Preparing to die Practical advice and spiritual wisdom from the Tibetan Buddhist tradition

Andrew Holecek, 1955-

Book - 2013

We all face death, but how many of us are actually ready for it? Whether our own death or that of a loved one comes first, how prepared are we, spiritually or practically? In Preparing to Die, Andrew Holecek presents a wide array of resources to help the reader address this unfinished business. Part One shows how to prepare one's mind and how to help others, before, during, and after death. The author explains how spiritual preparation for death can completely transform our relationship to the end of life, dissolving our fear and helping us to feel open and receptive to letting go in the dying process. Daily meditation practices, the stages of dying and how to work with them, and after-death experiences are all detailed in ways that wi...ll be particularly helpful for those with an interest in Tibetan Buddhism and in Tibetan approaches to conscious dying. Part Two addresses the practical issues that surround death. Experts in grief, hospice, the funeral business, and the medical and legal issues of death contribute chapters to prepare the reader for every practical concern, including advance directives, green funerals, the signs of death, warnings about the funeral industry, the stages of grief, and practical care for the dying. Part Three contains heart-advice from twenty of the best-known Tibetan Buddhist masters now teaching in the West.

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Subjects
Published
Boston : Snow Lion 2013.
Language
English
Main Author
Andrew Holecek, 1955- (-)
Physical Description
xiii, 416 pages ; 23 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN
9781559394086
  • Foreword
  • Introduction
  • Part 1. Spiritual Preparation
  • 1. What to Do For Yourself Before You Die
  • Living a Good Life, Learning to Let Go
  • Practices and Teachings to Prepare You for Death
  • Shamatha Meditation
  • Vipashyana Meditation
  • The Four Reminders
  • Doctrinal Preparation
  • Tonglen
  • Reverse Meditations
  • Pure Land Practice
  • Preparation for Sudden Death
  • Noble Truths
  • Devotion
  • The Bardos and the Trikaya
  • Mind Leads All Things
  • Phowa
  • Shitro and Vajrasattva Practice
  • Working with Passion
  • Insurance Dharma
  • Dharma Wills and the Dharma Box
  • Final Advice
  • 2. What You Can Do for Others Before They Die
  • 3. What to Do for Yourself As You Die
  • Letting Go
  • Dissolution and Signs
  • Outer Dissolution
  • What Is Happening?
  • Inner Dissolution
  • Tukdam
  • The Peaceful and Wrathful Visions
  • The Hourglass
  • Conclusion
  • 4. What to Do for Others as They Die
  • The View
  • Sacred Listening
  • Hopes and Fears of the Dying
  • Holding Environments
  • Creating the Environment
  • Looking Forward
  • Advice from Sogyal Rinpoche
  • Telling the Truth
  • Fears about Dying
  • Unfinished Business
  • Giving Hope and Finding Forgiveness
  • Saying Goodbye
  • Toward a Peaceful Death
  • By the Bedside of the Dying
  • Dedicating Our Death
  • Letting Go of Attachment
  • The Grace of Prayer at the Moment of Death
  • The Atmosphere for Dying
  • Esoteric Practices
  • 5. What to Do for Yourself After You Die
  • The View
  • First Step
  • After Remembering
  • Other Practices
  • Advice from The Tibetan Book of the Dead
  • Blocking
  • Bright and Soft Lights
  • Choosing
  • 6. What to Do for Others After They Die
  • The View
  • When to Help
  • The Power of Merit
  • Reading The Tibetan Book of the Dead
  • Sur Offering
  • Commissioning Monasteries
  • Monastic Rituals and Ceremonies for the Dead
  • Gelugpa Rituals
  • Summary
  • Part 2. Practical Preparation
  • 7. Before Death Approaches
