Lily was having a picnic with her father and her little sister, Ruby, but it wasn't much fun. "Get off, Ruby," Lily said, and pushed her sister. "Hey, take it easy," said her father. He scooped Ruby into his arms.Lily kept her head down and cleaned up the pieces, some of which were pennies and nickels because Ruby had lost the checkers, and she folded the board back into its box, which was more flat than box shaped because Ruby had been sitting on it. It's not fair, Lily thought, Ruby ruins everything and she gets all of the attention, "Here," said her father,. He slid a book from the stack in the picnic basket and handed it to Lily. "Take a look." "It looks like a journal," Lily said, flipping through its pages, "but with drawings." "It is a journal," said her father. "It belonged to my grandfather." Lily stopped at a sketch of a boy on a bicycle. In the background was a lily pond, and at the top of the page in faded pencil, the date. June 4, 1923. "That was a long time ago," Lily lay down on the blanket and turned the page. .June 4, 1923 Today started out like any other day. It was warm and damp from the morning rain and I was in in my secret hideout counting crickets. That's when my sister barged in, frightening the insects. "Get out, Cam," I said. "You can't stay here." "Yes I can," she insisted. "No you can't!" I shouted. "GO AWAY!" Cam ran towards the house. I already knew how this would turn out. "Lanh?" My mother called. "Let your sister play with you." "But, Mom…it's my--!" "Let her in, Lanh!" "It's not fair, Mom. She always--" "I said, let her in. Now!" Cam came running back in, this time kicking dirt and soot all over my fort. Some of the bugs jumped out and I did too. I ran to the end of the yard, to my bike, and rode away from home. The road through the village was muddy, and each time I saw a puddle, I made sure to ride through it. Standing up on the pedals, I soared past the town, past the people. Whoosh went the world. The further I rode, the taller the grass grew. Soon it was taller than I was, filled with the chirping of crickets and frogs. The mud was thick, and I was tired and hot, but I pushed and pedaled until I made it to the end of the path, to a pond covered with… "WATER LILIES," Lily whispered. At the pond's edge, I used a stick to poke at a water lily and its tangled roots. I was hoping to find a frog or turtle or something, but all that I saw was my own face, flushed and mud-splattered, staring back at me from the water. "Nothing's going right today," I grumbled, and threw the stick through my reflection. "Hey, watch it!" someone said. I jumped back and looked around the pond. "Who said that?" I called out. "Who's there?" "It's me, over here!" The voice said. "You were just looking at me." Perched on top of the lily pad was a large frog-like creature. It bounced on two long legs and waved its arms over its head. "Who are you?" I asked. "And where did you come from?" "You should know. You woke me." "I didn't mean to wake anybody. I was just looking for frogs." "That's what they all say… 'I didn't mean to wake you, Anger… I just couldn't help it, Anger…It wasn't my fault, Anger, blah…blah…blah...blah…blah!'" "You're my anger?" "Well, who else would I be?" Anger said and brushed some pondweed from his slick skin. I looked carefully at the creature. I had never seen my anger before, and I wasn't sure what to do. "Here," he said to me, and extended the stick across the water. "Can you give me a hand?" "I was sort of hoping to be alone," I said. "But we are alone," said Anger. "No, I meant ALONE alone. Can you just go back to wherever you came from?" "I wish I could, but it's not up to me," said Anger. "Now, grab hold, would you?" I took the other end of the stick, and as I pulled it towards me, Anger leapt through the air, across the water and landed right in my arms. "I think you're going to have to take care of me for a little while," Anger said. "I don't want to take care of anyone," I told him. I put him down and we walked around the pond, not talking to each other. I thought that if I ignored Anger he might go away, but the more I ignored him, the more of a nuisance he became. "Look," Anger said after a while, "I'm not thrilled to be with you either. I'd much prefer to be back where it's dark, where I don't have to talk to anybody, but for now, we're stuck with each other, and frankly, you're not being a very good host." "If you want to go, just go," I said. "It's not that simple," said Anger. "Sure it is," I said, and gave Anger a little shove into the pond. "See?" But before I took my next step, Anger was back at my side. "Oh," I said. "Told you," said Anger. I tried to skip stones, but with Anger in the way, it wasn't any fun. I tried to run, but Anger grabbed me and held on tight. I tried to shake him off and throw him down, but it was no use. He wouldn't let go. We walked this way until we couldn't walk any longer. Anger was getting heavier and my stomach was starting to hurt. "Anger," I said, "I don't feel so good. There must be something that I can do to get you off my back." Anger loosened his grip around my shoulders and slid to his feet. "Well… now that you mention it, there is something you can do." "And you've waited all this time to tell me!" "You weren't ready before." "Well, I'm ready now." "Okay," said Anger, "but you might not like it." "I'll like it! I promise! Just tell me! What is it? What do I have to do?" Anger plopped to the ground and settled into a cross-legged position. "All you have to do," he said, "is find Metta." "Metta?" "Yeah, Metta." "Who's Metta?" "Metta's not a 'who,'" Anger said, and he settled to the ground and into a cross-legged position. "What are you doing?" I asked him. "Looking for Metta, of course." "With your eyes shut?" "Sometimes I see better this way. I'm less distracted." "Oh," I said. I shielded the sun from my eyes, and scanned the pond, the way a sea captain would the sea. Anger opened his eyes and looked at me. "What? What is it?" I said. "Do you see Metta?" Anger shook his head. "Metta isn't something that you can see." "Anger," I said, and flopped back on the grass. "You know what I wish? What I really, really wish?" "Yes," Anger nodded. "I do." "I don't think that's going to happen," said Anger. "I know, but sometimes don't you just wish that she would disappear and stay out of our stuff, and --" "--AND NEVER BUG US AGAIN!" Anger yelled and sprung to his feet. "Anger," I said, "I don't think this is working." "I can see that," he said. "I think we should try a different angle," I said to him. Anger rolled onto his side. "How's this?" he asked. "That's not what I meant." "Okay then, how about this?" Anger sat up straight and closed his eyes. He got very still, and took in a deep breath. Slowly, he let it go. "Cam," he said, "I wish that you would go away, and never, ever--" I buried my face in my hands. "What? Come on," exclaimed Anger. "You try it." I sat up next to Anger and leaned my back against his. I took in a deep breath and he did the same. I closed my eyes to the hot sun and slowly, very slowly, we breathed together, in and out, in and out, in and out. "Maybe you do want Cam to be happy?" said Anger. "Maybe I do," I said. "And strong." Anger nodded. "You want her to be strong." "Well, yeah… but not as strong as--" "And safe," he said, "You want her to be safe." "It would seem that way," I said. "I shouldn't be the one to say this," said Anger, "but I think that you want Cam to live with"-- and he stopped in the middle of his sentence, looked around and then whispered something into my ear. "What did you say?" I asked him. "I'd rather not say it again," Anger said. "It's not my favorite word." "You think I want Cam to live with peas?" "No, not peas," Anger shook his head. "Well, that's good, because Cam doesn't even like peas." "I love them," Anger said, chomping on a piece of lemongrass. "I'll eat anything." "You're awfully quiet," Anger said to me. "I was just thinking." "About peas?" "No. I was thinking about, you know, how nice it is to just sit quietly… I sort of like the --" "Don't say it!" Anger said, and he covered his ears with his hands. "Cam would like it too," I whispered, and I think Anger agreed because slowly, he nodded his head. Side by side, we sat. We watched the water lilies. The air was sweet, like pineapple, its little breezes cool against our skin and together, we repeated our wishes for Cam. Breathing in, "Cam," breathing out, "May you be happy." Breathing in, "Cam," breathing out, "May you be strong." Breathing in, "Cam," breathing out, "May you be safe." Breathing in, "Cam," breathing out, "May you live with--" Anger stopped but I kept going. "Don't worry," I whispered, "I can say it for both of us…peace, may you live with peace." I smiled at Anger, and smiling back, he closed his eyes. When I got tired, I closed my eyes too, and silently, I repeated the wishes for myself. May I be happy. May I be strong. May I be safe. May I live with peace. The crickets and the frogs were getting louder and my breath more steady as it moved slowly, in and back out again. May I be happy… May I be strong… May I be safe… May I live with peace. I tried to feel all of these things, but mostly, what I felt was that everything would be okay. The truth was that Cam wasn't so bad, and when she wasn't bothering me, I didn't mind being nice to her. "I should come back here with Cam," I said, and, slowly, I opened my eyes. This time Anger didn't answer me. He wasn't there. On the top of the log beside the patch grass where Anger had been, sat a small green frog. I put out my hand and he hopped into my palm. "I guess we found Metta," I said. In the quiet of the afternoon, the frog just looked at me, and I looked back at him. "May you be happy," I said, and carried the frog to the water's edge. "May you be strong," I said in my deepest voice. "May you be safe," I said with a small smile. "And may you live with--" Before I could finish, the little creature leapt from my hand, and splashed beneath the water lilies. I leaned forward and searched for him, but in the ripples of the water, all I saw was my reflection. It looked like me again and I made funny faces at myself/it until it was time for me to go. Lily took a deep breath in. "Your grandfather was right. The air does smell like pineapple. Can you smell it, Ruby?" she said, and rolled to her side, but Ruby wasn't there. Lily gasped and her eyes widened. On the corner of the blanket where Ruby had been was a big brown toad. "Don't worry," her father laughed, "Ruby's right there." He pointed to a shady spot under a tree, where Ruby was curled up and asleep, her head resting on the flattened checker box. "Oh," Lily giggled, then walked over to Ruby and knelt beside her. "May you be happy," she said, and kissed her sister on the cheek. "May you be strong," Lily said, and she tucked Ruby's little bear under her arm. "May you be safe," she said, covering Ruby with a soft blanket. "And may you live with"--Lily looked around at the trees, the pond and all of the beauty that surrounded them--"peace, may you live with peace." "Daddy, you won't tell Ruby that I said all that stuff, will you? I don't want her to get the wrong idea." "Your secret's safe with me," said her father. Under the shade of the tree, Ruby smiled. It's good having a sister, she thought. Although she didn't understand why anybody would want to live with peas. The word Metta comes from a language called Pali, the language of the earliest Buddhist scriptures. It translates into English as loving kindness, and in practice, it is a strong wish for the happiness of others. When you practice Metta, sit quietly and become aware of your breath. Listen to how your breath sounds, or how it feels, moving in and out of your body. Then think about the person you want to wish kindness to, and recite the Metta prayer silently as many times as feels good. May you be happy. May you be strong. May you be safe. May you live with peace. You can practice Metta for lots of different people, for yourself, and even for the whole world at once. Practicing Metta is not just a way of being kind to other people, but it also helps to quiet our own anger, and to cultivate forgiveness towards others. I hope that practicing Metta brings peace to you and your family. Reader's Guide 1) Why do you think Anger said to Lahn, " I think you're going to have to take care of me for a little while?" 2) What is Metta? 3) Why were Lanh and Anger wearing the same hat and sandals? 4) Anger was reluctant to say the word "peace" in the last part of the metta prayer. Why do you think that Anger didn't want to say the full Metta prayer? 5) Do you have to be angry to practice Metta? 6) Why do you think that Lily has the name Lily? 7) Can you recite the full Metta practice? Excerpted from Peace, Bugs, and Understanding: An Adventure in Sibling Harmony by Gail Silver All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.
