You can date boys when you're forty Dave Barry on parenting and other topics he knows very little about

Dave Barry

Book - 2014

"In uproarious, brand-new pieces, Barry tackles everything from family trips, bat mitzvah parties and dating (he's serious about that title: "When my daughter can legally commence dating--February 24, 2040--I intend to monitor her closely, even if I am deceased") to funeral instructions ("I would like my eulogy to be given by William Shatner"), the differences between male and female friendships, the deeper meaning of Fifty Shades of Grey, and a father's ultima...te sacrifice: accompanying his daughter to a Justin Bieber concert ("It turns out that the noise teenaged girls make to express happiness is the same noise they would make if their feet were being gnawed off by badgers")"--

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Location Call Number   Status
2nd Floor 817.54/Barry Checked In
New York : G.P. Putnam's Sons [2014]
Physical Description
224 pages : illustrations ; 24 cm
Main Author
Dave Barry (author)
  • Introduction
  • Sophie, Stella and the Bieber plan
  • Manliness
  • What women want
  • Death
  • Nothing! Really
  • "Grammar"
  • Air travelers' FAQ
  • Seeking wifi in the Holy Land
  • How to become a professional author.
Review by Booklist Review

Parenting is one of many topics Barry treats to his humorous take on life. The author of I'll Mature When I'm Dead (2010) recalls taking his 13-year-old daughter to a Justin Bieber concert, where she pitched an invitation to her bat mitzvah onto the stage, where it was then ignored in the ensuing dance frenzy. Barry offers a baby-boomer perspective on a faster-paced life of electronic gadgetry and the Internet and ponders the aging process, including getting mail marketing Medicare and watching Viagra commercials in the company of your children. Barry laments the current lack of manliness and offers detailed instructions on a host of activities a manly man should be capable of doing, such as barbecuing a steak, jump-starting a dead battery, riding a horse, and performing emergency first aid, and offers hilarious musings on the popularity among women of Fifty Shades of Grey (2011). Barry fans will appreciate this latest collection by the Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist.--Bush, Vanessa Copyright 2010 Booklist

From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission. Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

Columnist and humor author Barry (I'll Mature When I'm Dead) includes nine never-before-published essays in this characteristically hilarious collection. Though not only about parenting (Viagra commercials, horseback riding, cremation and grammar are just a few of the topics addressed), Barry is particularly sidesplitting when describing his role as the 65-year-old dad of a 13-year-old daughter. His description of taking his teen to a Justin Bieber concert is brilliantly funny (he compares the young rock star to the GEICO gecko) and will resonate with parents everywhere. His piercing critique of the bestselling Fifty Shades of Grey contains on-target observations about the mysteries of popularity and success. A lengthier travel essay on a trip to Israel, "Seeking Wi-Fi in the Holy Land," which he takes with his daughter and wife (both of whom are Jewish though he is not), ranges from humorous rants about rappelling a cliff or riding camels with Bedouins to more somber observations on the weighty responsibilities of parenthood. As always, Barry's humor takes unexpected turns, whether he's focusing on the penis bone of a walrus, the "wussification of American men," or on how males and females communicate. Parents and non-parents alike will find plenty of laughs in the author's latest collection, which, as he states in his introduction, is "about many things." Agent: Amy Berkower, Writers House. (Mar.) (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved Review by Kirkus Book Review

Another wide-ranging collection of funny essays about parenting--and "grammar, sex, camels, women, brain surgery, sex with women, how to become a professional author, airlines, Justin Bieber and death"--by best-selling humorist Barry (Insane City, 2013, etc.). The author has made a career of chronicling his life (and those of his now-adult son and teenage daughter) in his syndicated newspaper column and several essay collections. The format is as familiar as an episode of a police procedural: Barry offers ludicrous yet authoritatively delivered advice and glumly acknowledges that following it might get you arrested. Although parenting is well-worn fodder for comedians, only Barry would coolly share his idea to install traps around his home to capture any teenage boys who would dare watch TV from the same sofa as his daughter and release the boys ("nothing more than short men") into the Everglades. The author provides useful information for parents of tweens and teens--e.g., "BFF stands for 'Best Friends Forever.' This is a term that girls my daughter's age use to describe essentially everyone they know"--as well as not-so-helpful advice on how to perform emergency first aid: "Keep the victim calm by administering several brisk facial slaps and shouting, CALM DOWN, DAMMIT! DO YOU WANT TO DIE??'When the ambulance arrives, ask the paramedics if you can operate the siren." The book is also part travelogue and part writing guide, as well as the author's detailed, pre-planned funeral program ("IX. Lucky Seat Announcement: The Audience will be instructed to look under their seats. Under one of them will be a small container of my ashes, which the audience member can take home"). A mishmash, but even those who don't have children and have never lived in Miami or searched for a Wi-Fi connection in the Israeli desert will appreciate Barry's lighthearted absurdity.]] Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.