The awakened family A revolution in parenting

Shefali Tsabary, 1972-

Book - 2016

"New from the New York Times bestselling author of The Conscious Parent comes a radically transformative plan that shows parents how to raise children to be their best, truest selves,"--Amazon.com.

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Subjects
Published
New York, New York : Viking [2016]
Language
English
Main Author
Shefali Tsabary, 1972- (author)
Physical Description
xii, 348 pages ; 24 cm
ISBN
9780399563966
  • Part 1. A New Awakening
  • Chapter 1. Learning a New Way
  • The Roar of the Ego
  • How Fear Drives Our Anxiety, Anger, and Other Reactions to Our Children
  • The Part Played by Your Past
  • Is It Your Child, or Is It You?
  • How Our Children Are Our Awakeners
  • A Shift of Focus
  • Chapter 2. How the Culture Sets Up Parents to Fail
  • When Caring Feels Like Control
  • The Clash of Time Zones
  • What Children Really Need
  • Chapter 3. The Invisible Triggers of Our Reactivity
  • The Roots of Our Triggers
  • The Parental Kool-Aid
  • Part 2. Our Parenting Myths
  • Chapter 4. Myth #1: Parenting Is About the Child
  • The Problem with Child-Centric Parenting
  • The Tyranny of "Too"
  • Is Parenting Really an Unselfish Act?
  • Dare to Raise Yourself First
  • Chapter 5. Myth #2: A Successful Child Is Ahead of the Curve
  • Agenda-Driven Fun
  • The Curve Shows Up Everywhere
  • The Double-Edged Sword of "Reaching for One's Potential"
  • The "Unpotentialized" Child
  • Putting Things in Perspective
  • Chapter 6. Myth #3: There Are Good Children and Bad Children
  • Is It Defiance or Defensiveness?
  • Double Standards
  • Chapter 7. Myth #4: Good Parents Are Naturals
  • Moving from the Fantasy of Parenting to Reality
  • Chapter 8. Myth #5: A Good Parent Is a Loving One
  • Love Is Only a Beginning
  • When Love Doesn't Feel Like Love to a Child
  • Rethinking Our Ideas About Love
  • Chapter 9. Myth #6: Parenting Is About Raising a Happy Child
  • Engaging Life "As Is"-Being Versus Doing
  • Learning About Happiness from Children
  • Chapter 10. Myth #7: Parents Need to Be in Control
  • Understanding the Limits of Our Control
  • Reframing the Concept of Control in Order to Raise Real Humans
  • Part 3. Understanding Our Reactivity
  • Chapter 11. Raising the Real Child
  • How I Began to Awaken
  • Recognizing the Call of the Lost Self
  • Befriending Our Lost Self
  • Discovering Your Family's Emotional Blueprint
  • Chapter 12. What's Really Behind Our Reactions
  • Typical Pathways for the Expression of Fear
  • The Core of Our Fear
  • Entering Trust, Abundance, and Empowerment
  • Chapter 13. Transforming Fear into Consciousness
  • Emerging from the Shadows of the Past
  • Letting Go of Fantasy Parents
  • Separating Love from Fear
  • A New Path Lights Up Ahead of Us
  • Part 4. Transformative Parenting Skills
  • Chapter 14. From Expectations to Engagement
  • The Problem with Well-intentioned Expectations
  • What's the Unmet Expectation?
  • Out of the Head and into the Heart
  • The Dance of Nonduality
  • The Freedom of Engaging
  • Transforming Expectation into Engaging
  • Chapter 15. From Mindless Reaction to Mindful Presence
  • Entering the Present Moment
  • The Power of Impermanence
  • The Abundance of the 'As Is"
  • Your Reaction Is Your Child's Trigger
  • Transforming Reaction to Authentic Expression
  • Chapter 16. From Chaos to Stillness
  • The Power of Silence
  • When Talking Creates Trouble-and the Value of Deep Listening
  • Discovering the Power of Your Presence
  • Making Time for Time
  • Chapter 17. From Role to No-Role
  • Tapping Into the Guidance of the Universe
  • Entering the No-Role Zone: Insights from Nature
  • The Power of the Antidote
  • The Power of the Container
  • Creating Rooms of Light
  • Chapter 18. From Emotions to Feelings
  • Creating a Direct Path to Feeling
  • Chapter 19. From Enmeshment to Autonomy
  • The Pitfall of Emotional Fusion
  • Developing Emotional Autonomy
  • Don't Fear Dissent
  • Embracing Pain
  • Chapter 12. From Judgment to Empathy
  • What Empathy Really Means
  • How to Empathically Address the Realities of Life
  • Empathy Does Not Mean Collusion
  • Decluttering Your Inner Landscape
  • Chapter 21. From Discipline to Enlightened Boundaries
  • You Cannot Set a Boundary You Don't Have
  • What's the Higher Purpose of Your Boundary?
  • Where Do Consequences and Punishment Fit In?
  • The Power of Clear Limits and Boundaries
  • The Mechanics of Holding a Limit
  • How Do Natural and Logical Consequences Really Work?
  • What's Your Embodiment Quotient?
  • Entering the Zone of Zero Hypocrisy
  • Redefining Discipline
  • Chapter 22. From the Battlefield to the Negotiation Table
  • Listening for the Untold Desire
  • Moving Away from Blind Indulgence
  • From Winning to Win-Win
  • Ending Sibling Wars
  • Subduing Divorce Drama
  • Red Flag Alert: Getting on a New Highway
  • The Courage to Be a Warrior of Peace
  • Epilogue: Shedding Skin, Shedding Light
  • Appendix: Thirty Daily Reminders to Build Consciousness
  • Acknowledgments
Review by Booklist Review

