Loving, supporting, and caring for the cancer patient A guide to communication, compassion, and courage

Goldberg dedicates his book to his granddaughter, saying that he hopes her generation will find it irrelevant and ask, What was cancer, Grandpa?' Until then, family members and friends of people diagnosed with the disease can use any of his 270 suggestions and principles for helpful behaviors that go beyond just saying, I'm so sorry. Many seem simplistic and obvious, such as recognizing that change is frightening and slower is better. But others are good reminders, such as supporting a loved one's decision to stop life-extending treatment. Goldberg, a professor emeritus of communicative disorders at San Francisco State and a prolific author, draws heavily and wisely on his experience as a former hospice volunteer. For example, he notes that people often mistakenly think the need to communicate diminishes as people speak less as they approach death. Actually the reverse is true, he says. Silence in the dying is less a sign of not wishing to communicate and more a sign of uncertainty, fear, or regret. He notes that dying is not about you and advises people to grant forgiveness to loved ones who ask for it. Like his other recommendations, this one seems destined to help family members as well as terminal cancer patients feel better.--Springen, Karen Copyright 2017 Booklist