The book of joy Lasting happiness in a changing world

Bstan-ʼdzin-rgya-mtsho, 1935-

Book - 2016

Two leading spiritual masters share their wisdom about living with joy even in the face of adversity, sharing personal stories and teachings about the science of profound happiness and the daily practices that anchor their emotional and spiritual lives.

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Subjects
Published
New York : Avery [2016]
Language
English
Main Author
Bstan-ʼdzin-rgya-mtsho, 1935- (author)
Other Authors
Desmond Tutu (author), Douglas Carlton Abrams
Physical Description
x, 354 pages : illustrations ; 23 cm
ISBN
9780399185045
  • The Invitation to Joy
  • Introduction
  • Arrival: We Are Fragile Creatures
  • Day 1. The Nature of True Joy
  • Why Are You Not Morose?
  • Nothing Beautiful Comes Without Some Suffering
  • Have You Renounced Pleasure?
  • Our Greatest Joy
  • Lunch: The Meeting of Two Mischievous People Is Wonderful
  • Days 2&3. The Obstacles to Joy
  • You Are a Masterpiece in the Making
  • Fear, Stress, and Anxiety: I Would Be Very Nervous
  • Frustration and Anger: I Would Shout
  • Sadness and Grief: The Hard Times Knit Us More Closely Together
  • Despair: The World Is in Such Turmoil
  • Loneliness: No Need for Introduction
  • Envy: That Guy Goes Past Yet Again in His Mercedes-Benz
  • Suffering and Adversity: Passing through Difficulties
  • Illness and Fear of Death: I Prefer to Go to Hell
  • Meditation: Now I'll Tell You a Secret Thing
  • Days 4&5. The Eight Pillars of Joy
  • 1. Perspective: There Are Many Different Angles
  • 2. Humility: I Tried to Look Humble and Modest
  • 3. Humor: Laughter, Joking Is Much Better
  • 4. Acceptance: The Only Place Where Change Can Begin
  • 5. Forgiveness: Freeing Ourselves from the Past
  • 6. Gratitude: I Am Fortunate to Be Alive
  • 7. Compassion: Something We Want to Become
  • 8. Generosity: We Are Filled with Joy
  • Celebration: Dancing in the Streets of Tibet
  • Departure: A Final Goodbye
  • Joy Practices
  • Acknowledgments
Review by Booklist Review

Imagine being in the room for a conversation between two of the most recognizable spiritual leaders of modern times, Archbishop Desmond Tutu and His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Thanks to this book, readers can do more than imagine. The two deeply spiritual and surprisingly jovial friends came together for several days to discuss a range of topics compassion, suffering, loneliness, gratitude but always ultimately came back to their primary theme, joy. Over the course of their protracted conversation, the duo provides insight into their faiths' guiding principles, gently disagreeing at times but more frequently finding common ground and spending some time teasing each other in the process. For all of their protestations that they are both just regular men, there is no doubt that each is something special. Readers will come away with great hope and gratitude for being welcomed into the conversation.--Engel, Christine Copyright 2016 Booklist

From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

Cultivating joy was the subject of a five-day conversation between the Dalai Lama and Tutu, Archbishop Emeritus of South Africa, held in 2015 at the former's residence in exile in Dharamsala, India. The two Nobel Peace Prize recipients argued for a "true joy that was not dependent on the vicissitudes of circumstance," writes Abrams, who moderated the rare meeting between the two friends on the occasion of the Dalai Lama's 80th birthday. Highlighting the men's playful joking and delight in each other's company, Abrams carefully balances their strong voices during intense discussions on the many obstacles to joy (including fear, anger, and adversity) and ways to cultivate greater well-being, using as a framework the "eight pillars of joy" (perspective, humility, humor, acceptance, forgiveness, gratitude, compassion, and generosity). Throughout, Abrams skillfully incorporates information about each leader's life and work, basic Buddhist principles undergirding the Dalai Lama's perspectives, and current scientific research. The dialogue intentionally focuses on areas of common ground accessible to readers of any faith or none, though Christians can be assured that Tutu's contributions are infused with his deep love of God. This sparkling, wise, and immediately useful gift to readers from two remarkable spiritual masters offers hope that joy is possible for everyone even in the most difficult circumstances, and describes a clear path for attaining it. (Sept.) © Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.


Review by Library Journal Review

This narrative recounts a multiday meeting of two highly regarded spiritual leaders and dear friends-the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu-during which they discussed living a life filled with joy. Despite coming from two different spiritual traditions, the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu approach the cultivation of joy in similar ways. Both believe that suffering is inevitable and serves as an obstacle to experiencing joy. In addition, they recognize the interconnectedness of human beings, and how a compassionate approach helps us to alleviate pain not only for others but also for ourselves. Joy, for them, is manifested internally and transcends happiness, which is often dependent upon external circumstances. Cowriter Douglas Abrams (God's Dream) weaves scientific findings related to emotions and the brain throughout the work. Several joy practices are included for those who are seeking a practical complement to the anecdotal, philosophical, and scientific perspectives presented. VERDICT Not just for fans of the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu but for anyone seeking to cultivate compassion and joy in the face of daily reminders of divisiveness around the world.-Amanda Folk, Univ. of Pittsburgh Lib., Greensburg © Copyright 2016. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

(c) Copyright Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

"Is joy a feeling that comes and surprises us, or is it a more dependable way of being?" I asked. "For the two of you, joy seems to be something much more enduring. Your spiritual practice hasn't made you somber and serious. It's made you more joyful. So how can people cultivate that sense of joy as a way of being, and not just a temporary feeling?"   The Archbishop and the Dalai Lama looked at each other and the Archbishop gestured to the Dalai Lama. The Dalai Lama squeezed the Archbishop's hand and began. "Yes, it is true. Joy is something different from happiness. When I use the word happiness, in a sense I mean satisfaction. Sometimes we have a painful experience, but that experience, as you've said with birth, can bring great satisfaction and joyfulness."   "Let me ask you," the Archbishop jumped in. "You've been in exile fifty-what years?" "Fifty-six." "Fifty-six years from a country that you love more than anything else. Why are you not morose?" "Morose?" the Dalai Lama asked, not understanding the word. As Jinpa hurried to translate morose into Tibetan, the Archbishop clarified, "Sad."   The Dalai Lama took the Archbishop's hand in his, as if comforting him while reviewing these painful events. The Dalai Lama's storied discovery as the reincarnation of the Dalai Lama meant that at the age of two, he was swept away from his rural home in the Amdo province of eastern Tibet to the one-thousand-room Potala Palace in the capital city of Lhasa. There he was raised in opulent isolation as the future spiritual and political leader of Tibet and as a godlike incarnation of the Bodhisattva of Compassion. After the Chinese invasion of Tibet in 1950, the Dalai Lama was thrust into politics. At the age of fifteen he found himself the ruler of six million people and facing an all-out and desperately unequal war. For nine years he tried to negotiate with Communist China for his people's welfare, and sought political solutions as the country came to be annexed. In 1959, during an uprising that risked resulting in a massacre, the Dalai Lama decided, with a heavy heart, to go into exile. The odds of successfully escaping to India were frighteningly small, but to avoid a confrontation and a bloodbath, he left in the night dressed as a palace guard. He had to take off his recognizable glasses, and his blurred vision must have heightened his sense of fear and uncertainty as the escape party snuck by garrisons of the People's Liberation Army. They endured sandstorms and snowstorms as they summited nineteen-thousand-foot mountain peaks during their three-week escape.   "One of my practices comes from an ancient Indian teacher," the Dalai Lama began answering the Archbishop's question. "He taught that when you experience some tragic situation, think about it. If there's no way to overcome the tragedy, then there is no use worrying too much. So I practice that." The Dalai Lama was referring to the eighth-century Buddhist master Shantideva, who wrote, "If something can be done about the situation, what need is there for dejection? And if nothing can be done about it, what use is there for being dejected?"   The Archbishop cackled, perhaps because it seemed almost too incredible that someone could stop worrying just because it was pointless.   "Yes, but I think people know it with their head." He touched both index fingers to his scalp. "You know, that it doesn't help worrying. But they still worry."    "Many of us have become refugees," the Dalai Lama tried to explain, "and there are a lot of difficulties in my own country. When I look only at that," he said, cupping his hands into a small circle, "then I worry." He widened his hands, breaking the circle open. "But when I look at the world, there are a lot of problems, even within the People's Republic of China. For example, the Hui Muslim community in China has a lot of problems and suffering. And then outside China, there are many more problems and more suffering. When we see these things, we realize that not only do we suffer, but so do many of our human brothers and sisters. So when we look at the same event from a wider perspective, we will reduce the worrying and our own suffering."   I was struck by the simplicity and profundity of what the Dalai Lama was saying. This was far from "don't worry, be happy," as the popular Bobby McFerrin song says. This was not a denial of pain and suffering, but a shift in perspective--from oneself and toward others, from anguish to compassion--seeing that others are suffering as well. The remarkable thing about what the Dalai Lama was describing is that as we recognize others' suffering and realize that we are not alone, our pain is lessened.   Often we hear about another's tragedy, and it makes us feel better about our own situation. This is quite different from what the Dalai Lama was doing. He was not contrasting his situation with others, but uniting his situation with others, enlarging his identity and seeing that he and the Tibetan people were not alone in their suffering. This recognition that we are all connected--whether Tibetan Buddhists or Hui Muslims--is the birth of empathy and compassion.   I wondered how the Dalai Lama's ability to shift his perspective might relate to the adage "Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Was it truly possible to experience pain, whether the pain of an injury or an exile, without suffering? There is a Sutta, or teaching of the Buddha, called the Sallatha Sutta, that makes a similar distinction between our "feelings of pain" and "the suffering that comes as a result of our response" to the pain: "When touched with a feeling of pain, the uninstructed, ordinary person sorrows, grieves, and laments, beats his breast, becomes distraught. So he feels two pains, physical and mental. Just as if they were to shoot a man with an arrow and, right afterward, were to shoot him with another one, so that he feels the pain of two arrows." It seems that the Dalai Lama was suggesting that by shifting our perspective to a broader, more compassionate one, we can avoid the worry and suffering that is the second arrow.   "Then another thing," the Dalai Lama continued. "There are different aspects to any event. For example, we lost our own country and became refugees, but that same experience gave us new opportunities to see more things. For me personally, I had more opportunities to meet with different people, different spiritual practitioners, like you, and also scientists. This new opportunity arrived because I became a refugee. If I remained in the Potala in Lhasa, I would have stayed in what has often been described as a golden cage: the Lama, holy Dalai Lama." He was now sitting up stiffly as he once had to when he was the cloistered spiritual head of the Forbidden Kingdom.   "So, personally, I prefer the last five decades of refugee life. It's more useful, more opportunity to learn, to experience life. Therefore, if you look from one angle, you feel, oh how bad, how sad. But if you look from another angle at that same tragedy, that same event, you see that it gives me new opportunities. So, it's wonderful. That's the main reason that I'm not sad and morose. There's a Tibetan saying: 'Wherever you have friends that's your country, and wherever you receive love, that's your home.'" Excerpted from The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World by Desmond Tutu, Douglas Carlton Abrams, Dalai Lama XIV All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.