*Starred Review* Best-selling author and speaker Tsabary combines the spirit of Thich Nhat Hahn's 1975 classic, Miracle of Mindfulness, with an intensive family-therapy session and the result is a transforming read for any parent. Only when we can separate our fantasies concerning who our children should be from who they actually are can we do justice to their original essence and craft our parenting to allow for this to flourish, says Tsabary. She focuses on the parents' awareness rather than the child's behavior. If you've ever experienced an imperfect parenting moment, or lashed out in anger as the result of a trigger from your own childhood, you'll be comforted to learn that you aren't alone. The author uses examples from her extensive therapy career, nonjudgmental we language, and stories from her own parenting experience to demonstrate her ideas. She takes complex psychology and transforms it into practical, perspective-changing advice. Helpful steps for change are highlighted after each section, and thoughtful poems are also provided for reflection. Copies of Tsabary's best-selling book The Conscious Parent (2010) are still circulating, and she has had appearances on TEDx and Oprah. The Awakened Family is sure to be popular in public library parenting collections.--McIntosh, Joyce Copyright 2016 Booklist

From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

"Parent, heal thyself" is the bold challenge in Tsabary's sequel to her bestselling The Conscious Parent. Tsabary teaches that even the most well-intentioned parental aspirations and expectations can stifle the development and expression of children's authentic selves. She posits that ongoing difficult behavior in children often comes from parents' immature reactions rooted in unresolved hurts, fears, and patterns from their own childhoods. Her solution takes aim at anxiety-producing cultural myths about parenting, replacing the need for control with mindful presence and self-understanding. Tsabary's calm, explanatory approach acknowledges that parents can have a hard time regulating their behavior when provoked. She has the rare ability to inspire parental reflectiveness about adult responsibilities without making the reader feel blamed, belittled, or overwhelmed. Realistic examples of everyday interactions demonstrate how family relationships can be moved to a place of partnership, empathy, and growth. Readers of Tsabary's first book will find this follow-up useful and encouraging, and those starting here will find everything they need without having to refer back. Tsabary's message is an antidote to recent trends such as for "helicopter parenting," teaching respect for children as people in their own right and urging parents to let them thrive. Agent: Jennifer Rudolph Walsh, William Morris Endeavor. (June) © Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved