, reasonable, and specific enough to be practical, and it begins with very basic skills such as greeting others. Practice situations, including a couple where friends won't take no for an answer, provide opportunities to try new skills in low-stress situations. This handbook is highly recommended for high-functioning autistic children as well as anyone who suffers from social awkwardness. The cover depicts both a white and a black child. The simple chapter format makes it possible to just practice certain skills without having to read through the entire work. A fun handbook for any child who has ever wanted another friend but been uncertain how to accomplish that. (Nonfiction. 8-12) Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

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Growing Friendships 1 Take First Steps BRANDON'S CHALLENGE: FEELING ALONE Brandon wishes he had someone to play with at recess, but he doesn't know how to connect with others. His body language--looking away, standing apart, even tuning everyone out by reading his book--tells them, "I don't like you, and I don't want to hang out with you!" That's not what he's feeling, but that's the message he's sending. What can Brandon do to Reach Out to other kids and show them he's interested in being friends? SAYING HELLO Have you ever noticed what happens when you arrive at school? Kids say, "Hi!" And they don't just announce "Hi!" to the air. They greet specific people. They look them in the eye, they smile, and they often say the other person's name. Try this experiment: The next day you go to school, count how many greetings you hear. You may be surprised by how often kids greet each other. Greeting people tells them you're happy to see them. It's also important to smile and say hi back when someone greets you. If you look away and say nothing or just mumble something, the other person might think you don't want to be friends. You may want to practice friendly greetings. They won't instantly get you friends, but they open the door to friendship. The more you practice greetings, the more comfortable you'll feel doing them. Start by greeting family members. Then think of kids at school you can greet. Use your face and your body language to show that you're happy to see them. Use their names to make the greeting personal. And be ready to respond in a friendly way when someone greets you. WHY FRIENDLY GREETINGS MATTER Sometimes kids don't want to greet others because they worry that they won't get a response. They're afraid of feeling foolish or getting rejected and being embarrassed. But you'll stand out more if you don't greet people. You don't have to be best friends with people to greet them. You just have to know them a little bit and think they're nice. A friendly greeting takes only a few seconds but it goes a long way toward setting a positive tone and showing other kids that you're interested in being friends. What happens after "Hi!"? Keep doing friendly things to show that you like them. You can do these right after the greeting or later. Here are some ideas you can try: 1. Ask interested questions. Asking questions shows someone you want to know more about them. The best questions to ask begin with what or how because they tend to get longer answers that can lead to a conversation. One or two questions is usually enough at one time. More than that gets annoying. You don't want to turn the conversation into an interview! Avoid asking why questions because they can sound mean. It can seem like you're asking, "Why did you do such a dumb thing?!" even when you're not. 2. Give an honest compliment. It feels good to get a compliment, and we tend to like people who notice and appreciate our good qualities. Keep your eyes open for ways that you can compliment other kids. Compliments don't have to be long or complicated, but they must be honest. If someone gives you a compliment, be sure to smile and say, "Thanks!" 3. Do a small act of kindness. Being kind is a great way to start a friendship. An act of small kindness tells kids that you like them and it makes you feel good. Be careful not to give away money or favorite things of yours. If the act of kindness is too big, the other kids might feel pressured, and you might feel bad if they don't return the favor. Excerpted from Growing Friendships: A Kid's Guide to Making and Keeping Friends by Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Christine McLaughlin All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.

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