The invisible orientation An introduction to asexuality

Julie Sondra Decker

Book - 2014

"In 'The invisible orientation, ' Julie Sondra Decker outlines what asexuality is, counters misconceptions, provides resources, and puts asexual people's experiences in context as they move through a very sexualized world. It includes information for asexual people to help understand their orientation and what it means for their relationships, as well as tips and facts for those who want to undersand their asexual friends and loved ones."--Jacket.

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Subjects
Published
New York : Carrel Books ©2014
[2014]
Language
English
Main Author
Julie Sondra Decker (author)
Physical Description
xv, 216 pages ; 24 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographical references (pages 187-202) and index.
ISBN
9781631440021
  • Acknowledgments
  • Introduction
  • My Story
  • What Is This Book About?
  • Who Is This Book For?
  • Why Was This Book Written?
  • Part 1. Asexuality
  • The Basics
  • Asexuality Is a Sexual Orientation
  • Asexuality Is a Mature State
  • Asexuality Is a Description
  • Asexuality Is a Healthy Status
  • Asexuality Is a Reasonable Possibility
  • Part 2. Asexual Experiences
  • Romantic Orientation
  • Romanticism
  • Aromanticism
  • Grayromanticism
  • Demiromanticism
  • Libido and Masturbation
  • Intimate and Sexual Activity
  • Polyamory and Non-Monogamy
  • Kink, Fetish Play and BDSM
  • Gray Areas
  • Graysexuality
  • Demisexuality
  • Asexual Relationships
  • Society, Discrimination, and Queer Communities
  • Asexual Community
  • Young and Asexual
  • Older and Asexual
  • Asexual Women, Asexual Men
  • Asexual People of Color
  • Gay / Queer and Asexual
  • Transgender and Asexual
  • Other Non-Cisgender / Non-Binary Identities and Asexuality
  • Autistic and Asexual
  • Disability, Illness, Mental Illness, Disorders, and Asexuality
  • Asexual People and Entertainment
  • Asexual Community Insiders
  • Non-Asexual People
  • The Asexual Experience
  • Part 3. The Many Myths of Asexuality Bingo!
  • Aren't They Using the Word Asexual Incorrectly?
  • Is Asexuality Based On Fear of or Anger Toward Other Genders?
  • Do People Become Asexual Because They Fail at Dating?
  • Do People Become Asexual Because They're Physically Unattractive?
  • Do Asexual People Have a Physical or Hormonal Problem?
  • Are Asexual People Too Distracted by Their Busy Lives to Be Sexual?
  • Did Asexual People Have a Bad Sexual Experience and Swear Off Sex?
  • Could Asexual People Be Suffering From Trauma Brought on by Sexual Abuse?
  • Could Asexual People Be Secretly Gay?
  • Have Asexual People Just Not Met the Right Person?
  • Is Asexuality a Religious Statement?
  • Are Asexual People Going Through a Phase or Seeking Attention by Being Different?
  • Wouldn't Asexual People Be Lonely All the Time?
  • Are Asexual People Repressed, Boring, or Dispassionate?
  • Aren't Asexual People Being Awfully Selfish? Isn't an Asexual Person a Tease?
  • Don't Asexual People Need to Procreate?
  • Do Asexual People Hate Sex or People Who Have Sex?
  • Should Asexual People Get Therapy to Be Fixed?
  • Aren't Asexual People So Lucky to Have Simple, Uncomplicated Lives Without Sex?
  • Shouldn't Asexual People Let an Experienced Sexual Partner Change Their Minds?
  • Part 4. If You're Asexual (Or Think You Might Be)
  • Am I Asexual?
  • But This Changes Everything!
  • Should I Come Out?
  • How Should I Handle the Criticism?
  • What If I'm a Teenager? Everyone Keeps Calling Me a "Late Bloomer."
  • What If I'm Already in a Relationship, or Want to Be? What Do I Tell My Partner(s)?
  • So Where Do I Go From Here?
  • Part 5. If Someone You Know Is Asexual (Or Might Be)
  • A Message for Non-Asexual People
  • What Does It AU Mean?
  • What Do Asexual People Want? How Can I Make Them Feel Accepted?
  • So How Can I Acknowledge Their Existence?
  • Is There Anything I Should Avoid Saying or Doing?
  • Somebody Just Told Me They're Asexual! What Do I Say?
  • But What If I've Already Said Something Kind of Regrettable?
  • What If My Child Just Said They're Asexual? Are They Too Young To Know?
  • What If My Partner Just Said They're Asexual? What Do I Do?
  • Can I Ask Questions?
  • What Questions Can I Ask Without Making Someone Uncomfortable?
  • Anything I Should Avoid Assuming?
  • Part 6. Other Resources
  • Basic Information, Introductions, Organizations, and FAQs:
  • Discussion Groups, Networking, and Forums
  • Academic Resources and Research Collectives
  • Brochures and Educational Materials
  • Published Papers and Book Chapters on Asexuality
  • Published Articles and Interviews on Asexuality
  • Asexuality-Related Professional Video Media
  • Asexuality-Related Audio Interviews, Presentations, and Podcasts
  • Internet Videos and Channels on Asexuality
  • Asexuality-Related Blogs
  • "Asexual Perspectives" Contributors
  • Bibliography
  • Index
Review by Library Journal Review

Starred Review. This is the first substantial book for the nonprofessional to emerge from the small but growing community of individuals who identify themselves as "asexual"-i.e., not sexually attracted to anyone; a portion of the population quoted as being approximately one in 100 people. Decker (contributor, Huffington Post; Salon), who writes in the introduction about her own asexuality, emphasizes that this is an orientation that has to do with feelings, not actions. The author stresses fluidity and inclusiveness: asexuality may change over time; some asexual people enjoy romantic relationships while others have no interest; libido may be high or low; and some are happy in partnered relationships while others enjoy the single life. The language and concepts are clearly modeled on those of the LGBTQ community, with an emphasis on asexuality being a healthy orientation, rather than the result of a mental or physical illness. The final chapter addresses friends and family members of asexual people. VERDICT This title is an important resource for readers of any age who are struggling to understand their sexual orientation, or those who would like to better understand asexuality.-Mary Ann Hughes, Shelton, WA (c) Copyright 2014. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

(c) Copyright Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.