  • Legal Issues
  • More on Living Wills and Advance Directives
  • Legal Concerns Before, During, and After Death, by Alex Halpern, JD
  • Wills
  • Disposition of Property
  • Trusts
  • The Living Will and the Medical Power of Attorney
  • Demystifying Hospice: An Underused Service at End of Life, by Beth Patterson, MA, LP C, JD
  • The History of the Hospice Movement
  • The American Hospice Movement and the Medicare Hospice Benefit
  • Buddhism and the Hospice Movement
  • The Services of Hospice
  • What Does Hospice Care Look Like
  • The importance of Managing Pain
  • Conclusion
  • 8. Caring for the Dying
  • The Needs of the Dying, by Christine Longaker
  • The Five Psychological Stages of Dying and Medical Issues Around Death, by Mitchell Gershten, MD
  • The Five Psychological Stages of Dying
  • The Five Stages in Loved Ones
  • Biological Changes
  • Hydration, Nutrition, and Pain Control
  • Physical Signs and Symptoms of Dying, by Andrew Holecek
  • Spiritual Matrix
  • Empty the Disease
  • 9. After Death
  • After-Death Care, by Karen Van Vuuren
  • Caring for Our Own Dead-Is it Legal?
  • Funeral Directors
  • First Steps Following an Expected Death
  • Care of the Body After Death
  • Rigor Mortis
  • Don't Do It Alone
  • A Sacred Space
  • A Suggested Checklist of Items for Physical Care of the Body
  • Bathing
  • Dressing
  • Temporary Preservation Methods
  • Dry Ice
  • Caskets
  • Unexpected Death
  • Odors and Changes at Death
  • Options for Final Disposition-Cremation or Burial
  • Burial at a Conventional Cemetery
  • Green Burial in an Established Conventional Cemetery
  • Green Burial at a Conservation Burial Site or Green Burial Preserve
  • Home Burial
  • Cremation in a Conventional Crematory
  • Open-Air Cremation
  • What to Do with the Cremains
  • Other Options for Final Disposition
  • Donation
  • Exposing Children to Death
  • Working with Grief, by Kim Mooney
  • Working with Grief from a Buddhist Perspective, by Andrew Holecek
  • The Relative Approach
  • The Power and Peril of Pain
  • Anticipatory Grief
  • Compassion and Devotion
  • The Absolute Approach
  • The Joy of Inter-being
  • Conclusion
  • 10. Difficult Issues
  • Organ Donation
  • Euthanasia
  • Suicide
  • Abortion and Miscarriage
  • Death of a Pet
  • Conclusion
  • Part 3. Heart Advice from Spiritual Masters
  • Heart Advice from Spiritual Masters
  • Anam Thubten Rinpoche
  • Anyen Rinpoche
  • Bardor Tulku Rinpoche
  • Chökyi Nyima Rinpoche
  • Dilyak Drupon Rinpoche
  • Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche
  • Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche
  • Jetsun Khandro Rinpoche
  • Khenpo Karthar Rinpoche
  • Lama Tharchin Rinpoche
  • Mingyur Rinpoche
  • Namkha Drimed Rinpoche
  • Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche
  • Tenga Rinpoche
  • Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche
  • Thrangu Rinpoche
  • Tsoknyi Rinpoche
  • Tulku Thondup Rinpoche
  • Acknowledgments
  • Appendix 1. Checklists
  • Spiritual Checklist
  • Farewell Checklist
  • Bardo Package
  • Practical Checklist
  • Other Contacts to Be Made After Someone Dies
  • Financial Responsibilities After Death
  • In the Event of Sudden Death
  • Be Aware
  • Appendix 2. Things You Can Write to Prepare for Death
  • Letters of Forgiveness, and Saying Goodbye
  • Writing Your Own Eulogy and Obituary
  • Appendix 3. Depression and Grief
  • Symptoms That Suggest a Bereaved Person Is Also Depressed
  • Who Is at Risk for Depression After a Loss?
  • Treatment for Grief and Depression
  • Depressive Grief vs. Depression
  • What Might I Expect When I Am Grieving?
  • Notes
  • Selected Bibliography
  • Contributors
  • Index