It wasn't your fault Freeing yourself from the shame of childhood abuse with the power of self-compassion

Beverly Engel

Book - 2015

"Shame is one of the most destructive of human emotions. If you suffered childhood physical or sexual abuse, you may experience such intense feelings of shame that it almost seems to define you as a person. In order to begin healing, it's important for you to know that it wasn't your fault. In this gentle guide, therapist and childhood abuse expert Beverly Engel presents a mindfulness and compassion-based therapeutic approach to help you overcome the debilitating shame that keeps you tied to the past. By following the step-by-step exercises in this book, you'll gain a greater understanding of the root cause of your shame. And by cultivating compassion toward yourself, you will begin to heal and move past your painful exp...eriences. Recent studies show that trauma survivors, particularly those with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) resulting from abuse, can greatly benefit from incorporating elements of self-compassion into their treatment. Furthermore, the practice of self-compassion has been shown to decrease PTSD symptoms, including, self-criticism, thought suppression, and rumination. This book is based on the author's powerful and effective Compassion Cure program. With this book, you will develop the skills needed to finally put a stop the crippling self-blame that keeps you from moving on and being happy. You'll learn to focus on your strengths, your courage, and your extraordinary ability to survive. Most of all, you'll learn to replace shame with its counter emotion-pride"--

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Subjects
Published
Oakland, CA : New Harbinger Publications [2015]
©2015
Language
English
Main Author
Beverly Engel (-)
Physical Description
vi, 256 pages ; 23 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographical references (pages 253-256).
ISBN
9781626250994
  • Acknowledgments
  • Introduction
  • Part I. The Shame/Compassion Connection
  • 1. How and Why Child Abuse Creates Shame
  • 2. Why Shame Is So Debilitating
  • 3. How Compassion Can Heal the Shame of Childhood Abuse
  • Part II. The Compassion Cure Program
  • 4. The Obstacles to Self-Compassion
  • 5. Receiving Compassion from Others
  • 6. Allowing Yourself to Feel Your Pain
  • Part III. Practicing the Five Aspects of Self-Compassion
  • 7. Self-Understanding
  • 8. Self-Forgiveness
  • 9. Self-Acceptance
  • 10. Self-Kindness
  • 11. Self-Encouragement
  • Conclusion
  • Afterword
  • References
Review by Library Journal Review

Marriage and family therapist Engel (The Emotionally Abused Woman; Healing Your Emotional Self; The Power of Apology) here focuses on resolving the shame issues of abuse victims by proposing strategies for "self-compassion." Addressing the reader personally, Engel first analyzes the concept of debilitating shame, differentiating it from guilt, and then describes the effects of shame and the strategies people use to overcome it. The author then skillfully presents and combines a number of therapeutic methods put forth recently regarding the development of mindfulness in clients, which can lead to a more compassionate view of themselves. By combining these mindfulness approaches with the specific focus on the shame reactions of childhood abuse victims, Engel helps the participating reader to develop more awareness of how their past trauma affects their present lives. Calling this process "The Compassion Cure Program" and using many case study examples and more than 50 exercises, Engel delivers an accessible path for suffering beginners attempting therapeutic mindfulness practice. Readers are shown ways to develop five elements of self-compassion: self-understanding, self-forgiveness, self-acceptance, self-kindness, and self-encouragement. VERDICT For traumatized self-helpers looking for beginning mindfulness training. More clinically minded readers may prefer Mindfulness and Acceptance, edited by Steven C. Hayes, et al.-Kellie Benson, Oakton Community Coll. Libs., Des Plaines, IL (c) Copyright 2015. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

(c) Copyright Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.