- Subjects
- Published
-
New York, New York :
Viking
[2016]
- Language
- English
- Main Author
- Physical Description
- xii, 348 pages ; 24 cm
- ISBN
- 9780399563966
- Part 1. A New Awakening
- Chapter 1. Learning a New Way
- The Roar of the Ego
- How Fear Drives Our Anxiety, Anger, and Other Reactions to Our Children
- The Part Played by Your Past
- Is It Your Child, or Is It You?
- How Our Children Are Our Awakeners
- A Shift of Focus
- Chapter 2. How the Culture Sets Up Parents to Fail
- When Caring Feels Like Control
- The Clash of Time Zones
- What Children Really Need
- Chapter 3. The Invisible Triggers of Our Reactivity
- The Roots of Our Triggers
- The Parental Kool-Aid
- Part 2. Our Parenting Myths
- Chapter 4. Myth #1: Parenting Is About the Child
- The Problem with Child-Centric Parenting
- The Tyranny of "Too"
- Is Parenting Really an Unselfish Act?
- Dare to Raise Yourself First
- Chapter 5. Myth #2: A Successful Child Is Ahead of the Curve
- Agenda-Driven Fun
- The Curve Shows Up Everywhere
- The Double-Edged Sword of "Reaching for One's Potential"
- The "Unpotentialized" Child
- Putting Things in Perspective
- Chapter 6. Myth #3: There Are Good Children and Bad Children
- Is It Defiance or Defensiveness?
- Double Standards
- Chapter 7. Myth #4: Good Parents Are Naturals
- Moving from the Fantasy of Parenting to Reality
- Chapter 8. Myth #5: A Good Parent Is a Loving One
- Love Is Only a Beginning
- When Love Doesn't Feel Like Love to a Child
- Rethinking Our Ideas About Love
- Chapter 9. Myth #6: Parenting Is About Raising a Happy Child
- Engaging Life "As Is"-Being Versus Doing
- Learning About Happiness from Children
- Chapter 10. Myth #7: Parents Need to Be in Control
- Understanding the Limits of Our Control
- Reframing the Concept of Control in Order to Raise Real Humans
- Part 3. Understanding Our Reactivity
- Chapter 11. Raising the Real Child
- How I Began to Awaken
- Recognizing the Call of the Lost Self
- Befriending Our Lost Self
- Discovering Your Family's Emotional Blueprint
- Chapter 12. What's Really Behind Our Reactions
- Typical Pathways for the Expression of Fear
- The Core of Our Fear
- Entering Trust, Abundance, and Empowerment
- Chapter 13. Transforming Fear into Consciousness
- Emerging from the Shadows of the Past
- Letting Go of Fantasy Parents
- Separating Love from Fear
- A New Path Lights Up Ahead of Us
- Part 4. Transformative Parenting Skills
- Chapter 14. From Expectations to Engagement
- The Problem with Well-intentioned Expectations
- What's the Unmet Expectation?
- Out of the Head and into the Heart
- The Dance of Nonduality
- The Freedom of Engaging
- Transforming Expectation into Engaging
- Chapter 15. From Mindless Reaction to Mindful Presence
- Entering the Present Moment
- The Power of Impermanence
- The Abundance of the 'As Is"
- Your Reaction Is Your Child's Trigger
- Transforming Reaction to Authentic Expression
- Chapter 16. From Chaos to Stillness
- The Power of Silence
- When Talking Creates Trouble-and the Value of Deep Listening
- Discovering the Power of Your Presence
- Making Time for Time
- Chapter 17. From Role to No-Role
- Tapping Into the Guidance of the Universe
- Entering the No-Role Zone: Insights from Nature
- The Power of the Antidote
- The Power of the Container
- Creating Rooms of Light
- Chapter 18. From Emotions to Feelings
- Creating a Direct Path to Feeling
- Chapter 19. From Enmeshment to Autonomy
- The Pitfall of Emotional Fusion
- Developing Emotional Autonomy
- Don't Fear Dissent
- Embracing Pain
- Chapter 12. From Judgment to Empathy
- What Empathy Really Means
- How to Empathically Address the Realities of Life
- Empathy Does Not Mean Collusion
- Decluttering Your Inner Landscape
- Chapter 21. From Discipline to Enlightened Boundaries
- You Cannot Set a Boundary You Don't Have
- What's the Higher Purpose of Your Boundary?
- Where Do Consequences and Punishment Fit In?
- The Power of Clear Limits and Boundaries
- The Mechanics of Holding a Limit
- How Do Natural and Logical Consequences Really Work?
- What's Your Embodiment Quotient?
- Entering the Zone of Zero Hypocrisy
- Redefining Discipline
- Chapter 22. From the Battlefield to the Negotiation Table
- Listening for the Untold Desire
- Moving Away from Blind Indulgence
- From Winning to Win-Win
- Ending Sibling Wars
- Subduing Divorce Drama
- Red Flag Alert: Getting on a New Highway
- The Courage to Be a Warrior of Peace
- Epilogue: Shedding Skin, Shedding Light
- Appendix: Thirty Daily Reminders to Build Consciousness
- Acknowledgments
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review