Negotiating the nonnegotiable : how to resolve your most emotionally charged conflicts

Negotiating the nonnegotiable How to resolve your most emotionally charged conflicts

Daniel Shapiro, 1971-

Book - 2016

""A masterpiece--clear, insightful, and practical. Highly recommended!"--William Ury, coauthor of Getting to Yes and author of Getting to Yes with Yourself Find out how to successfully resolve your most emotionally charged conflicts. In this landmark book, world-renowned Harvard negotiation expert Daniel Shapiro presents a groundbreaking, practical method to reconcile your most contentious relationships and untangle your toughest conflicts. Before you get into your next conflict, read Negotiating the Nonnegotiable. It is not just "another book on conflict resolution," but a crucial step-by-step guide to resolve life's most emotionally challenging conflicts--whether between spouses, a parent and child, a boss an...d an employee, or rival communities or nations. These conflicts can feel nonnegotiable because they threaten your identity and trigger what Shapiro calls the Tribes Effect, a divisive mind-set that pits you against the other side. Once you fall prey to this mind-set, even a trivial argument with a family member or colleague can mushroom into an emotional uproar. Shapiro offers a powerful way out, drawing on his pioneering research and global fieldwork in consulting for everyone from heads of state to business leaders, embattled marital couples to families in crisis. And he also shares his insights from negotiating with three of the world's toughest negotiators--his three young sons. This is a must read to improve your professional and personal relationships"--

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Subjects
Negotiation.
Emotions.
Conflict management.
Interpersonal relations.
Published
New York : Viking 2016.
Language
English
Main Author
Daniel Shapiro, 1971- (author)
Physical Description
xvi, 319 pages ; 24 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographical references (pages 241-309) and index.
ISBN
9780670015566
9780399564406
  • Introduction: Why This Book?
  • Section 1. The Tribes Effect
  • 1. The Hidden Power of Identity
  • 2. The Dual Nature of Identity
  • 3. A Way Forward
  • Section 2. The Five Lures of the Tribal Mind
  • 4. Vertigo
  • 5. Repetition Compulsion
  • 6. Taboos
  • 7. Assault on the Sacred
  • 8. Identity Politics
  • Section 3. Bridging the Divide
  • 9. Integrative Dynamics-a Four-Step Method
  • 10. Uncover Your Mythos of Identity
  • 11. Work Through Emotional Pain
  • 12. Build Crosscutting Connections
  • 13. Reconfigure the Relationship
  • Section 4. Reconciling Irreconcilable Differences
  • 14. Managing Dialectics
  • 15. Fostering the Spirit of Reconciliation
  • Acknowledgments
  • Appendices
  • Notes
  • Select Bibliography
  • Index
Review by Booklist Review

Shapiro, an international expert on conflict resolution, has worked with businesspersons, politicians, and youth groups, training negotiators to remove emotion from discussions. It is important, according to the author, to focus on the space between the conflicting sides in which a solution can be found. Most readers won't be facing the Middle East Crisis, but we all have situations at home, at work, and in the community in which these techniques could be useful. Shapiro begins by explaining the Tribes Effect, the force that binds each of us to our communal identity. The same beliefs that bring us together, however, also separate us from other tribes. The author details the lures of the tribal mind (compulsive patterns, taboos, sacred beliefs) and offers concrete suggestions on ways to break the pull of these emotional forces, build consensus, and finally bridge the gap between conflicting sides when the ultimate goal is reconciliation of the parties. Personal and global anecdotes bring warmth to the narration, and Shapiro's keen insights give readers a blueprint for successful negotiation.--Smith, Candace Copyright 2016 Booklist

From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.

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